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charges； and lets himself go for their amusement； yet at the same
time tries to show them that one can enjoy oneself decently and
in an honourable manner。 However； his unexpected gaiety had an
infectious influence upon myself and my companions； and the more
so because each of us had now drunk about half a bottle of
champagne。
It was in this pleasing frame of mind that I went out into the
main salon to smoke a cigarette which Dubkoff had given me。 In
rising I noticed that my head seemed to swim a little； and that
my legs and arms retained their natural positions only when I
bent my thoughts determinedly upon them。 At other moments my legs
would deviate from the straight line； and my arms describe
strange gestures。 I concentrated my whole attention upon the
members in question； forced my hands first to raise themselves
and button my tunic； and then to smooth my hair （though they
ruffled my locks in doing so）； and lastly commanded my legs to
march me to the doora function which they duly performed；
though at one time with too much reluctance； and at another with
too much ABANDON （the left leg； in particular； coming to a halt
every moment on tiptoe）。 Some one called out to me； 〃Where are
you going to？ They will bring you a cigar…light directly；〃 but I
guessed the voice to be Woloda's； and； feeling satisfied；
somehow； that I had succeeded in divining the fact； merely smiled
airily in reply； and continued on my way。
XVI
THE QUARREL
In the main salon I perceived sitting at a small table a short；
squat gentleman of the professional type。 He had a red moustache；
and was engaged in eating something or another； while by his side
sat a tall； clean…shaven individual with whom he was carrying on
a conversation in French。 Somehow the aspect of these two persons
displeased me； yet I decided； for all that； to light my cigarette
at the candelabrum which was standing before them。 Looking from
side to side； to avoid meeting their gaze； I approached the
table； and applied my cigarette to the flame。 When it was fairly
alight； I involuntarily threw a glance at the gentleman who was
eating； and found his grey eyes fixed upon me with an expression
of intense displeasure。 Just as I was turning away his red
moustache moved a little； and he said in French：
〃I do not like people to smoke when I am dining； my good sir。〃
I murmured something inaudible。
〃No； I do not like it at all；〃 he went on sternly； and with a
glance at his clean…shaven companion； as though inviting him to
admire the way in which he was about to deal with me。 〃I do not
like it； my good sir； nor do I like people who have the impudence
to puff their smoke up one's very nose。〃
By this time I had gathered that it was myself he was scolding；
and at first felt as though I had been altogether in the wrong；
〃I did not mean to inconvenience you；〃 I said。
〃Well； if you did not suppose you were being impertinent； at
least I did！ You are a cad； young sir！〃 he shouted in reply。
〃But what right have you to shout at me like that？〃 I exclaimed；
feeling that it was now HE that was insulting ME； and growing
angry accordingly。
〃This much right；〃 he replied； 〃that I never allow myself to be
overlooked by any one； and that I always teach young fellows like
yourself their manners。 What is your name； young sir； and where
do you live？〃
At this I felt so hurt that my teeth chattered； and I felt as
though I were choking。 Yet all the while I was conscious of being
in the wrong； and so； instead of offering any further rudeness to
the offended one； humbly told him my name and address。
〃And MY name； young sir；〃 he returned； 〃is Kolpikoff； and I will
trouble you to be more polite to me in future。However； You will
hear from me again〃 （〃vous aurez de mes nouvelles〃the
conversation had been carried on wholly in French）； was his
concluding remark。
To this I replied； 〃I shall be delighted；〃 with an infusion of as
much hauteur as I could muster into my tone。 Then； turning on my
heel； I returned with my cigarettewhich had meanwhile gone out
to our own room。
I said nothing； either to my brother or my friends； about what
had happened （and the more so because they were at that moment
engaged in a dispute of their own）； but sat down in a corner to
think over the strange affair。 The words； 〃You are a cad； young
sir；〃 vexed me more and more the longer that they sounded in my
ears。 My tipsiness was gone now； and； in considering my conduct
during the dispute； the uncomfortable thought came over me that I
had behaved like a coward。
〃Yet what right had he to attack me？〃 I reflected。 〃Why did he
not simply intimate to me that I was annoying him？ After all； it
may have been he that was in the wrong。 Why； too； when he called
me a young cad； did I not say to him； 'A cad； my good sir； is one
who takes offence'？ Or why did I not simply tell him to hold his
tongue？ That would have been the better course。 Or why did I not
challenge him to a duel？ No； I did none of those things； but
swallowed his insults like a wretched coward。〃
Still the words； 〃You are a cad； young sir；〃 kept sounding in my
ears with maddening iteration。 〃I cannot leave things as they
are；〃 I at length decided as I rose to my feet with the fixed
intention of returning to the gentleman and saying something
outrageous to himperhaps； also； of breaking the candelabrum
over his head if occasion offered。 Yet； though I considered the
advisability of this last measure with some pleasure； it was not
without a good deal of trepidation that I re…entered the main
salon。 As luck would have it； M。 Kolpikoff was no longer there；
but only a waiter engaged in clearing the table。 For a moment I
felt like telling the waiter the whole story； and explaining to
him my innocence in the matter； but for some reason or another I
thought better of it； and once more returned； in the same hazy
condition of mind； to our own room。
〃What has become of our DIPLOMAT？〃 Dubkoff was just saying。 〃Upon
him now hang the fortunes of Europe。〃
〃Oh； leave me alone；〃 I said； turning moodily away。 Then； as I
paced the room； something made me begin to think that Dubkoff was
not altogether a good fellow。 〃There is nothing very much to
admire in his eternal jokes and his nickname of 'DIPLOMAT；'〃 I
reflected。 〃All he thinks about is to win money from Woloda and
to go and see his 'Auntie。' There is nothing very nice in all
that。 Besides； everything he says has a touch of blackguardism in
it； and he is forever trying to make people laugh。 In my opinion
he is simply stupid when he is not absolutely a brute。〃 I spent
about five minutes in these reflections； and felt my enmity
towards Dubkoff continually increasing。 For his part； he took no
notice of me； and that angered me the more。 I actually felt vexed
with Woloda and Dimitri because they went on talking to him。
〃I tell you what； gentlemen： the DIPLOMAT