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read。
Dog。 Come hither； neighbour Seacoal。 God hath bless'd you with a
good name。 To be a well…favoured man is the gift of fortune； but to write
and read comes by nature。
2。 Watch。 Both which； Master Constable
Dog。 You have。 I knew it would be your answer。 Well； for your favour；
sir； why； give God thanks and make no boast of it； and for your writing
and reading； let that appear when there is no need of such vanity。 You are
thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the
watch。 Therefore bear you the lanthorn。 This is your charge： you shall
comprehend all vagrom men； you are to bid any man stand； in the Prince's
name。
2。 Watch。 How if 'a will not stand？
Dog。 Why then； take no note of him； but let him go； and presently call
the rest of the watch together and thank God you are rid of a knave。
Verg。 If he will not stand when he is bidden； he is none of the Prince's
subjects。
Dog。 True； and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's subjects。
You shall also make no noise in the streets； for the watch to babble and to
talk is most tolerable； and not to be endured。
2。 Watch。 We will rather sleep than talk。 We know what belongs to a
watch。
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Dog。 Why； you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman； for I
cannot see how sleeping should offend。 Only have a care that your bills be
not stol'n。 Well； you are to call at all the alehouses and bid those that are
drunk get them to bed。
2。 Watch。 How if they will not？
Dog。 Why then； let them alone till they are sober。 If they make you not
then the better answer； You may say they are not the men you took them
for。
2。 Watch。 Well； sir。
Dog。 If you meet a thief； you may suspect him； by virtue of your office；
to be no true man； and for such kind of men； the less you meddle or make
with them； why； the more your honesty。
2。 Watch。 If we know him to be a thief； shall we not lay hands on him？
Dog。 Truly； by your office you may； but I think they that touch pitch
will be defil'd。 The most peaceable way for you； if you do take a thief； is
to let him show himself what he is； and steal out of your company。
Verg。 You have been always called a merciful man； partner。
Dog。 Truly； I would not hang a dog by my will； much more a man who
hath any honesty in him。
Verg。 If you hear a child cry in the night； you must call to the nurse
and bid her still it。
2。 Watch。 How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us？
Dog。 Why then； depart in peace and let the child wake her with crying；
for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a
calf when he bleats。
Verg。 'Tis very true。
Dog。 This is the end of the charge： you； constable； are to present the
Prince's own person。 If you meet the Prince in the night； you may stay
him。
Verg。 Nay； by'r lady； that I think 'a cannot。
Dog。 Five shillings to one on't with any man that knows the statutes；
he may stay him！ Marry； not without the Prince be willing； for indeed the
watch ought to offend no man； and it is an offence to stay a man against
his will。
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Verg。 By'r lady； I think it be so。
Dog。 Ha； ah； ha！ Well； masters； good night。 An there be any matter of
weight chances； call up me。 Keep your fellows' counsels and your own；
and good night。 Come； neighbour。
2。 Watch。 Well； masters； we hear our charge。 Let us go sit here upon
the church bench till two； and then all to bed。
Dog。 One word more； honest neighbours。 I pray you watch about
Signior Leonato's door； for the wedding being there tomorrow； there is a
great coil to…night。 Adieu。 Be vigitant； I beseech you。
＇Exeunt Dogberry and Verges。＇
＇Enter Borachio and Conrade。＇
Bora。 What； Conrade！
2。 Watch。 ＇aside＇ Peace！ stir not！
Bora。 Conrade； I say！
Con。 Here； man。 I am at thy elbow。
Bora。 Mass； and my elbow itch'd！ I thought there would a scab follow。
Con。 I will owe thee an answer for that； and now forward with thy tale。
Bora。 Stand thee close then under this penthouse； for it drizzles rain；
and I will； like a true drunkard； utter all to thee。
2。 Watch。 ＇aside＇ Some treason； masters。 Yet stand close。
Bora。 Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats。
Con。 Is it possible that any villany should be so dear？
Bora。 Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villany should
be so rich； for when rich villains have need of poor ones； poor ones may
make what price they will。
Con。 I wonder at it。
Bora。 That shows thou art unconfirm'd。 Thou knowest that the fashion
of a doublet； or a hat； or a cloak； is nothing to a man。
Con。 Yes； it is apparel。
Bora。 I mean the fashion。
Con。 Yes； the fashion is the fashion。
Bora。 Tush！ I may as well say the fool's the fool。 But seest thou not
what a deformed thief this fashion is？
2。 Watch。 ＇aside＇ I know that Deformed。 'A bas been a vile thief this
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seven year； 'a goes up and down like a gentleman。 I remember his name。
Bora。 Didst thou not hear somebody？
Con。 No； 'twas the vane on the house。
Bora。 Seest thou not； I say； what a deformed thief this fashion is？ how
giddily 'a turns about all the hot…bloods between fourteen and five…and…
thirty？ sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechy
painting； sometime like god Bel's priests in the old church window；
sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirch'd worm…eaten tapestry；
where his codpiece seems as massy as his club？
Con。 All this I see； and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel
than the man。 But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too； that thou
hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion？
Bora。 Not so neither。 But know that I have to…night wooed Margaret；
the Lady Hero's gentlewoman； by the name of Hero。 She leans me out at
her mistress' chamber window； bids me a thousand times good nightI tell
this tale vilely； I should first tell thee how the Prince； Claudio and my
master； planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John； saw
afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter。
Con。 And thought they Margaret was Hero？
Bora。 T