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tried to daunt the youth； For days； indeed； but vainly … The stripling smiled！
… to tell the truth； The stripling smiled inanely。
For weeks the goblin weird and wild； That noble stripling haunted； For
weeks the stripling stood and smiled； Unmoved and all undaunted。 The
sombre ghost exclaimed； 〃Your plan Has failed you； goblin； plainly： Now
watch yon hardy Hieland man； So stalwart and ungainly。
〃These are the men who chase the roe； Whose footsteps never falter；
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Who bring with them； where'er they go； A smack of old SIR WALTER。 Of
such as he； the men sublime Who lead their troops victorious； Whose
deeds go down to after…time； Enshrined in annals glorious！
〃Of such as he the bard has said 'Hech thrawfu' raltie rorkie！ Wi' thecht
ta' croonie clapperhead And fash' wi' unco pawkie！' He'll faint away when
I appear； Upon his native heather； Or p'r'aps he'll only scream with fear； Or
p'r'aps the two together。〃
The spectre showed himself； alone； To do his ghostly battling； With
curdling groan and dismal moan； And lots of chains a…rattling！ But no … the
chiel's stout Gaelic stuff Withstood all ghostly harrying； His fingers closed
upon the snuff Which upwards he was carrying。
For days that ghost declined to stir； A foggy shapeless giant … For
weeks that splendid officer Stared back again defiant。 Just as the
Englishman returned The goblin's vulgar staring； Just so the Scotchman
boldly spurned The ghost's unmannered scaring。
For several years the ghostly twain These Britons bold have haunted；
But all their efforts are in vain … Their victims stand undaunted。 This very
day the imp； and ghost； Whose powers the imp derided； Stand each at his
allotted post … The bet is undecided。
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Ballad： The Phantom Curate。 A
Fable
A BISHOP once … I will not name his see … Annoyed his clergy in the
mode conventional； From pulpit shackles never set them free； And found a
sin where sin was unintentional。 All pleasures ended in abuse auricular …
The Bishop was so terribly particular。
Though； on the whole； a wise and upright man； He sought to make of
human pleasures clearances； And form his priests on that much…lauded
plan Which pays undue attention to appearances。 He couldn't do good
deeds without a psalm in 'em； Although； in truth； he bore away the palm in
'em。
Enraged to find a deacon at a dance； Or catch a curate at some mild
frivolity； He sought by open censure to enhance Their dread of joining
harmless social jollity。 Yet he enjoyed （a fact of notoriety） The ordinary
pleasures of society。
One evening； sitting at a pantomime （Forbidden treat to those who
stood in fear of him）； Roaring at jokes； SANS metre； sense； or rhyme； He
turned； and saw immediately in rear of him； His peace of mind upsetting；
and annoying it； A curate； also heartily enjoying it。
Again； 't was Christmas Eve； and to enhance His children's pleasure in
their harmless rollicking； He； like a good old fellow； stood to dance； When
something checked the current of his frolicking： That curate； with a maid
he treated lover…ly； Stood up and figured with him in the 〃Coverley！〃
Once； yielding to an universal choice （The company's demand was an
emphatic one； For the old Bishop had a glorious voice）； In a quartet he
joined … an operatic one。 Harmless enough； though ne'er a word of grace in
it； When； lo！ that curate came and took the bass in it！
One day； when passing through a quiet street； He stopped awhile and
joined a Punch's gathering； And chuckled more than solemn folk think
meet； To see that gentleman his Judy lathering； And heard； as Punch was
being treated penalty； That phantom curate laughing all hyaenally。
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Now at a picnic； 'mid fair golden curls； Bright eyes； straw hats；
BOTTINES that fit amazingly； A croquet…bout is planned by all the girls；
And he； consenting； speaks of croquet praisingly； But suddenly declines to
play at all in it … The curate fiend has come to take a ball in it！
Next； when at quiet sea…side village； freed From cares episcopal and
ties monarchical； He grows his beard； and smokes his fragrant weed； In
manner anything but hierarchical … He sees … and fixes an unearthly stare
on it … That curate's face； with half a yard of hair on it！
At length he gave a charge； and spake this word： 〃Vicars； your curates
to enjoyment urge ye may； To check their harmless pleasuring's absurd；
What laymen do without reproach； my clergy may。〃 He spake； and lo！ at
this concluding word of him； The curate vanished … no one since has heard
of him。
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Ballad： The Sensation Captain
No nobler captain ever trod Than CAPTAIN PARKLEBURY TODD；
So good … so wise … so brave； he！ But still； as all his friends would own； He
had one folly … one alone … This Captain in the Navy。
I do not think I ever knew A man so wholly given to Creating a
sensation； Or p'raps I should in justice say … To what in an Adelphi play Is
known as 〃situation。〃
He passed his time designing traps To flurry unsuspicious chaps … The
taste was his innately； He couldn't walk into a room Without ejaculating
〃Boom！〃 Which startled ladies greatly。
He'd wear a mask and muffling cloak； Not； you will understand； in
joke； As some assume disguises； He did it； actuated by A simple love of
mystery And fondness for surprises。
I need not say he loved a maid … His eloquence threw into shade All
others who adored her。 The maid； though pleased at first； I know； Found；
after several years or so； Her startling lover bored her。
So； when his orders came to sail； She did not faint or scream or wail；
Or with her tears anoint him： She shook his hand； and said 〃Good…bye；〃
With laughter dancing in her eye … Which seemed to disappoint him。
But ere he went aboard his boat； He placed around her little throat A
ribbon； blue and yellow； On which he hung a double…tooth … A simple
token this