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…I 'll tell you what I did。 You poor devil； said I； you are a
disgrace to your family。 We must send you to a surgeon and have some
kind of a Taliacotian operation performed on you。 （You remember the
operation as described in Hudibras； of course。） The first thing was
to find a subject of similar age and aspect ready to part with one of
his members。 So I went to Quidlibet's；you know Quidlibet and that
hieroglyphic sign of his with the omniscient…looking eye as its most
prominent feature；and laid my case before him。 I want you； said I；
to look up an old book of mighty little value；one of your ten…cent
vagabonds would be the sort of thing；but an old beggar； with a
cover like this； and lay it by for me。
And Quidlibet； who is a pleasant body to deal with；only he has
insulted one or two gentlemanly books by selling them to me at very
low…bred and shamefully insufficient prices；Quidlibet； I say； laid
by three old books for me to help myself from； and did n't take the
trouble even to make me pay the thirty cents for 'em。 Well； said I
to myself； let us look at our three books that have undergone the
last insult short of the trunkmaker's or the paper…mills； and see
what they are。 There may be something worth looking at in one or the
other of 'em。
Now do you know it was with a kind of a tremor that I untied the
package and looked at these three unfortunates； too humble for the
companionable dime to recognize as its equal in value。 The same sort
of feeling you know if you ever tried the Bible…and…key； or the
Sortes Virgiliance。 I think you will like to know what the three
books were which had been bestowed upon me gratis； that I might tear
away one of the covers of the one that best matched my Cicero； and
give it to the binder to cobble my crippled volume with。
The Master took the three books from a cupboard and continued。
No。 I。 An odd volume of The Adventurer。 It has many interesting
things enough； but is made precious by containing Simon Browne's
famous Dedication to the Queen of his Answer to Tindal's
〃Christianity as old as the Creation。〃 Simon Browne was the Man
without a Soul。 An excellent person； a most worthy dissenting
minister； but lying under a strange delusion。
Here is a paragraph from his Dedication：
〃He was once a man； and of some little name； but of no worth； as his
present unparalleled case makes but too manifest； for by the
immediate hand of an avenging GOD； his very thinking substance has；
for more than seven years； been continually wasting away； till it is
wholly perished out of him； if it be not utterly come to nothing。
None； no； not the least remembrance of its very ruins； remains； not
the shadow of an idea is left； nor any sense that so much as one
single one； perfect or imperfect； whole or diminished； ever did
appear to a mind within him； or was perceived by it。〃
Think of this as the Dedication of a book 〃universally allowed to be
the best which that controversy produced；〃 and what a flood of light
it pours on the insanities of those self…analyzing diarists whose
morbid reveries have been so often mistaken for piety！ No。 I。 had
something for me； then； besides the cover； which was all it claimed
to have worth offering。
No。 II。 was 〃A View of Society and Manners in Italy。〃 Vol。 III。 By
John Moore； M。 D。 （Zeluco Moore。） You know his pleasant book。 In
this particular volume what interested me most； perhaps； was the very
spirited and intelligent account of the miracle of the liquefaction
of the blood of Saint Januarius； but it gave me an hour's mighty
agreeable reading。 So much for Number Two。
No。 III。 was 〃An ESSAY On the Great EFFECTS of Even Languid and
Unheeded LOCAL MOTION。〃 By the Hon。 Robert Boyle。 Published in
1685； and； as appears from other sources； 〃received with great and
general applause。〃 I confess I was a little startled to find how
near this earlier philosopher had come to the modern doctrines； such
as are illustrated in Tyndall's 〃Heat considered as a Mode of
Motion。〃 He speaks of 〃Us； who endeavor to resolve the Phenomena of
Nature into Matter and Local motion。〃 That sounds like the
nineteenth century； but what shall we say to this？ 〃As when a bar of
iron or silver； having been well hammered； is newly taken off of the
anvil； though the eye can discern no motion in it； yet the touch will
readily perceive it to be very hot； and if you spit upon it； the
brisk agitation of the insensible parts will become visible in that
which they will produce in the liquor。〃 He takes a bar of tin； and
tries whether by bending it to and fro two or three times he cannot
〃procure a considerable internal commotion among the parts 〃； and
having by this means broken or cracked it in the middle； finds； as he
expected； that the middle parts had considerably heated each other。
There are many other curious and interesting observations in the
volume which I should like to tell you of； but these will serve my
purpose。
Which book furnished you the old cover you wanted？ said I。
Did he kill the owl ？said the Master； laughing。 ＇I suppose you；
the reader； know the owl story。＇It was Number Two that lent me one
of his covers。 Poor wretch！ He was one of three； and had lost his
two brothers。 From him that hath not shall be taken even that which
he hath。 The Scripture had to be fulfilled in his case。 But I
couldn't help saying to myself； What do you keep writing books for；
when the stalls are covered all over with 'em； good books； too； that
nobody will give ten cents apiece for； lying there like so many dead
beasts of burden； of no account except to strip off their hides？
What is the use； I say？ I have made a book or two in my time； and I
am making another that perhaps will see the light one of these days。
But if I had my life to live over again； I think I should go in for
silence； and get as near to Nirvana as I could。 This language is
such a paltry tool！ The handle of it cuts and the blade doesn't。
You muddle yourself by not knowing what you mean by a word； and send
out your unanswered riddles and rebuses to clear up other people's
difficulties。 It always seems to me that talk is a ripple and
thought is a ground swell。 A string of words； that mean pretty much
anything； helps you in a certain sense to get hold of a thought； just
as a string of syllables that mean nothing helps you to a word； but
it's a poor business； it's a poor business； and the more you study
definition the more you find out how poor it is。 Do you know I
sometimes think our little entomological neighbor is doing a sounder
business than we people that make books about ourselves and our
slippery abstractions？ A man can see the spots on a bug and count
'em； and tell what their color is； and put another bug alongside of
him and see whether the two are alike or different。 And when he uses
a word he knows just what he means。 There is no mistake as to the
meaning and identity of pulex irritans； confound him！
What if we should look in； some day； on the Scarabeeist； as he
calls himself？said I。…The fact is the Master had got agoing at
such a rate that I was willing to give a little turn to the
conversation。
Oh；