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all。 I only urge you not to soil yourself by voting for Blaine。。。。
Don't be offended； I mean no offense。 I am not concerned about the
rest of the nation； but well； good…by。
Yours ever； MARK。
Beyond his prayerful letters to Howells； Clemens did not greatly concern
himself with politics on the farm； but； returning to Hartford； he went
vigorously into the campaign； presided； as usual； at mass…meetings； and
made political speeches which invited the laughter of both parties； and
were universally quoted and printed without regard to the paper's
convictions。
It was during one such speech as this that； in the course of his remarks；
a band outside came marching by playing patriotic music so loudly as to
drown his voice。 He waited till the band got by； but by the time he was
well under way again another band passed； and once more he was obliged to
wait till the music died away in the distance。 Then he said； quite
serenely：
〃You will find my speech； without the music； in the morning paper。〃
In introducing Carl Schurz at a great mugwump mass…meeting at Hartford；
October 20； 1884。； he remarked that he ＇Clemens＇ was the only
legitimately elected officer； and was expected to read a long list of
vice…presidents； but he had forgotten all about it； and he would ask all
the gentlemen there； of whatever political complexion； to do him a great
favor by acting as vice…presidents。 Then he said：
As far as my own political change of heart is concerned； I have not
been convinced by any Democratic means。 The opinion I hold of Mr。
Blaine is due to the comments of the Republican press before the
nomination。 Not that they have said bitter or scandalous things；
because Republican papers are above that； but the things they said
did not seem to be complimentary； and seemed to me to imply
editorial disapproval of Mr。 Blame and the belief that he was not
qualified to be President of the United States。
It is just a little indelicate for me to be here on this occasion
before an assemblage of voters； for the reason that the ablest
newspaper in Coloradothe ablest newspaper in the worldhas
recently nominated me for President。 It is hardly fit for me to
preside at a discussion of the brother candidate； but the best among
us will do the most repulsive things the moment we are smitten with
a Presidential madness。 If I had realized that this canvass was to
turn on the candidate's private character I would have started that
Colorado paper sooner。 I know the crimes that can be imputed and
proved against me can be told on the fingers of your hands。 This
cannot be said of any other Presidential candidate in the field。
Inasmuch as the Blaine…Cleveland campaign was essentially a campaign of
scurrility； this touch was loudly applauded。
Mark Twain voted for Grover Cleveland； though up to the very eve of
election he was ready to support a Republican nominee in whom he had
faith； preferably Edmunds； and he tried to inaugurate a movement by which
Edmunds might be nominated as a surprise candidate and sweep the country。
It was probably Dr。 Burchard's ill…advised utterance concerning the three
alleged R's of Democracy； 〃Rum； Romanism； and Rebellion；〃 that defeated
Blaine； and by some strange； occult means Mark Twain's butler George got
wind of this damning speech before it became news on the streets of
Hartford。 George had gone with his party； and had a considerable sum of
money wagered on Blaine's election； but he knew it was likely to be very
close； and he had an instant and deep conviction that these three fatal
words and Blaine's failure to repudiate them meant the candidate's
downfall。 He immediately abandoned everything in the shape of household
duties； and within the briefest possible time had changed enough money to
make him safe； and leave him a good margin of winnings besides； in the
event of Blame's defeat。 This was evening。 A very little later the news
of Blaine's blunder； announced from the opera…house stage； was like the
explosion of a bomb。 But it was no news to George； who went home
rejoicing with his enemies。
CLII
PLATFORMING WITH CABLE
The drain of many investments and the establishment of a publishing house
had told heavily on Clemens's finances。 It became desirable to earn a
large sum of money with as much expedition as possible。 Authors'
readings had become popular； and Clemens had read in Philadelphia and
Boston with satisfactory results。 He now conceived the idea of a grand
tour of authors as a commercial enterprise。 He proposed to Aldrich；
Howells； and Cable that he charter a private car for the purpose； and
that with their own housekeeping arrangements； cooking； etc。； they could
go swinging around the circuit； reaping； a golden harvest。 He offered to
be general manager of the expedition； the impresario as it were； and
agreed to guarantee the others not less than seventy…five dollars a day
apiece as their net return from the 〃circus；〃 as he called it。
Howells and Aldrich liked well enough to consider it as an amusing
prospect； but only Cable was willing to realize it。 He had been scouring
the country on his own account； and he was willing enough to join forces
with Mark Twain。
Clemens detested platforming； but the idea of reading from his books or
manuscript for some reason seemed less objectionable； and； as already
stated； the need of much money had become important。
He arranged with J。 B。 Pond for the business side of the expedition；
though in reality he was its proprietor。 The private…car idea was given
up； but he employed Cable at a salary of four hundred and fifty dollars a
week and expenses； and he paid Pond a commission。 Perhaps； without going
any further； we may say that the tour was a financial success； and
yielded a large return of the needed funds。
Clemens and Cable had a pleasant enough time； and had it not been for the
absence from home and the disagreeableness of railway travel； there would
have been little to regret。 They were a curiously associated pair。
Cable was orthodox in his religion； devoted to Sunday…school； Bible
reading； and church affairs in general。 Clemenswell； Clemens was
different。 On the first evening of their tour； when the latter was
comfortably settled in bed with an entertaining book； Cable appeared with
his Bible； and proceeded to read a chapter aloud。 Clemens made no
comment； and this went on for an evening or two more。 Then he said：
〃See here； Cable； we'll have to cut this part of the program out。 You
can read the Bible as much as you please so long as you don't read it to
me。〃
Cable retired courteously。 He had a keen sense of humor； and most things
that Mark Twain did； whether he approved or not； amused him。 Cable did
not smoke； but he seemed always to prefer the smoking compartment when
they traveled； to the more respectable portions of the car。 One day
Clemens sand to him：
〃Cable； why do you sit in here？ You don't smoke； and you know I always
smoke； and sometimes swear。〃
Cable s