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He ran down the stairs； and as he got near the parlor door； which stood
open； he saw a man sitting on a couch with what seemed to be some framed
water…color pictures on the floor near his feet。
〃Ah； ha！〃 he thought； 〃I see。 A picture agent。 I'll soon get rid of
him。〃
He went in with his best； 〃 Well； what can I do for you？〃 air； which he；
as well as any man living； knew how to assume； a friendly air enough； but
not encouraging。 The gentleman rose and extended his hand。
〃How are you； Mr。 Clemens？〃 he said。
Of course this was the usual thing with men who had axes to grind or
goods to sell。 Clemens did not extend a very cordial hand。 He merely
raised a loose； indifferent handa discouraging hand。
〃And how is Mrs。 Clemens？〃 asked the uninvited guest。
So this was his game。 He would show an interest in the family and
ingratiate himself in that way； he would be asking after the children
next。
〃WellMrs。 Clemens is about as usualI believe。〃
〃And the childrenMiss Susie and little Clara？〃
This was a bit startling。 He knew their names！ Still； that was easy to
find out。 He was a smart agent； wonderfully smart。 He must be got rid
of。
〃The children are well； quite well；〃 and （pointing down at the pictures）…
…〃We've got plenty like these。 We don't want any more。 No； we don't
care for any more；〃 skilfully working his visitor toward the door as he
talked。
The man； looking non…plusseda good deal puzzledallowed himself to be
talked into the hall and toward the front door。 Here he paused a moment：
〃Mr。 Clemens； will you tell me where Mr。 Charles Dudley Warner lives？〃
This was the chance！ He would work him off on Charlie Warner。 Perhaps
Warner needed pictures。
〃Oh； certainly； certainly！ Right across the yard。 I'll show you。
There's a walk right through。 You don't need to go around the front way
at all。 You'll find him at home； too； I'm pretty sure〃； all the time
working his caller out and down the step and in the right direction。
The visitor again extended his hand。
〃Please remember me to Mrs。 Clemens and the children。〃
〃Oh； certainly； certainly； with pleasure。 Good day。 Yes； that's the
house Good…by。〃
On the way back to the billiard…room Mrs。 Clemens called to him。 She was
ill that day。
〃Youth！〃
〃Yes； Livy。〃 He went in for a word。
〃George brought me Mr。 B's card。 I hope you were very nice to him；
the Bs were so nice to us； once last year； when you were gone。〃；
〃The Bs Why； Livy〃
〃Yes； of course； and I asked him to be sure to call when he came to
Hartford。〃
He gazed at her helplessly。
〃Well； he's been here。〃
〃Oh； Youth； have you done anything？〃
〃Yes； of course I have。 He seemed to have some pictures to sell； so I
sent him over to Warner's。 I noticed he didn't take them with him。 Land
sakes； Livy； what can I do？〃
〃Which way did he go； Youth？〃
〃Why； I sent him to Charlie Warner's。 I thought〃
〃Go right after him。 Go quick！ Tell him what you have done。〃
He went without further delay； bareheaded and in his slippers； as usual。
Warner and B were in cheerful and friendly converse。 They had met
before。 Clemens entered gaily：
〃Oh Yes； I see！ You found him all right。 Charlie； we met Mr。 B and
his wife in Europe last summer and they made things pleasant for us。 I
wanted to come over here with him； but was a good deal occupied just
then。 Livy isn't very well； but she seems a good deal better； so I just
followed along to have a good talk； all together。〃
He stayed an hour； and whatever bad impression had formed in B's mind
faded long before the hour ended。 Returning home Clemens noticed the
pictures still on the parlor floor。
〃George；〃 he said； 〃what pictures are those that gentleman left？〃
〃Why； Mr。 Clemens； those are our own pictures。 I've been straightening
up the room a little； and Mrs。 Clemens had me set them around to see how
they would look in new places。 The gentleman was looking at them while
he was waiting for you to come down。〃
CXXIX
FURTHER AFFAIRS AT THE FARM
It was at Elmira； in July （1880）； that the third little girl cameJane
Lampton； for her grandmother； but always called Jean。 She was a large；
lovely baby； robust and happy。 When she had been with them a little more
than a month Clemens； writing to Twichell； said：
DEAR OLD JOE；Concerning Jean Clemens； if anybody said he 〃didn't
see no pints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog；〃 I
should think he was convicting himself of being a pretty poor sort
of observer。 She is the comeliest and daintiest and perfectest
little creature the continents and archipelagos have seen since the
Bay and Susy were her size。 I will not go into details； it is not
necessary； you will soon be in Hartford； where I have already hired
a hall； the admission fee will be but a trifle。
It is curious to note the change in the stock…quotations of the
Affection Board brought about by throwing this new security on the
market。 Four weeks ago the children still put Mama at the head of
the list right along； where she had always been。 But now：
Jean
Mama
Motley ｜cats
Fraulein ｜
Papa
That is the way it stands now。 Mama is become No。 2； I have dropped
from No。 4； and am become No。 5。 Some time ago it used to be nip
and tuck between me and the cats； but after the cats 〃developed〃 I
didn't stand any more show。
Been reading Daniel Webster's Private Correspondence。 Have read a
hundred of his diffuse； conceited； 〃eloquent；〃 bathotic （or
bathostic） letters； written in that dim （no； vanished） past； when he
was a student。 And Lord！ to think that this boy； who is so real to
me now； and so booming with fresh young blood and bountiful life；
and sappy cynicisms about girls； has since climbed the Alps of fame
and stood against the sun one brief； tremendous moment with the
world's eyes on him； and then fzt！ where is he？ Why； the only
long thing； the only real thing about the whole shadowy business； is
the sense of the lagging dull and hoary lapse of time that has
drifted by since then； a vast； empty level； it seems； with a
formless specter glimpsed fitfully through the smoke and mist that
lie along its remote verge。
Well； we are all getting along here first…rate。 Livy gains strength
daily and sits up a deal； the baby is five weeks old and But no
more of this。 Somebody may be reading this letter eighty years
hence。 And so； my friend （you pitying snob； I mean； who are holding
this yellow paper in your hand in 1960）； save yourself the trouble
of looking further。 I know how pathetically trivial our small
concerns would seem to you； and I will not let your eye profane
them。 No； I keep my news； you keep your compassion。 Suffice it you
to know； scoffer and ribald； that the little child is old and blind
now； and once more tooth less； and the rest of us are shadows these
many； many