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But all that； too； is another story。
CHAPTER XV
COMING TO THEIR OWN
A man with a conscience is often provoking； sometimes impossible。
Persuasion is lost upon him。 He will not get angry； and he looks
at one with such a far…away expression in his face that in striving
to persuade him one feels earthly and even fiendish。 At least this
was my experience with Craig。 He spent a week with me just before
he sailed for the Old Land； for the purpose； as he said； of getting
some of the coal dust and other grime out of him。
He made me angry the last night of his stay； and all the more that
he remained quite sweetly unmoved。 It was a strategic mistake of
mine to tell him how Nelson came home to us； and how Graeme stood
up before the 'Varsity chaps at my supper and made his confession
and confused Rattray's easy…stepping profanity； and started his own
five…year league。 For all this stirred in Craig the hero； and he
was ready for all sorts of heroic nonsense； as I called it。 We
talked of everything but the one thing； and about that we said not
a word till； bending low to poke my fire and to hide my face； I
plunged
'You will see her； of course？'
He made no pretence of not understanding but answered
'Of course。'
'There's really no sense in her staying over there；' I suggested。
'And yet she is a wise woman；' he said； as if carefully considering
the question。
'Heaps of landlords never see their tenants； and they are none the
worse。'
'The landlords？'
'No； the tenants。'
'Probably； having such landlords。'
'And as for the old lady； there must be some one in the connection
to whom it would be a Godsend to care for her。'
'Now； Connor；' he said quietly； 'don't。 We have gone over all
there is to be said。 Nothing new has come。 Don't turn it all up
again。'
Then I played the heathen and raged； as Graeme would have said；
till Craig smiled a little wearily and said
'You exhaust yourself； old chap。 Have a pipe； do'； and after a
pause he added in his own way； 'What would you have？ The path
lies straight from my feet。 Should I quit it？ I could not so
disappoint youand all of them。'
And I knew he was thinking of Graeme and the lads in the mountains
he had taught to be true men。 It did not help my rage； but it
checked my speech； so I smoked in silence till he was moved to say
'And after all； you know； old chap； there are great compensations
for all losses； but for the loss of a good conscience towards God；
what can make up？'
But； all the same； I hoped for some better result from his visit to
Britain。 It seemed to me that something must turn up to change
such an unbearable situation。
The year passed； however； and when I looked into Craig's face again
I knew that nothing had been changed； and that he had come back to
take up again his life alone； more resolutely hopeful than ever。
But the year had left its mark upon him too。 He was a broader and
deeper man。 He had been living and thinking with men of larger
ideas and richer culture； and he was far too quick in sympathy with
life to remain untouched by his surroundings。 He was more tolerant
of opinions other than his own； but more unrelenting in his
fidelity to conscience and more impatient of half…heartedness and
self…indulgence。 He was full of reverence for the great scholars
and the great leaders of men he had come to know。
'Great； noble fellows they are； and extraordinarily modest；' he
said'that is； the really great are modest。 There are plenty of
the other sort； neither great nor modest。 And the books to be
read！ I am quite hopeless about my reading。 It gave me a queer
sensation to shake hands with a man who had written a great book。
To hear him make commonplace remarks； to witness a faltering in
knowledgeone expects these men to know everythingand to
experience respectful kindness at his hands！'
'What of the younger men？' I asked。
'Bright； keen； generous fellows。 In things theoretical； omniscient；
but in things practical； quite helpless。 They toss about great
ideas as the miners lumps of coal。 They can call them by their book
names easily enough； but I often wondered whether they could put
them into English。 Some of them I coveted for the mountains。 Men
with clear heads and big hearts； and built after Sandy M'Naughton's
model。 It does seem a sinful waste of God's good human stuff to see
these fellows potter away their lives among theories living and
dead； and end up by producing a book！ They are all either making or
going to make a book。 A good thing we haven't to read them。 But
here and there among them is some quiet chap who will make a book
that men will tumble over each other to read。'
Then we paused and looked at each other。
'Well？' I said。 He understood me。
'Yes！' he answered slowly； 'doing great work。 Every one worships
her just as we do； and she is making them all do something worth
while； as she used to make us。'
He spoke cheerfully and readily as if he were repeating a lesson
well learned； but he could not humbug me。 I felt the heartache in
the cheerful tone。
'Tell me about her；' I said； for I knew that if he would talk it
would do him good。 And talk he did； often forgetting me； till； as
I listened； I found myself looking again into the fathomless eyes；
and hearing again the heart…searching voice。 I saw her go in and
out of the little red…tiled cottages and down the narrow back lanes
of the village； I heard her voice in a sweet； low song by the bed
of a dying child； or pouring forth floods of music in the great new
hall of the factory town near by。 But I could not see； though he
tried to show me； the stately gracious lady receiving the country
folk in her home。 He did not linger over that scene； but went back
again to the gate…cottage where she had taken him one day to see
Billy Breen's mother。
'I found the old woman knew all about me；' he said； simply enough；
'but there were many things about Billy she had never heard； and I
was glad to put her right on some points； though Mrs。 Mavor would
not hear it。'
He sat silent for a little； looking into the coals； then went on in
a soft； quiet voice
'It brought back the mountains and the old days to hear again
Billy's tones in his mother's voice； and to see her sitting there
in the very dress she wore the night of the League； you remember
some soft stuff with black lace about itand to hear her sing as
she did for Billyah！ ah！' His voice unexpectedly broke； but in a
moment he was master of himself and begged me to forgive his
weakness。 I am afraid I said words that should not be saida
thing I never do； except when suddenly and utterly upset。
'I am getting selfish and weak；' he said； 'I must get to work。 I
am glad to get to work。 There is much to do； and it is worth
while； if only to keep one from getting useless and lazy。'
'Useless and lazy！' I said to myself； thinking of my life beside
his； and trying to get command of my voice； so as not to make quite
a fool of myself。 And for many a day those words goaded me to work
and to the exercise of some mild self…denial。 But more than all
else； after Craig had gone back to the mount