按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃Oh； Mary； my own darling； we are savedbut I'll swear I don't know why
nor how！〃
CHAPTER V
＇Scene…A Roman Caf？＇
One of a group of American gentlemen reads and translates from the weekly
edition of 'Il Slangwhanger di Roma' as follows：
WONDERFUL DISCOVERYSome six months ago Signor John Smitthe； an American
gentleman now some years a resident of Rome； purchased for a trifle a
small piece of ground in the Campagna； just beyond the tomb of the Scipio
family； from the owner； a bankrupt relative of the Princess Borghese。
Mr。 Smitthe afterward went to the Minister of the Public Records and had
the piece of ground transferred to a poor American artist named George
Arnold； explaining that he did it as payment and satisfaction for
pecuniary damage accidentally done by him long since upon property
belonging to Signor Arnold； and further observed that he would make
additional satisfaction by improving the ground for Signor A。； at his own
charge and cost。 Four weeks ago； while making some necessary excavations
upon the property； Signor Smitthe unearthed the most remarkable ancient
statue that has ever bees added to the opulent art treasures of Rome。
It was an exquisite figure of a woman； and though sadly stained by the
soil and the mold of ages； no eye can look unmoved upon its ravishing
beauty。 The nose； the left leg from the knee down； an ear； and also the
toes of the right foot and two fingers of one of the hands were gone；
but otherwise the noble figure was in a remarkable state of preservation。
The government at once took military possession of the statue； and
appointed a commission of art…critics； antiquaries； and cardinal princes
of the church to assess its value and determine the remuneration that
must go to the owner of the ground in which it was found。 The whole
affair was kept a profound secret until last night。 In the mean time the
commission sat with closed doors and deliberated。 Last night they
decided unanimously that the statue is a Venus； and the work of some
unknown but sublimely gifted artist of the third century before Christ。
They consider it the most faultless work of art the world has any
knowledge of。
At midnight they held a final conference and； decided that the Venus was
worth the enormous sum of ten million francs！ In accordance with Roman
law and Roman usage； the government being half…owner in all works of art
found in the Campagna； the State has naught to do but pay five million
francs to Mr。 Arnold and take permanent possession of the beautiful
statue。 This morning the Venus will be removed to the Capitol； there to
remain； and at noon the commission will wait upon Signor Arnold with His
Holiness the Pope's order upon the Treasury for the princely sum of five
million francs is gold！
Chorus of Voices。〃Luck！ It's no name for it！〃
Another Voice。〃 Gentlemen； I propose that we immediately form an
American joint…stock company for the purchase of lands and excavations of
statues here； with proper connections in Wall Street to bull and bear the
stock。〃
All。〃Agreed。〃
CHAPTER VI
＇SceneThe Roman Capitol Ten Years Later。＇
〃Dearest Mary； this is the most celebrated statue in the world。 This is
the renowned 'Capitoline Venus' you've heard so much about。 Here she is
with her little blemishes 'restored' （that is； patched） by the most noted
Roman artistsand the mere fact that they did the humble patching of so
noble a creation will make their names illustrious while the world
stands。 How strange it seems this place！ The day before I last stood
here； ten happy years ago； I wasn't a rich man bless your soul； I hadn't
a cent。 And yet I had a good deal to do with making Rome mistress of
this grandest work of ancient art the world contains。〃
〃The worshiped； the illustrious Capitoline Venusand what a sum she is
valued at！ Ten millions of francs！〃
〃Yesnow she is。〃
〃And oh； Georgy； how divinely beautiful she is！〃
〃Ah； yes but nothing to what she was before that blessed John Smith broke
her leg and battered her nose。 Ingenious Smith！gifted Smith！noble
Smith！ Author of all our bliss！ Hark！ Do you know what that wheeze
means？ Mary； that cub has got the whooping…cough。 Will you never learn
to take care of the children！〃
THE END
The Capitoline Venus is still in the Capitol at Rome； and is still the
most charming and most illustrious work of ancient art the world can
boast of。 But if ever it shall be your fortune to stand before it and go
into the customary ecstasies over it； don't permit this true and secret
history of its origin to mar your blissand when you read about a
gigantic Petrified man being dug up near Syracuse； in the State of New
York； or near any other place； keep your own counseland if the Barnum
that buried him there offers to sell to you at an enormous sum； don't you
buy。 Send him to the Pope！
＇NOTE。The above sketch was written at the time the famous swindle of
the
〃Petrified Giant〃 was the sensation of the day in the United States＇
SPEECH ON ACCIDENT INSURANCE
DELIVERED IN HARTFORD； AT A DINNER TO CORNELIUS WALFORD； OF LONDON
GENTLEMEN： I am glad； indeed； to assist in welcoming the distinguished
guest of this occasion to a city whose fame as an insurance center has
extended to all lands； and given us the name of being a quadruple band of
brothers working sweetly hand in handthe Colt's Arms Company making the
destruction of our race easy and convenient； our life insurance citizens
paying for the victims when they pass away； Mr。 Batterson perpetuating
their memory with his stately monuments； and our fire…insurance comrades
taking care of their hereafter。 I am glad to assist in welcoming our
guest first； because he is an Englishman； and I owe a heavy debt of
hospitality to certain of his fellow…countrymen； and secondly； because he
is in sympathy with insurance and has been the means of making may other
men cast their sympathies in the same direction。
Certainly there is no nobler field for human effort than the insurance
line of businessespecially accident insurance。 Ever since I have been
a director in an accident…insurance company I have felt that I am a
better man。 Life has seemed more precious。 Accidents have assumed a
kindlier aspect。 Distressing special providences have lost half their
horror。 I look upon a cripple now with affectionate interestas an
advertisement。 I do not seem to care for poetry any more。 I do not care
for politicseven agriculture does not excite me。 But to me now there
is a charm about a railway collision that is unspeakable。
There is nothing more beneficent than accident insurance。 I have seen an
entire family lifted out of poverty and into affluence by the simple boon
of a broken leg。 I have had people come to me on crutches； with tears in
their eyes； to bless this beneficent institution。 In all my experience
of life； I have seen nothing so seraphic as the look that comes into a
freshly mutilated man's face when he feels in his vest pocket with his
remaining hand and finds his accident ticket all right。 And I have seen
nothing so sad as the look that came into another splintered customer's