samantha at saratoga-第27章

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ey　realize　that　a　end　must　come　to　it；　and　it　may　be　a　fearful　and　a　shameful　one；　and　if　it　is　a　happiness　that　stops；　it　will　leave　in　the　heart　when　happiness　gets　out；　a　emptiness；　a　holler　place；　where　like　as　not　onhappiness　will　get　in；　and　mebby　stay　there　for　some　time；　gaulin'　and　heart…breakin'　to　the　opposite　pardner　to　see　it　go　on？　If　it　is　indifference；　or　fashion；　or　anything　of　that　sort；　why　it　don't　pay　none　of　the　time；　it　don't　seem　to　me　it　duz；　and　the　end　will　be　emptier　and　hollerer　then　the　beginnin'。　In　the　case　of　my　pardner　it　wuz　fashion；　nothing　but　the　butterfly　of　fashion　he　wuz　after；　to　act　in　a　high…toned；　fashionable　manner；　like　other　fashionable　men。　　And　jest　see　the　end　on't　why　he　had　brought　sufferin'　of　the　deepest　dye　onto　his　companion；　and　what；　what　hed　he　brought　onto　himself　　onto　his　feet？　Oh！　the　agony　of　them　several　moments　while　them　thoughts　was　a　rackin'　at　me。　　The　moments　swelled　out　into　a　half　hour；　it　must　have　been　a　long　half　hour；　before　I　see　far　ahead；　for　the　eyes　of　love　is　keen　…　a　form　a　settin'　on　the　grass　by　the　wayside；　that　I　recognized　as　the　form　of　my　pardner。　　As　we　drew　nearer　we　all　recognized　the　figure　　but　Josiah　Allen　didn't　seem　to　notice　us。　　His　boots　was　off；　and　his　stockin's；　and　even　in　that　first　look　I　could　see　the　agony　that　was　a　rendin'　them　toes　almost　to　burstin'。　　Oh；　how　sorry　I　felt　for　them　toes！　　He　was　a　restin'　in　a　most　dejected　and　melancholy　manner　on　his　hand；　as　if　it　wuz　more　than　sufferin'　that　ailed　him　　he　looked　a　sufferer　from　remorse；　and　regret；　and　also　had　the　air　of　one　whom　mortification　has　stricken。　He　never　seemed　to　sense　a　thing　that　wuz　passin'　by　him；　till　the　driver　pulled　up　his　horses　clost　by　him；　and　then　he　looked　up　and　see　us。　　And　far　be　it　from　me　to　describe　the　way　he　looked　in　his　lowly　place　on　the　grass。　　There　wuz　a　good　stun　by　him　on　which　he　might　have　sot；　but　no；　he　seemed　to　feel　too　mean　to　get　up　onto　that　stun；　grass；　lowly；　unassumin'　grass；　wuz　what　seemed　to　suit　him　best；　and　on　it　he　sot　with　one　of　his　feet　stretched　out　in　front　of　him。　Oh！　the　pitifulness　of　that　look　he　gin　us；　oh！　the　meakinness　of　it。　　And　even；　when　his　eye　fell　on　the　Deacon　a　settin'　by　my　side；　oh！　the　wild　gleam　of　hatred；　and　sullen　anger　that　glowed　within　his　orb；　and　revenge！　　He　looked　at　the　Deacon；　and　then　at　his　boots；　and　I　see　the　wild　thought　wuz　a　enterin'　his　sole；　to　throw　that　boot　at　him。　　But　I　says　out　of　that　buggy　the　very　first　thing　the　words　I　have　so　oft　spoke　to　him　in　hours　of　danger：　〃Joisiah；　be　calm！〃　His　eye　fell　onto　the　peaceful　grass　agin；　and　he　says：　〃Who　hain't　a　bein'　calm？　　I　should　say　I　wuz　calm　enough；　if　that　is　what　you　want。〃　But；　oh；　the　sullenness　of　that　love。　Says　Ezra；　good　man　　he　see　right　through　it　all　in　a　minute；　and　so　did　Druzilla　and　the　Deacon　　says　Ezra；　〃Get　up　on　the　seat　with　the　driver；　Josiah　Allen；　and　drive　back　with　us。〃　〃No；〃　says　Josiah；　〃I　have　no　occasion；　I　am　a　settin'　here；〃　（looking　round　in　perfect　agony）　〃I　am　a　settin'　here　to　admire　the　scenery。〃　Then　I　leaned　over　the　side　of　the　buggy；　and　says　I；　〃Josiah　Allen；　do　you　get　in　and　ride；　it　will　kill　you　to　walk　back；　put　on　your　boots　if　you　can；　and　ride；　seein'　Ezra　is　so　perlite　as　to　ask　you。〃　〃Yes；　I　see　he　is　very　perlite；　I　see　you　have　set　amongst　very　perlite　folks；　Samantha；〃　says　he；　a　glarin'　at　Deacon　Balch　as　if　he　would　rend　him　from　lim　to　lim；　〃But　as　I　said；　I　have　no　occasion　to　ride；　I　took　off　my　boots　and　stockin's　merely　　merely　to　pass　away　time。　　You　know　at　fashionable　resorts；〃　says　he；　〃it　is　sometimes　hard　for　men　to　pass　away　time。〃　Says　I　in　low；　deep　accents；　〃Do　put　on　your　stockin's；　and　your　boots；　if　you　can　get　'em　on；　which　I　doubt；　but　put　your　stockin's　on　this　minute；　and　get　in；　and　ride。〃　〃Yes；〃　says　Ezra；　〃hurry　up　and　get　in；　Josiah　Allen；　it　must　be　dretful　oncomfortabe　a　settin'　down　there　in　the　grass。〃　〃Oh；　no！〃　says　Josiah；　and　he　kinder　whistled　a　few　bars　of　no　tune　that　wuz　ever　heard　on；　or　ever　will　be　heard　on　agin；　so　wild　and　meloncholy　it　wuz　　〃I　sot　down　here　kind　o'　careless。　I　thought　seein'　I　hadn't　much　on　hand　to　do　at　this　time　o'　year；　I　thought　I　would　like　to　look　at　my　feet　　we　hain't　got　a　very　big　lookin'　glass　in　our　room。〃　Oh；　how　incoherent　and　over…crazed　he　was　a　becomin'！　　Who　ever　heard　of　seein'　anybody's　feet　in　a　lookin'　glass　　of　dependin'　on　a　lookin'　glass　for　a　sight　on　'em？　　Oh；　how　I　pitied　that　man！　and　I　bent　down　and　says　to　him　in　soothin'　axents：　〃Josiah　Allen；　to　please　your　pardner　you　put　on　your　stockin's　and　get　into　this　buggy。　　Take　your　boots　in　your　hand；　Josiah；　I　know　you　can't　get　'em　on；　you　have　walked　too　far　for　them　corns。　　Corns　that　are　trampled　on；　Josiah　Allen；　rise　up　and　rends　you；　or　me；　or　anybody　else　who　owns　'em　or　tramples　on　'em。　　It　hain't　your　fault；　nobody　blames　you。　　Now　get　right　in。〃　〃Yes；　do；〃　says　the　Deacon。　Oh！　the　look　that　Josiah　Allen　gin　him。　　I　see　the　voyolence　of　that　look；　that　rested　first　on　the　Deacon；　and　then　on　that；　boot。　And　agin　I　says；　〃Josiah　Allen。〃　　And　agin　the　thought　of　his　own　feerful　acts；　and　my　warnin's　came　over　him；　and　again　mortification　seemed　to　envelop　him　like　a　mantilly；　the　tabs　goin'　down　and　coverin'　his　lims　　and　agin　he　didn't　throw　that　boot。　　Agin　Deacon　Balch　escaped　oninjured；　saved　by　my　voice；　and　Josiah's　inward　conscience；　inside　of　him。　Wall；　suffice　it　to　say；　that　after　a　long　parley；　Josiah　Allen　wuz　a　settin'　on　the　high　seat　with　the　driver；　a　holdin'　his　boots　in　his　hand；　for　truly　no　power　on　earth　could　have　placed　them　boots　on　Josiah　Allen's　feet　in　the　condition　they　then　wuz。　And　so　he　rode　on　howewards；　occasionally　a　lookin'　down　on　the　Deacon　with　looks　that　I　hope　the　recordin'　angel　didn't　photograph；　so　dire；　and　so　revengeful；　and　jealous；　and　　and　everything；　they　wuz。　　And　ever；　after　ketchin'　the　look　in　my　eye；　the　look　in　his'n　would　change　to　a　heart…rendin'　one　of　remorse；　and　sorrow；　and　shame　for　what　he　had　done。　　And　the　Deacon；　wantin'　to　be　dretful　perlite　to　him；　would　ask　him　questions；　and　I　could　see　the　side　of　Josiah's　face；　all　glarin'　like　a　hyena　at　the　sound　of　his　voice；　and　then　he　would　turn　round　and　ossume　a　perlite　genteel　look　as　he　answered　him；　and　then　he　glare　at　me　in　a　mad　way　every　time　I　spoke　to　the　Deacon；　and　then　his　mad　look　would　change；　even　to　one　of　shame　and　meakinness。　　And　he　in　his　stockin'　feet；　and　a　pertendin'　that　he　didn't　put　his　boots　on；　because　it　wuzn't　wuth　while　to　put　'em　on　agin　so　near　bed…time。　　And　he　that　sot　out　that　afternoon　a　feelin'　so　haughty；　and　lookin'　down　on　Ezra　and　Druzilla；　and　bein'　brung　back　by　'em；　in　that　condition　　and　bein'　goured　all　the　time　by　thoughts　of　the　ignominious　way　his　flirtin'　had　ended；　by　her　droppin'　him　by　the　side　of　the　road；　like　a　weed　she　had　trampled　on　too　hardly。　　And　a　bein'　gourded　deeper　than　all　the　rest　of　his　agonies；　by　a　senseless　jealousy　of　Deacon　Balch　　and　a　thinkin'　for　the　first　time　in　his　life；　what　it　would　be；　if　her　affections；　that　had　been　like　a　divine　beacon　to　him　all　his　life；　if　that　flame　should　ever　go　out；　or　ever　flicke