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y livery in the castle。 With this intent I availed myself of the first moment I was secure from interruption； to summon him to my presence。 He threw himself at my feet； imploring of me to pardon his audacity。 〃Alas； madam！〃 said he； 〃I am more unfortunate than guilty。 I saw you walking some time since； and I could obtain no rest or peace till I was fortunate enough to obtain admission to your establishment。 Punish me for my temerity if you will； expel me from the castle； have me confined in a prison； I deserve it all； but； voluntarily； I cannot leave this house； and if you will only permit my stay； I solemnly vow you shall see nothing in my conduct but the zeal of an attached and respectful servant。〃
I was weak enough to pardon Noel and shortly after to raise him to the rank of ； which brought him infinitely too much about me。
Yes； my friend； the woman is； after all attempts to excuse it； blamable for bestowing her affection on one below herself in the scale of society。 Nature herself appears to have planted in our bosoms a kind of instinct； which warns us from it； and a prejudice against all those who so degrade themselves。 It is different with men； they can confer rank and elevation on the beloved object。 A woman should always have reason to look up to and feel proud of the man to whom she consigns her heart； this species of vanity is mixed with the noblest love； and the woman who can overlook it； acts from passion of the lowest； basest kind。 How easy is it to reason！ Alas！ Why have I not always acted as well as I speak。
I was thus again a second time enthralled by Noel； and much more so； too； than I will now tell you。 My faithful Henriette； whose devoted attachment for me kept her ever watchful of my safety and reputation； was thunderstruck at perceiving what I vainly strove to conceal from her； and； as she has since told me； was long in deciding whether to speak to me of the affair； when an unexpected incident arose； which determined her； at every risk of my displeasure； to use her endeavors to put an end to so disgraceful a connexion； which must infallibly have ended in my disgrace。
One night； or rather midnight； all was at rest in the castle； and I was sleeping peacefully in the arms of Noel； when all at once I was awakened by the sudden opening of an outer door； which announced to me the approach of the king； who had merely one more door to open ere he would be in my apartment。 Noel； terrified； leaped quickly out of bed； and ran to seek refuge in a small chamber adjoining where Henriette slept。 Happily she was yet awake； and； by the light of a night…lamp or recognized Noel； who； with clasped hands； conjured her to take pity upon him。 Henriette saw the danger； and putting out her hand； seized him； and drawing him rapidly towards her； made him lie down beside her。 Noel； struck with her goodness； was preparing to offer her the same marks of his gratitude he had shown me of his respect； but repulsing him； she said in a low voice； 〃Wretch； think not it is on your account I thus expose my reputation； 'tis to save that of my beloved mistress； either conduct yourself with silent respect or you are lost。〃 At this threat Noel 's courage melted away and he lay still as a frightened child。 〃Listen；〃 said Henriette； 〃if you do not quit this place to…morrow at break of day； without seeking to see madame again； I will denounce you to the king； who will inflict upon you the most dreadful punishment。〃
Whilst these things were passing in the chamber of Henriette； I did not feel perfectly at ease on my side； and many were the wise reflections I made upon my folly； as well as the promises I gave never again to expose myself to such imminent danger。 Nor did my terrors abate till after the king had quitted me。 At the sound of my bell Henriette hastened to my bed…side。
〃My good Henriette；〃 said I to her； trembling from head to foot； 〃what a night of anxiety have I passed； I must indeed confess〃
〃Fear not； my beloved mistress；〃 replied she； 〃I will watch over your safety； and trust to be enabled fully to provide for it。〃
I durst not then ask for any further explanation of her words； for such was the ascendancy her good and steady conduct had given her over me； that she would certainly have blamed me for my glaring imprudence。 I pressed her hand in mute thankfulness； she comprehended my silence and left me to myself。
At the end of some days； seeing nothing of Noel； I ventured to question her as to his fate： she then related to me all you have been told； and added； that the day following this shameful and unfortunate night she had lost no time in apprizing the comte Jean of all that had occurred； who had quickly despatched Noel out of the kingdom； furnishing him with a purse of ten thousand livres to defray his travelling expenses。 Such was the fortunate termination of this disgraceful affair； and now； having completed my painful confession； I will change the subject to others doubtless more calculated to interest you than the recital of such lapses。
CHAPTER XXV
Madame du Barry succeeds in alienating Louis XV from the due de ChoiseulLetter from madame de GrammontLouis XVThe chancellor and the countessLouis XV and the abbe de la VilleThe marechale de Mirepoix and madame du Barry
Matters now assumed an air of importance。 My struggle with the des Choiseuls had become a deadly war； which could only be terminated either by his downfall or my dismissal from court； this latter measure was not very probable； an old man is not easily detached from a woman whom he loves； and each day only added to my ascendancy over the mind of the king。 It is true； that the same force of habit which enchained Louis XV to me bound him likewise to M。 de Choiseul。 The idea of change terrified him； and so great was his dread of fresh faces； that he would have preferred dying with his old minister； to creating a younger one who might witness his end。 Happily the duke himself brought on the crisis of his fate； his power was cramped on all sides； yet； resolved not to lay it down till the last extremity； he sought to stay his failing credit with the rising influence of the dauphiness。 His enemies were not slow in pointing out to the king his minister's frequent visits and great assiduities to a foreign princess； and enlarged upon the fatal effects this new alliance might produce to the monarchy。
Meanwhile the chancellor； threatened by the parliaments； saw only one way of averting the storm which was about to burst on his head。 This was to introduce into the cabinet persons entirely devoted to himself； but to accomplish his purpose； it was necessary to exclude the duc de Choiseul and his party。 M。 de Maupeou came to me in December； and after having gently scolded me for what he termed my carelessness； he showed me a letter from the duchesse de Grammont； which； he said； would wonderfully aid our plans。 This letter was written to one of the presidents of the parliament of Toulous； M。 de 。 I cannot give you his name； for； although I have preserved the original of the letter； I have mislaid the envelope on which the address was written。 I here give you a copy of this curious and important