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tween you and me； there can be no medium。 Henceforward； you may consider me only in the light of your mortal enemy。〃
He wished to insist upon my hearing him； but I exclaimed； 〃Quit the room； I wish neither to see nor hear more of you。〃
The abbe saw that it was necessary to obey； he therefore bowed and retired。 Two hours afterwards he sent me the sum which I had asked of him for my brother…in…law； accompanied by a most humble and contrite letter。 Certainly； had I only listened to the inspiration of my heart； I should have sent back the money without touching it； and the epistle without reading it； but my heroism did not suit comte Jean； who chanced to be present。 'Take it； take it；〃 cried he； 〃the only way of punishing such a miscreant； is to break his purse…strings。 He would； indeed； have the laugh on his side were your fit of anger to change into a fit of generosity； besides； this may be the last we shall ever see。〃
My brother…in…law and the comptroller…general were an excellent pair。 I treated the latter with silent contempt； not even replying to his letter； this was； however； my first and only stroke of vengeance； the disastrous events which followed did not permit me to pursue my plans for revenging this treacherous and contemptible conduct。
This quarrel； and the defection of the abbe； had the effect of rendering me much indisposed。 My illness was attributed to an excess of sorrow for the dangerous condition of his majesty； nor did I contradict the report； for； in truth； I did most sincerely lament the malady with which the king was suffering； and my regrets arose far more from a feeling of gratitude and esteem； than any self…interested calculations。 It was； therefore； in no very excellent humour that I saw the prince de Soubise enter my apartment。 You may remember that this nobleman had quitted Trianon without saying one word to me； and since that period I had never seen him； although he had punctually made his inquiries after the king。 When I perceived him； I could not help inquiring； with something of a sarcastic expression； whether his majesty had been pronounced convalescent？ The prince comprehended the bitterness of the question。
〃You are severe； madam；〃 replied he； 〃yet I can solemnly affirm that circumstances； and not inclination； have kept me from your presence until now。〃
〃May I believe you？〃 said I。 〃Are you quite sure you have not been imitating the policy of the abbe Terray？〃 Upon which I related the behaviour of the comptroller…general。
〃Priest…like；〃 answered the prince。
〃And is it not …like also？〃 inquired I。
〃Perhaps it may；〃 rejoined M。 de Soubise； 〃for the two species of priest and courtier so nearly resemble each other in many particulars； as to have become well nigh amalgamated into one； but I claim your indulgence to make me an exception to the general rule； and to class me as a soldier and a man of honour； besides which； you are too lovely ever to be forgotten； and your past goodness to me will ensure you my services let what may occur。〃
〃Well； then；〃 said I； extending my hand； 〃as a reward for your candour； which I receive as genuine； I will request your forgiveness for any annoyance I may have caused you on your family's account； I ought never to have resented any thing they have done。 My presence here could not fail of being highly disagreeable to them； however； they will soon be relieved from that source of uneasiness； my stay draws rapidly to a close。〃
The prince de Soubise； with a ready grace and obliging manner； for which I shall ever remember him with a grateful recollection； endeavoured to dispel my apprehensions as to the state of the king； but whilst I acknowledged the kindness of his intention； my heart refused all comfort in a case； which I too well knew was utterly hopeless。
The state of affairs was now so manifest； that already an obsequious crowd beseiged the doors of the dauphin； anxious to be first in the demonstration of their adoration of the rising sun； but the young prince； aided by the clear…minded advice of his august spouse； refused； with admirable prudence； to receive such premature homage； and since he was interdicted by the physicians from visiting the royal invalid； he confined himself within his apartments； admitting no person but a select few who possessed his confidence。
The disappointed satellites； frustrated in their endeavours to in gratiate themselves with the dauphin； turned their thoughts towards the comte de Provence； imagining that this prince； spite of his extreme youth； might have considerable influence over the mind of his brother； the dauphin。 But this idea； however plausible； was by no means correct； it was too much the interest of ambitious and mercenary men to create a want of harmony between the royal pair； and up to the moment in which I am writing； no attempts have been made to produce a kinder and more fraternal feeling between two such near relatives。
I quitted the king as little as possible； watching with deep concern the progress of a malady； the nature of which was a secret to himself alone； for； in the dread of incurring my displeasure； no person had ventured to acquaint him with the awful fact。 By the aid of the grand almoner； I had triumphed over the wishes of the archbishop of Paris； and those of the confessor。 The princes and princesses awaited the event； all was calm composure； when； all at once； the barriers I had been so carefully erecting were crushed beneath my feet； at one sudden and unexpected blow。
The king was by no means easy in his own mind with regard to his illness。 The many messages that were continually whispered around him； the remedies administered； and； above all； the absence of his grandsons； all convinced him that something of a very unusual and alarming nature was progressing。 His own feelings might； likewise； well assure him that he was attacked by an illness of no ordinary nature。 Tortured beyond further bearing by the suggestions of his fancy； Louis XV at length resolved to ascertain the truth； and； with this intent； closely questioned Bordeu and Lemonnier； who did their best to deceive him。 Still； dissatisfied with their evasive replies； he watched an opportunity； when they were both absent； to desire La Martiniere would at once explain the true malady with which he was then suffering。 La Martiniere puzzled and confused； could only exclaim；
〃I entreat of you； sire； not to fatigue yourself with conversation； remember how strongly you have been forbidden all exertion。〃
〃I am no child； La Martiniere；〃 cried Louis XV； his cheeks glowing with increased fire； 〃and I insist upon being made acquainted with the precise nature of my present illness。 You have always served me loyally and faithfully； and from you I expect to receive that candid statement every one about me seems bent upon concealing。〃
〃Endeavour to get some sleep； sire；〃 rejoined La Martiniere； 〃and do not exhaust yourself by speaking at present。〃
〃La Martiniere； you irritate me beyond all endurance。 If you love me； speak out； I conjure you； and tell me； frankly； the name of my complaint。〃
〃Do you insist upon it； sire？〃
〃I do； my friend； I do。〃
〃Then； si