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in having two votes to dispose of among fifty people？'
'Not to me； I acknowledge；' replied the lady。 'It bores one。
Besides； one can't oblige one's acquaintance。 But you are the Poor
Man's Friend； you know； Sir Joseph。 You think otherwise。'
'I AM the Poor Man's Friend；' observed Sir Joseph； glancing at the
poor man present。 'As such I may be taunted。 As such I have been
taunted。 But I ask no other title。'
'Bless him for a noble gentleman！' thought Trotty。
'I don't agree with Cute here； for instance；' said Sir Joseph；
holding out the letter。 'I don't agree with the Filer party。 I
don't agree with any party。 My friend the Poor Man； has no
business with anything of that sort； and nothing of that sort has
any business with him。 My friend the Poor Man； in my district； is
my business。 No man or body of men has any right to interfere
between my friend and me。 That is the ground I take。 I assume a …
a paternal character towards my friend。 I say； 〃My good fellow； I
will treat you paternally。〃'
Toby listened with great gravity； and began to feel more
comfortable。
'Your only business； my good fellow；' pursued Sir Joseph； looking
abstractedly at Toby； 'your only business in life is with me。 You
needn't trouble yourself to think about anything。 I will think for
you； I know what is good for you； I am your perpetual parent。 Such
is the dispensation of an all…wise Providence！ Now； the design of
your creation is … not that you should swill； and guzzle； and
associate your enjoyments； brutally； with food； Toby thought
remorsefully of the tripe； 'but that you should feel the Dignity of
Labour。 Go forth erect into the cheerful morning air； and … and
stop there。 Live hard and temperately； be respectful； exercise
your self…denial； bring up your family on next to nothing； pay your
rent as regularly as the clock strikes； be punctual in your
dealings （I set you a good example； you will find Mr。 Fish； my
confidential secretary； with a cash…box before him at all times）；
and you may trust to me to be your Friend and Father。'
'Nice children； indeed； Sir Joseph！' said the lady； with a shudder。
'Rheumatisms； and fevers； and crooked legs； and asthmas； and all
kinds of horrors！'
'My lady；' returned Sir Joseph； with solemnity； 'not the less am I
the Poor Man's Friend and Father。 Not the less shall he receive
encouragement at my hands。 Every quarter…day he will be put in
communication with Mr。 Fish。 Every New Year's Day； myself and
friends will drink his health。 Once every year； myself and friends
will address him with the deepest feeling。 Once in his life； he
may even perhaps receive； in public； in the presence of the gentry；
a Trifle from a Friend。 And when； upheld no more by these
stimulants； and the Dignity of Labour； he sinks into his
comfortable grave； then； my lady' … here Sir Joseph blew his nose …
'I will be a Friend and a Father … on the same terms … to his
children。'
Toby was greatly moved。
'O！ You have a thankful family； Sir Joseph！' cried his wife。
'My lady；' said Sir Joseph； quite majestically； 'Ingratitude is
known to be the sin of that class。 I expect no other return。'
'Ah！ Born bad！' thought Toby。 'Nothing melts us。'
'What man can do； I do；' pursued Sir Joseph。 'I do my duty as the
Poor Man's Friend and Father； and I endeavour to educate his mind；
by inculcating on all occasions the one great moral lesson which
that class requires。 That is； entire Dependence on myself。 They
have no business whatever with … with themselves。 If wicked and
designing persons tell them otherwise； and they become impatient
and discontented； and are guilty of insubordinate conduct and
black…hearted ingratitude； which is undoubtedly the case； I am
their Friend and Father still。 It is so Ordained。 It is in the
nature of things。'
With that great sentiment； he opened the Alderman's letter； and
read it。
'Very polite and attentive； I am sure！' exclaimed Sir Joseph。 'My
lady； the Alderman is so obliging as to remind me that he has had
〃the distinguished honour〃 … he is very good … of meeting me at the
house of our mutual friend Deedles； the banker； and he does me the
favour to inquire whether it will be agreeable to me to have Will
Fern put down。'
'MOST agreeable！' replied my Lady Bowley。 'The worst man among
them！ He has been committing a robbery； I hope？'
'Why no；' said Sir Joseph'； referring to the letter。 'Not quite。
Very near。 Not quite。 He came up to London； it seems； to look for
employment （trying to better himself … that's his story）； and being
found at night asleep in a shed； was taken into custody； and
carried next morning before the Alderman。 The Alderman observes
（very properly） that he is determined to put this sort of thing
down； and that if it will be agreeable to me to have Will Fern put
down； he will be happy to begin with him。'
'Let him be made an example of； by all means；' returned the lady。
'Last winter； when I introduced pinking and eyelet…holing among the
men and boys in the village； as a nice evening employment； and had
the lines；
O let us love our occupations；
Bless the squire and his relations；
Live upon our daily rations；
And always know our proper stations；
set to music on the new system； for them to sing the while； this
very Fern … I see him now … touched that hat of his； and said； 〃I
humbly ask your pardon； my lady； but AN'T I something different
from a great girl？〃 I expected it； of course； who can expect
anything but insolence and ingratitude from that class of people！
That is not to the purpose； however。 Sir Joseph！ Make an example
of him！'
'Hem！' coughed Sir Joseph。 'Mr。 Fish； if you'll have the goodness
to attend … '
Mr。 Fish immediately seized his pen； and wrote from Sir Joseph's
dictation。
'Private。 My dear Sir。 I am very much indebted to you for your
courtesy in the matter of the man William Fern； of whom； I regret
to add； I can say nothing favourable。 I have uniformly considered
myself in the light of his Friend and Father； but have been repaid
（a common case； I grieve to say） with ingratitude； and constant
opposition to my plans。 He is a turbulent and rebellious spirit。
His character will not bear investigation。 Nothing will persuade
him to be happy when he might。 Under these circumstances； it
appears to me； I own； that when he comes before you again （as you
informed me he promised to do to…morrow； pending your inquiries；
and I think he may be so far relied upon）； his committal for some
short term as a Vagabond； would be a service to society； and would
be a salutary example in a country where … for the sake of those
who are； through good and evil report； the Friends and Fathers of
the Poor； as well as with a view to that； generally speaking；
misguided class themselves … examples are greatly needed。 And I
am；' and so forth。
'It appears；' remarked Sir Joseph when he had signed this letter；
and Mr。 Fish was sealing it； 'as if this were Ordained： really。
At the close of the year； I wind up my account and strike my
balance；