按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
not leave him； and was obliged to apply every restorative within reach
before she could bring him back to a state of tolerable comfort。
The next minute her work was nearly undone； when Anne came in to ask
for the letters for the post。 'Shall I send yours？' asked Amy。
He muttered an assent。 But when she looked back to him after speaking
to Anne； she saw a tremulous； almost convulsed working of the closed
eyes and mouth； while the thin hands were clenched together with a
force contrasting with the helpless manner in which they had hung a
moment before。 She guessed at the intensity of anguish it mast cost a
temper so proud； a heart of so strong a mould； and feelings so deep； to
take the first irrevocable step in self…humiliation； giving up into the
hands of others the engagement that had hitherto been the cherished
treasure of his life； and above all； in exposing Laura to bear the
brunt of the penalty of the fault into which he had led her。 'Oh； for
Guy to comfort him；' thought she； feeling herself entirely incompetent；
dreading to intrude on his feelings； yet thinking it unkind to go away
without one sympathizing word when he was in such distress。
'You will be glad； in time；' at last she said。 He made no answer。
She held the stimulants to him again； and tried to arrange him more
comfortably。
'Thank you；' at last he said。 'How is Guy？'
'He has just had another nice quiet sleep； and is quite refreshed。'
'That is a blessing； at least。 But does not he want you？ I have been
keeping you a long time？'
'Thank you； as he is awake； I should like to go back。 You are better
now。'
'Yes； while I don't move。'
'Don't try。 I'll send Arnaud； and as soon as you can； you had better
go to bed again。'
Guy was still awake； and able to hear what she had to tell him about
Philip。
'Poor fellow！' said he。 'We must try to soften it。'
'Shall I write？' said Amy。 'Mamma will be pleased to hear of his
having told you； and they must be sorry for him； when they hear how
much the letter cost him。'
'Ah！ they will not guess at half his sorrow。'
'I will write to papa； and send it after the other letters； so that he
may read it before he hears of Philip's。'
'Poor Laura！' said Guy。 'Could not you write a note to her too？ I
want her to be told that I am very sorry； if I ever gave her pain by
speaking thoughtlessly of him。'
'Nay；' said Amy； smiling； 'you have not much to reproach yourself with
in that way。 It was I that always abused him。'
'You can never do so again '
'No； I don't think I can； now I have seen his sorrow。'
Amabel was quite in spirits； as she brought her writing to his bed…
side； and read her sentences to him as she composed the letter to her
father； while he suggested and approved。 It was a treat indeed to have
him able to consult with her once more； and he looked so much relieved
and so much better； that she felt as if it was the beginning of real
improvement； though still his pulse was fast； and the fever； though
lessened； was not gone。
The letter was almost as much his as her own； and he ended his
dictation thus： 'Say that I am sure that if I get better we may make
arrangements for their marriage。'
Then； as Amy was finishing the letter with her hopes of his amendment；
he added； speaking to her； and not dictating 'If not；'she shrank
and shivered； but did not exclaim； for he looked so calm and happy that
she did not like to interrupt him 'If not； you know； it will be very
easy to put the money matters to rights； whatever may happen。'
CHAPTER 34
Sir；
It is your fault I have loved Posthumus；
You bred him as my playfellow； and he is
A man worth any woman； over…buys me
Almost the sum he pays。CYMBELINE
The first tidings of Philip's illness arrived at Hollywell one morning
at breakfast； and were thus announced by Charles
'There！ So he has been and gone and done it。'
'What？ Who？ Not Guy？'
'Here has the Captain gone and caught a regular bad fever； in some
malaria hole； delirious； and all that sort of thing； and of course our
wise brother and sister must needs go and nurse him； by way of a pretty
little interlude in their wedding tour！'
Laura's voice alone was unheard in the chorus of inquiry。 She sat
cold； stiff； and silent； devouring with her ears each reply； that fell
like a death…blow； while she was mechanically continuing the
occupations of breakfast。 When all was told； she hurried to her own
room； but the want of sympathy was becoming intolerable。 If Amabel had
been at home； she must have told her all。 There was no one else； and
the misery to be endured in silence was dreadful。 Her dearesther
whole joy and hopesuffering； dying； and to hear all round her
speaking of him with kindness； indeed； but what to her seemed
indifference； blaming him for wilfulness； saying he had drawn it on
himself；it seemed to drive her wild。 She conjured up pictures of his
sufferings； and dreaded Guy's inexperience； the want of medical advice；
imagining everything that was terrible。 Her idol； to whom her whole
soul was devoted； was passing from her； and no one pitied her； while
the latent consciousness of disobedience debarred her from gaining
solace from the only true source。 All was blank desolationa； wild
agony； untempered by resignation； uncheered by prayer； for though she
did pray； it was without trust； without hope； while her wretchedness
was rendered more overwhelming by her efforts to conceal it。 These
were so far ineffectual that no one could help perceiving that she was
extremely unhappy； but then all the family knew she was very fond of
Philip； and neither her mother nor brother could be surprised at her
distress； though it certainly appeared to them excessive。 Mrs。
Edmonstone was very sorry for her； and very affectionate and
considerate； but Laura was too much absorbed； in her own feelings to
perceive or to be grateful for her kindness； and as each day brought a
no better report； her despair became so engrossing that she could not
attempt any employment。 She wandered in the garden； sat in dreamy fits
of silence in the house； and at last； after receiving one of the worst
accounts； sat up in her dressing…gown the whole of one night； in one
dull； heavy； motionless trance of misery。
She recollected that she must act her part； dressed in the morning and
came down； but her looks were ghastly； she tasted no food； and as soon
as possible left the breakfast…room。 Her mother was going in quest of
her when old nurse came with an anxious face to say；'Ma'am； I am
afraid Miss Edmonstone must be very ill； or something。 Do you know；
ma'am； her bed has not been slept in all night？'
'You don't say so； nurse！'
'Yes； ma'am； Jane told me so； and I went to look myself。 Poor child；
she is half distracte