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melancholy in his long task of caring for her。 He was a thin； dark
man； with sad eyes； kind； I think； but silent and unhappy。 Next to
my mother； I believe he loved me better than anything on earth； for
he took immense pains and trouble in teaching me； and what he
taught me I have never forgotten。 Perhaps it was his only
amusement； and that may be the reason why I had no nursery
governess or teacher of any kind while he lived。
I used to be taken to see my mother every day； and sometimes twice
a day； for an hour at a time。 Then I sat upon a little stool near
her feet； and she would ask me what I had been doing； and what I
wanted to do。 I dare say she saw already the seeds of a profound
melancholy in my nature； for she looked at me always with a sad
smile； and kissed me with a sigh when I was taken away。
One night； when I was just six years old； I lay awake in the
nursery。 The door was not quite shut； and the Welsh nurse was
sitting sewing in the next room。 Suddenly I heard her groan； and
say in a strange voice； 〃Onetwoonetwo！〃 I was frightened；
and I jumped up and ran to the door； barefooted as I was。
〃What is it； Judith？〃 I cried； clinging to her skirts。 I can
remember the look in her strange dark eyes as she answered：
〃Onetwo leaden coffins； fallen from the ceiling！〃 she crooned；
working herself in her chair。 〃Onetwoa light coffin and a
heavy coffin； falling to the floor！〃
Then she seemed to notice me； and she took me back to bed and sang
me to sleep with a queer old Welsh song。
I do not know how it was； but the impression got hold of me that
she had meant that my father and mother were going to die very
soon。 They died in the very room where she had been sitting that
night。 It was a great room； my day nursery； full of sun when there
was any； and when the days were dark it was the most cheerful place
in the house。 My mother grew rapidly worse； and I was transferred
to another part of the building to make place for her。 They
thought my nursery was gayer for her； I suppose； but she could not
live。 She was beautiful when she was dead； and I cried bitterly。
The light one； the light onethe heavy one to come；〃 crooned the
Welshwoman。 And she was right。 My father took the room after my
mother was gone； and day by day he grew thinner and paler and
sadder。
〃The heavy one； the heavy oneall of lead；〃 moaned my nurse； one
night in December； standing still； just as she was going to take
away the light after putting me to bed。 Then she took me up again
and wrapped me in a little gown； and led me away to my father's
room。 She knocked； but no one answered。 She opened the door； and
we found him in his easy chair before the fire； very white； quite
dead。
So I was alone with the Welshwoman till strange people came； and
relations whom I had never seen； and then I heard them saying that
I must be taken away to some more cheerful place。 They were kind
people； and I will not believe that they were kind only because I
was to be very rich when I grew to be a man。 The world never
seemed to be a very bad place to me； nor all the people to be
miserable sinners； even when I was most melancholy。 I do not
remember that anyone ever did me any great injustice； nor that I
was ever oppressed or ill treated in any way； even by the boys at
school。 I was sad； I suppose； because my childhood was so gloomy；
and； later； because I was unlucky in everything I undertook； till I
finally believed I was pursued by fate； and I used to dream that
the old Welsh nurse and the Woman of the Water between them had
vowed to pursue me to my end。 But my natural disposition should
have been cheerful； as I have often thought。
Among the lads of my age I was never last； or even among the last；
in anything； but I was never first。 If I trained for a race； I was
sure to sprain my ankle on the day when I was to run。 If I pulled
an oar with others； my oar was sure to break。 If I competed for a
prize； some unforeseen accident prevented my winning it at the last
moment。 Nothing to which I put my hand succeeded； and I got the
reputation of being unlucky； until my companions felt it was always
safe to bet against me； no matter what the appearances might be。 I
became discouraged and listless in everything。 I gave up the idea
of competing for any distinction at the University； comforting
myself with the thought that I could not fail in the examination
for the ordinary degree。 The day before the examination began I
fell ill； and when at last I recovered； after a narrow escape from
death； I turned my back upon Oxford； and went down alone to visit
the old place where I had been born； feeble in health and
profoundly disgusted and discouraged。 I was twenty…one years of
age； master of myself and of my fortune； but so deeply had the long
chain of small unlucky circumstances affected me that I thought
seriously of shutting myself up from the world to live the life of
a hermit and to die as soon as possible。 Death seemed the only
cheerful possibility in my existence； and my thoughts soon dwelt
upon it altogether。
I had never shown any wish to return to my own home since I had
been taken away as a little boy； and no one had ever pressed me to
do so。 The place had been kept in order after a fashion； and did
not seem to have suffered during the fifteen years or more of my
absence。 Nothing earthly could affect those old gray walls that
had fought the elements for so many centuries。 The garden was more
wild than I remembered it； the marble causeways about the pools
looked more yellow and damp than of old； and the whole place at
first looked smaller。 It was not until I had wandered about the
house and grounds for many hours that I realized the huge size of
the home where I was to live in solitude。 Then I began to delight
in it； and my resolution to live alone grew stronger。
The people had turned out to welcome me； of course； and I tried to
recognize the changed faces of the old gardener and the old
housekeeper； and to call them by name。 My old nurse I knew at
once。 She had grown very gray since she heard the coffins fall in
the nursery fifteen years before； but her strange eyes were the
same； and the look in them woke all my old memories。 She went over
the house with me。
〃And how is the Woman of the Water？〃 I asked； trying to laugh a
little。 〃Does she still play in the moonlight？〃
〃She is hungry；〃 answered the Welshwoman； in a low voice。
〃Hungry？ Then we will feed her。〃 I laughed。 But old Judith
turned very pale； and looked at me strangely。
〃Feed her？ Ayeyou will feed her well；〃 she muttered； glancing
behind her at the ancient housekeeper； who tottered after us with
feeble steps through the halls and passages。
I did not think much of her words。 She had always talked oddly； as
Welshwomen will； and though I was very melancholy I am sure I was
not superstitious； and I was certa