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good…night； and went on my way laughing； to show my light heart。
Yet； as I looked back in the dark corridor； and saw the friendly
door still ajar； the yellow bar of light still crossing from wall
to wall； the sweet； kind face still peering after me from amidst
its clustering curls； I felt a thrill of sympathy； a wish to
return； a yearning after human love and companionship。 False shame
was strongest； and conquered。 I waved a gay adieu。 I turned the
corner； and peeping over my shoulder； I saw the door close； the bar
of yellow light was there no longer in the darkness of the passage。
I thought at that instant that I heard a heavy sigh。 I looked
sharply round。 No one was there。 No door was open； yet I fancied；
and fancied with a wonderful vividness； that I did hear an actual
sigh breathed not far off； and plainly distinguishable from the
groan of the sycamore branches as the wind tossed them to and fro
in the outer blackness。 If ever a mortal's good angel had cause to
sigh for sorrow； not sin； mine had cause to mourn that night。 But
imagination plays us strange tricks and my nervous system was not
over…composed or very fitted for judicial analysis。 I had to go
through the picture…gallery。 I had never entered this apartment by
candle…light before and I was struck by the gloomy array of the
tall portraits； gazing moodily from the canvas on the lozenge…paned
or painted windows； which rattled to the blast as it swept howling
by。 Many of the faces looked stern； and very different from their
daylight expression。 In others a furtive； flickering smile seemed
to mock me as my candle illumined them； and in all； the eyes； as
usual with artistic portraits； seemed to follow my motions with a
scrutiny and an interest the more marked for the apathetic
immovability of the other features。 I felt ill at ease under this
stony gaze； though conscious how absurd were my apprehensions； and
I called up a smile and an air of mirth； more as if acting a part
under the eyes of human beings than of their mere shadows on the
wall。 I even laughed as I confronted them。 No echo had my short…
lived laughter but from the hollow armor and arching roof； and I
continued on my way in silence。
By a sudden and not uncommon revulsion of feeling I shook off my
aimless terrors； blushed at my weakness； and sought my chamber only
too glad that I had been the only witness of my late tremors。 As I
entered my chamber I thought I heard something stir in the
neglected lumber…room； which was the only neighboring apartment。
But I was determined to have no more panics； and resolutely shut my
eyes to this slight and transient noise； which had nothing
unnatural in it； for surely； between rats and wind； an old manor…
house on a stormy night needs no sprites to disturb it。 So I
entered my room； and rang for my maid。 As I did so I looked around
me； and a most unaccountable repugnance to my temporary abode came
over me； in spite of my efforts。 It was no more to be shaken off
than a chill is to be shaken off when we enter some damp cave。
And； rely upon it； the feeling of dislike and apprehension with
which we regard； at first sight； certain places and people； was not
implanted in us without some wholesome purpose。 I grant it is
irrationalmere animal instinctbut is not instinct God's gift；
and is it for us to despise it？ It is by instinct that children
know their friends from their enemiesthat they distinguish with
such unerring accuracy between those who like them and those who
only flatter and hate them。 Dogs do the same； they will fawn on
one person； they slink snarling from another。 Show me a man whom
children and dogs shrink from； and I will show you a false； bad
manlies on his lips； and murder at his heart。 No； let none
despise the heaven…sent gift of innate antipathy； which makes the
horse quail when the lion crouches in the thicketwhich makes the
cattle scent the shambles from afar； and low in terror and disgust
as their nostrils snuff the blood…polluted air。 I felt this
antipathy strongly as I looked around me in my new sleeping…room；
and yet I could find no reasonable pretext for my dislike。 A very
good room it was； after all； now that the green damask curtains
were drawn； the fire burning bright and clear； candles burning on
the mantel…piece； and the various familiar articles of toilet
arranged as usual。 The bed； too； looked peaceful and invitinga
pretty little white bed； not at all the gaunt funereal sort of
couch which haunted apartments generally contain。
My maid entered； and assisted me to lay aside the dress and
ornaments I had worn； and arranged my hair； as usual； prattling the
while； in Abigail fashion。 I seldom cared to converse with
servants； but on that night a sort of dread of being left alonea
longing to keep some human being near me possessed meand I
encouraged the girl to gossip； so that her duties took her half an
hour longer to get through than usual。 At last； however； she had
done all that could be done； and all my questions were answered；
and my orders for the morrow reiterated and vowed obedience to； and
the clock on the turret struck one。 Then Mary； yawning a little；
asked if I wanted anything more； and I was obliged to answer no；
for very shame's sake； and she went。 The shutting of the door；
gently as it was closed； affected me unpleasantly。 I took a
dislike to the curtains； the tapestry； the dingy pictures
everything。 I hated the room。 I felt a temptation to put on a
cloak； run； half…dressed； to my sisters' chamber； and say I had
changed my mind and come for shelter。 But they must be asleep； I
thought； and I could not be so unkind as to wake them。 I said my
prayers with unusual earnestness and a heavy heart。 I extinguished
the candles； and was just about to lay my head on my pillow； when
the idea seized me that I would fasten the door。 The candles were
extinguished； but the firelight was amply sufficient to guide me。
I gained the door。 There was a lock； but it was rusty or hampered；
my utmost strength could not turn the key。 The bolt was broken and
worthless。 Balked of my intention； I consoled myself by
remembering that I had never had need of fastenings yet； and
returned to my bed。 I lay awake for a good while； watching the red
glow of the burning coals in the grate。 I was quiet now； and more
composed。 Even the light gossip of the maid； full of petty human
cares and joys； had done me gooddiverted my thoughts from
brooding。 I was on the point of dropping asleep； when I was twice
disturbed。 Once； by an owl； hooting in the ivy outsideno
unaccustomed sound； but harsh and melancholy； once； by a long and
mournful howling set up by the mastiff； chained in the yard beyond
the wing I occupied。 A long…drawn； lugubrious howling was this
latter； and much such a note as the vulgar declare to herald a
death in the family。 This was a fancy I had never shared； but yet
I could not help feeling that the dog