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comprehension； and I took my leave； lest my anger should be too
highly excited by some new absurdity of his。
And you are to blame for all this； you who persuaded me to bend
my neck to this yoke by preaching a life of activity to me。 If
the man who plants vegetables； and carries his corn to town on
market…days； is not more usefully employed than I am； then let me
work ten years longer at the galleys to which I am now chained。
Oh； the brilliant wretchedness； the weariness； that one is doomed
to witness among the silly people whom we meet in society here！
The ambition of rank！ How they watch； how they toil； to gain
precedence！ What poor and contemptible passions are displayed in
their utter nakedness！ We have a woman here； for example； who
never ceases to entertain the company with accounts of her family
and her estates。 Any stranger would consider her a silly being；
whose head was turned by her pretensions to rank and property； but
she is in reality even more ridiculous； the daughter of a mere
magistrate's clerk from this neighbourhood。 I cannot understand
how human beings can so debase themselves。
Every day I observe more and more the folly of judging of others
by ourselves； and I have so much trouble with myseif； and my own
heart is in such constant agitation； that I am well content to let
others pursue their own course； if they only allow me the same
privilege。
What provokes me most is the unhappy extent to which distinctions
of rank are carried。 I know perfectly well how necessary are
inequalities of condition； and I am sensible of the advantages I
myself derive therefrom； but I would not have these institutions
prove a barrier to the small chance of happiness which I may enjoy
on this earth。
I have lately become acquainted with a Miss B； a very agreeable
girl； who has retained her natural manners in the midst of artificial
life。 Our first conversation pleased us both equally； and； at
taking leave； I requested permission to visit her。 She consented
in so obliging a manner； that I waited with impatience for the
arrival of the happy moment。 She is not a native of this place；
but resides here with her aunt。 The countenance of the old lady
is not prepossessing。 I paid her much attention； addressing the
greater part of my conversation to her； and； in less than half an
hour； I discovered what her niece subsequently acknowledged to me；
that her aged aunt； having but a small fortune； and a still smaller
share of understanding； enjoys no satisfaction except in the
pedigree of her ancestors； no protection save in her noble birth；
and no enjoyment but in looking from her castle over the heads of
the humble citizens。 She was； no doubt； handsome in her youth；
and in her early years probably trifled away her time in rendering
many a poor youth the sport of her caprice： in her riper years she
has submitted to the yoke of a veteran officer； who； in return for
her person and her small independence； has spent with her what we
may designate her age of brass。 He is dead； and she is now a
widow； and deserted。 She spends her iron age alone； and would not
be approached； except for the loveliness of her niece。
JANUARY 8； 1772。
What beings are men； whose whole thoughts are occupied with form
and ceremony； who for years together devote their mental and
physical exertions to the task of advancing themselves but one
step； and endeavouring to occupy a higher place at the table。 Not
that such persons would otherwise want employment： on the contrary；
they give themselves much trouble by neglecting important business
for such petty trifles。 Last week a question of precedence arose
at a sledging…party； and all our amusement was spoiled。
The silly creatures cannot see that it is not place which constitutes
real greatness； since the man who occupies the first place but
seldom plays the principal part。 How many kings are governed by
their ministers how many ministers by their secretaries？ Who； in
such cases； is really the chief？ He； as it seems to me； who can
see through the others； and possesses strength or skill enough to
make their power or passions subservient to the execution of his
own designs。
JANUARY 20。
I must write to you from this place； my dear Charlotte； from a
small room in a country inn； where I have taken shelter from a
severe storm。 During my whole residence in that wretched place
D； where I lived amongst strangers； strangers； indeed； to
this heart； I never at any time felt the smallest inclination
to correspond with you； but in this cottage； in this retirement；
in this solitude； with the snow and hail beating against my
lattice…pane； you are my first thought。 The instant I entered；
your figure rose up before me； and the remembrance！ O my Charlotte；
the sacred； tender remembrance！ Gracious Heaven！ restore to me
the happy moment of our first acquaintance。
Could you but see me； my dear Charlotte； in the whirl of
dissipation； how my senses are dried up； but my heart is at no
time full。 I enjoy no single moment of happiness： all is vain
nothing touches me。 I stand； as it were； before the raree…show：
I see the little puppets move； and I ask whether it is not an
optical illusion。 I am amused with these puppets； or； rather； I
am myself one of them： but； when I sometimes grasp my neighbour's
hand； I feel that it is not natural； and I withdraw mine with a
shudder。 In the evening I say I will enjoy the next morning's
sunrise； and yet I remain in bed： in the day I promise to ramble
by moonlight； and I； nevertheless； remain at home。 I know not why
I rise； nor why I go to sleep。
The leaven which animated my existence is gone： the charm which
cheered me in the gloom of night； and aroused me from my morning
slumbers； is for ever fled。
I have found but one being here to interest me； a Miss B。 She
resembles you； my dear Charlotte； if any one can possibly resemble
you。 〃Ah！〃 you will say； 〃he has learned how to pay fine compliments。〃
And this is partly true。 I have been very agreeable lately； as
it was not in my power to be otherwise。 I have； moreover； a deal
of wit： and the ladies say that no one understands flattery better；
or falsehoods you will add； since the one accomplishment invariably
accompanies the other。 But I must tell you of Miss B。 She has
abundance of soul； which flashes from her deep blue eyes。 Her
rank is a torment to her； and satisfies no one desire of her heart。
She would gladly retire from this whirl of fashion； and we often
picture to ourselves a life of undisturbed happiness in distant
scenes of rural retirement： and then we speak of you； my dear
Charlotte； for she knows you； and renders homage to your merits；
but her homage is not exacted； but voluntary； she loves you； and
delights to hear you made the subject of conversation。
Oh； that I were sitting at your feet in your favourite little room；
with the dear children playing around us！ If they became troublesome
to you； I would tell them some appalling goblin story； and they
would crowd round me with silent attention。 The sun is setting
in glory； his last rays are shining on the snow； which covers the
face of