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arrived； after a very rapid journey； the next evening。 I slept all the
way from Paris to beyond Montargis。 My lord and master put his arm
round me and pillowed my head on his shoulder； upon an arrangement of
handkerchiefs。 This was the one liberty he took； and the almost
motherly tenderness which got the better of his drowsiness； touched me
strangely。 I fell asleep then under the fire of his eyes； and awoke to
find them still blazing； the passionate gaze remained unchanged； but
what thoughts had come and gone meanwhile！ Twice he had kissed me on
the forehead。
At Briare we had breakfast in the carriage。 Then followed a talk like
our old talks at Blois； while the same Loire we used to admire called
forth our praises； and at half…past seven we entered the noble long
avenue of lime…trees； acacias； sycamores； and larches which leads to
Chantepleurs。 At eight we dined； at ten we were in our bedroom； a
charming Gothic room； made comfortable with every modern luxury。
Felipe； who is thought so ugly； seemed to me quite beautiful in his
graceful kindness and the exquisite delicacy of his affection。 Of
passion； not a trace。 All through the journey he might have been an
old friend of fifteen years' standing。 Later； he has described to me；
with all the vivid touches of his first letter； the furious storms
that raged within and were not allowed to ruffle the outer surface。
〃So far； I have found nothing very terrible in marriage；〃 I said； as I
walked to the window and looked out on the glorious moon which lit up
a charming park； breathing of heavy scents。
He drew near； put his arm again round me； and said：
〃Why fear it？ Have I ever yet proved false to my promise in gesture or
look？ Why should I be false in the future？〃
Yet never were words or glances more full of mastery； his voice
thrilled every fibre of my heart and roused a sleeping force； his eyes
were like the sun in power。
〃Oh！〃 I exclaimed； 〃what a world of Moorish perfidy in this attitude
of perpetual prostration！〃
He understood； my dear。
So； my fair sweetheart； if I have let months slip by without writing；
you can now divine the cause。 I have to recall the girl's strange past
in order to explain the woman to myself。 Renee； I understand you now。
Not to her dearest friend； not to her mother； not； perhaps； even to
herself； can a happy bride speak of her happiness。 This memory ought
to remain absolutely her own； an added rapturea thing beyond words；
too sacred for disclosure！
Is it possible that the name of duty has been given to the delicious
frenzy of the heart； to the overwhelming rush of passion？ And for what
purpose？ What malevolent power conceived the idea of crushing a
woman's sensitive delicacy and all the thousand wiles of her modesty
under the fetters of constraint？ What sense of duty can force from her
these flowers of the heart； the roses of life； the passionate poetry
of her nature； apart from love？ To claim feeling as a right！ Why； it
blooms of itself under the sun of love； and shrivels to death under
the cold blast of distaste and aversion！ Let love guard his own
rights！
Oh！ my noble Renee！ I understand you now。 I bow to your greatness；
amazed at the depth and clearness of your insight。 Yes； the woman who
has not used the marriage ceremony； as I have done； merely to legalize
and publish the secret election of her heart； has nothing left but to
fly to motherhood。 When earth fails； the soul makes for heaven！
One hard truth emerges from all that you have said。 Only men who are
really great know how to love； and now I understand the reason of
this。 Man obeys two forcesone sensual； one spiritual。 Weak or
inferior men mistake the first for the last； whilst great souls know
how to clothe the merely natural instinct in all the graces of the
spirit。 The very strength of this spiritual passion imposes severe
self…restraint and inspires them with reverence for women。 Clearly；
feeling is sensitive in proportion to the calibre of the mental powers
generally； and this is why the man of genius alone has something of a
woman's delicacy。 He understands and divines woman； and the wings of
passion on which he raises her are restrained by the timidity of the
sensitive spirit。 But when the mind； the heart； and the senses all
have their share in the rapture which transports usah！ then there is
no falling to earth； rather it is to heaven we soar； alas！ for only
too brief a visit。
Such； dear soul； is the philosophy of the first three months of my
married life。 Felipe is angelic。 Without figure of speech； he is
another self； and I can think aloud with him。 His greatness of soul
passes my comprehension。 Possession only attaches him more closely to
me； and he discovers in his happiness new motives for loving me。 For
him； I am the nobler part of himself。 I can foresee that years of
wedded life； far from impairing his affection； will only make it more
assured； develop fresh possibilities of enjoyment； and bind us in more
perfect sympathy。 What a delirium of joy！
It is part of my nature that pleasure has an exhilarating effect on
me； it leaves sunshine behind； and becomes a part of my inner being。
The interval which parts one ecstasy from another is like the short
night which marks off our long summer days。 The sun which flushed the
mountain tops with warmth in setting finds them hardly cold when it
rises。 What happy chance has given me such a destiny？ My mother had
roused a host of fears in me； her forecast； which； though free from
the alloy of vulgar pettiness； seemed to me redolent of jealousy； has
been falsified by the event。 Your fears and hers； my ownall have
vanished in thin air！
We remained at Chantepleurs seven months and a half； for all the world
like a couple of runaway lovers fleeing the parental warmth； while the
roses of pleasure crowned our love and embellished our dual solitude。
One morning； when I was even happier than usual； I began to muse over
my lot； and suddenly Renee and her prosaic marriage flashed into my
mind。 It seemed to me that now I could grasp the inner meaning in your
life。 Oh！ my sweet； why do we speak a different tongue？ Your marriage
of convenience and my love match are two worlds； as widely separated
as the finite from infinity。 You still walk the earth； whilst I range
the heavens！ Your sphere is human； mine divine！ Love crowned me queen；
you reign by reason and duty。 So lofty are the regions where I soar；
that a fall would shiver me to atoms。
But no more of this。 I shrink from painting to you the rainbow
brightness； the profusion； the exuberant joy of love's springtime； as
we know it。
For ten days we have been in Paris； staying in a charming house in the
Rue du Bac； prepared for us by the architect to whom Felipe intrusted
the decoration of Chantepleurs。 I have been listening； in all the full
content of an assured and sanctioned love； to that divine music of
Rossini's； which used to soothe me when； as a restless girl； I
hungered vaguely after experience。 They say I am more beautiful； and I
have a childish pleasure in hearing myself called 〃Madame。〃
Friday morning。
Renee； my fair saint； the happiness of my own life pulls me f