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question of how to get the greatest gratification from one's dinner；
did not then and do not now exist for those for whom the purpose of
a dinner is the nourishment it affords； and the purpose of marriage is
the family。
If the purpose of dinner is to nourish the body； a man who eats
two dinners at once may perhaps get more enjoyment but will not attain
his purpose； for his stomach will not digest the two dinners。
If the purpose of marriage is the family； the person who wishes to
have many wives or husbands may perhaps obtain much pleasure； but in
that case will not have a family。
If the purpose of food is nourishment and the purpose of marriage is
the family； the whole question resolves itself into not eating more
than one can digest； and not having more wives or husbands than are
needed for the family… that is； one wife or one husband。 Natasha
needed a husband。 A husband was given her and he gave her a family。
And she not only saw no need of any other or better husband； but as
all the powers of her soul were intent on serving that husband and
family； she could not imagine and saw no interest in imagining how
it would be if things were different。
Natasha did not care for society in general； but prized the more the
society of her relatives… Countess Mary； and her brother； her
mother； and Sonya。 She valued the company of those to whom she could
come striding disheveled from the nursery in her dressing gown； and
with joyful face show a yellow instead of a green stain on baby's
napkin； and from whom she could hear reassuring words to the effect
that baby was much better。
To such an extent had Natasha let herself go that the way she
dressed and did her hair； her ill…chosen words； and her jealousy…
she was jealous of Sonya； of the governess； and of every woman； pretty
or plain… were habitual subjects of jest to those about her。 The
general opinion was that Pierre was under his wife's thumb； which
was really true。 From the very first days of their married life
Natasha had announced her demands。 Pierre was greatly surprised by his
wife's view； to him a perfectly novel one； that every moment of his
life belonged to her and to the family。 His wife's demands
astonished him； but they also flattered him； and he submitted to them。
Pierre's subjection consisted in the fact that he not only dared not
flirt with； but dared not even speak smilingly to； any other woman；
did not dare dine at the Club as a pastime； did not dare spend money a
whim； and did not dare absent himself for any length of time； except
on business… in which his wife included his intellectual pursuits；
which she did not in the least understand but to which she
attributed great importance。 To make up for this； at home Pierre had
the right to regulate his life and that of the whole family exactly as
he chose。 At home Natasha placed herself in the position of a slave to
her husband； and the whole household went on tiptoe when he was
occupied… that is； was reading or writing in his study。 Pierre had but
to show a partiality for anything to get just what he liked done
always。 He had only to express a wish and Natasha would jump up and
run to fulfill it。
The entire household was governed according to Pierre's supposed
orders； that is； by his wishes which Natasha tried to guess。 Their way
of life and place of residence； their acquaintances and ties；
Natasha's occupations； the children's upbringing； were all selected
not merely with regard to Pierre's expressed wishes； but to what
Natasha from the thoughts he expressed in conversation supposed his
wishes to be。 And she deduced the essentials of his wishes quite
correctly； and having once arrived at them clung to them
tenaciously。 When Pierre himself wanted to change his mind she would
fight him with his own weapons。
Thus in a time of trouble ever memorable to him after the birth of
their first child who was delicate； when they had to change the wet
nurse three times and Natasha fell ill from despair； Pierre one day
told her of Rousseau's view； with which he quite agreed； that to
have a wet nurse is unnatural and harmful。 When her next baby was
born； despite the opposition of her mother； the doctors； and even of
her husband himself… who were all vigorously opposed to her nursing
her baby herself； a thing then unheard of and considered injurious…
she insisted on having her own way； and after that nursed all her
babies herself。
It very often happened that in a moment of irritation husband and
wife would have a dispute； but long afterwards Pierre to his
surprise and delight would find in his wife's ideas and actions the
very thought against which she had argued； but divested of
everything superfluous that in the excitement of the dispute he had
added when expressing his opinion。
After seven years of marriage Pierre had the joyous and firm
consciousness that he was not a bad man； and he felt this because he
saw himself reflected in his wife。 He felt the good and bad within
himself inextricably mingled and overlapping。 But only what was really
good in him was reflected in his wife； all that was not quite good was
rejected。 And this was not the result of logical reasoning but was a
direct and mysterious reflection。
EP1｜CH11
CHAPTER XI
Two months previously when Pierre was already staying with the
Rostovs he had received a letter from Prince Theodore； asking him to
come to Petersburg to confer on some important questions that were
being discussed there by a society of which Pierre was one of the
principal founders。
On reading that letter （she always read her husband's letters）
Natasha herself suggested that he should go to Petersburg； though
she would feel his absence very acutely。 She attributed immense
importance to all her husband's intellectual and abstract interests
though she did not understand them； and she always dreaded being a
hindrance to him in such matters。 To Pierre's timid look of inquiry
after reading the letter she replied by asking him to go； but to fix a
definite date for his return。 He was given four weeks' leave of
absence。
Ever since that leave of absence had expired； more than a
fortnight before； Natasha had been in a constant state of alarm；
depression； and irritability。
Denisov； now a general on the retired list and much dissatisfied
with the present state of affairs； had arrived during that
fortnight。 He looked at Natasha with sorrow and surprise as at a bad
likeness of a person once dear。 A dull； dejected look； random replies；
and talk about the nursery was all he saw and heard from his former
enchantress。
Natasha was sad and irritable all that time； especially when her
mother； her brother； Sonya； or Countess Mary in their efforts to
console her tried to excuse Pierre and suggested reasons for his delay
in returning。
〃It's all nonsense； all rubbish… those discussions which lead to
nothing and all those idiotic societies！〃 Natasha declared of the