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poor paper got to be a conundrum； and so I gave it up。〃
The idea of entering the field as a lecturer now seized Mr。
Browne stronger than ever。 Tired of the pen； he resolved on
trying the platform。 His Bohemian friends agreed that his fame
and fortune would be made before intelligent audiences。 He
resolved to try it。 What should be the subject of my lecture？
How shall I treat the subject？ These questions caused Mr。 Browne
grave speculations。 Among other schemes； he thought of a string
of jests combined with a stream of satire； the whole being
unconnecteda burlesque upon a lecture。 The subject；that was
a hard question。 First he thought of calling it 〃My Seven
Grandmothers；〃 but he finally adopted the name of 〃Babes in the
Woods；〃 and with this subject Charles Browne was introduced to a
metropolitan audience； on the evening of December 23d； 1861。 The
place was Clinton Hall； which stood on the site of the old Astor
Place Opera House； where years ago occurred the Macready riot；
and where now is the Mercantile Library。 Previous to this
introduction； Mr。 Frank Wood accompanied him to the suburban town
of Norwich； Connecticut； where he first delivered his lecture；
and watched the result。 The audience was delighted； and Mr。
Browne received an ovation。 Previous to his Clinton Hall
appearance the city was flooded with funny placards reading
ARTEMUS WARD
WILL
SPEAK A PIECE。
Owing to a great storm； only a small audience braved the
elements； and the Clinton Hall lecture was not a financial
success。 It consisted of a wandering batch of comicalities；
touching upon everything except 〃The Babes。〃 Indeed it was
better described by the lecturer in London； when he said； 〃One of
the features of my entertainment is； that it contains so many
things that don't have anything to do with it。〃
In the middle of his lecture； the speaker would hesitate； stop；
and say： 〃Owing to a slight indisposition we will now have an
intermission of fifteen minutes。〃 The audience looked in utter
dismay at the idea of staring at vacancy for a quarter of an
hour； when； rubbing his hands； the lecturer would continue：
〃but； ahduring the intermission I will go on with my lecture！〃
Mr。 Browne's first volume； entitled 〃Artemus Ward； His Book；〃 was
published in New York； May 17th； 1862。 The volume was everywhere
hailed with enthusiasm； and over forty thousand copies were sold。
Great success also attended the sale of his three other volumes
published in '65； '67； and '69。
Mr。 Browne's next lecture was entitled 〃Sixty Minutes in Africa；〃
and was delivered in Musical Fund Hall； Philadelphia。 Behind him
hung a large map of Africa； 〃which region；〃 said Artemus；
〃abounds in various natural productions； such as reptiles and
flowers。 It produces the red rose； the white rose； and the neg…
roes。 In the middle of the continent is what is called a
'howling wilderness；' but； for my part； I have never heard it
howl； nor met with any one who has。〃
After Mr。 Browne had created immense enthusiasm for his lectures
and books in the Eastern States； which filled his pockets with a
handsome exchequer； he started； October 3d； 1863； for California；
a faithful account of which trip is given by himself in this
book。 Previous to starting； he received a telegram from Thomas
Maguire； of the San Francisco Opera House； inquiring 〃what he
would TAKE FOR FORTY NIGHTS IN CALIFORNIA。〃 Mr。 Brown
immediately telegraphed back；
〃Brandy and water。
A。 Ward。〃
And； though Maguire was sorely puzzled at the contents of the
dispatch； the Press got hold of it； and it went through
California as a capital joke。
Mr。 Browne first lectured in San Francisco on 〃The Babes in the
Woods；〃 November 13th； 1863； at Pratt's Hall。 T。 Starr King took
a deep interest in him； occupying the rostrum； and his general
reception in San Francisco was warm。
Returning overland； through Salt Lake to the States； in the fall
of 1864； Mr。 Browne lectured again in New York； this time on the
〃Mormons；〃 to immense audiences； and in the spring of 1865 he
commenced his tour through the country； everywhere drawing
enthusiastic audiences both North and South。
It was while on this tour that the writer of this sketch again
spent some time with him。 We met at Memphis and traveled down
the Mississippi together。 At Lake Providence the 〃Indiana〃
rounded up to our landing； and Mr。 Browne accompanied the writer
to his plantation； where he spent several days； mingling in
seeming infinite delight with the negroes。 For them he showed
great fondness； and they used to stand around him in crowds
listening to his seemingly serious advice。 We could not prevail
upon him to hunt or to join in any of the equestrian amusements
with the neighboring planters； but a quiet fascination drew him
to the negroes。 Strolling through the 〃quarters；〃 his grave
words； too deep with humor for darkey comprehension； gained
their entire confidence。 One day he called up Uncle Jeff。； an
Uncle…Tom…like patriarch； and commenced in his usual vein： 〃Now；
Uncle Jefferson；〃 he said； 〃why do you thus pursue the habits of
industry？ This course of life is wrongall wrongall a base
habit； Uncle Jefferson。 Now try to break it off。 Look at me；
look at Mr。 Landon； the chivalric young Southern plantist FROM
NEW YORK； he toils not； neither does he spin； he pursues a career
of contented idleness。 If you only thought so； Jefferson； you
could live for months WITHOUT PERFORMING ANY KIND OF LABOR； and
at the expiration of that time FEEL FRESH AND VIGOROUS ENOUGH TO
COMMENCE IT AGAIN。 Idleness refreshes the physical organization
IT IS A SWEET BOON！ Strike at the roots of the destroying habit
to…day； Jefferson。 It tires you out； resolve to be idle； no one
should labor； HE SHOULD HIRE OTHERS TO DO IT FOR HIM；〃 and then
he would fix his mournful eyes on Jeff。 and hand him a dollar；
while the eyes of the wonder…struck darkey would gaze in mute
admiration upon the good and wise originator of the only theory
which the darkey mind could appreciate。 As Jeff。 went away to
tell the wonderful story to his companions； and backed it with
the dollar as material proof； Artemus would cover his eyes； and
bend forward on his elbows in a chuckling laugh。
〃Among the Mormons〃 was delivered through the States； everywhere
drawing immense crowds。 His manner of delivering his discourse
was grotesque and comical beyond description。 His quaint and sad
style contributed more than anything else to render his
entertainment exquisitely funny。 The programme was exceedingly
droll； and the tickets of admission presented the most ludicrous
of ideas。 The writer presents a fac…simile of an admission
ticket which was presented to him in Natchez by Mr。 Browne：
ADMIT THE BEARER
AND ONE WIFE。
YOURS TROOLY；
A。 WARD。
In the spring of 1866； Charles Browne first timidly thought of
going to Europe。 Turning to Mr。 Hingston one day he asked：
〃What sort of a man is Alb