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found wanting。 But to satisfy you as far as I can； I will try and
define it … not by telling you what it is； that is beyond my power
… but by negatives； the only way in which subtle subjects can be
approached。
A woman of charm is never flustered and never DISTRAITE。 She talks
little； and rarely of herself； remembering that bores are persons
who insist on talking about themselves。 She does not break the
thread of a conversation by irrelevant questions or confabulate in
an undertone with the servants。 No one of her guests receives more
of her attention than another and none are neglected。 She offers
to each one who speaks the homage of her entire attention。 She
never makes an effort to be brilliant or entertain with her wit。
She is far too clever for that。 Neither does she volunteer
information nor converse about her troubles or her ailments； nor
wander off into details about people you do not know。
She is all things … to each man she likes； in the best sense of
that phrase； appreciating his qualities； stimulating him to better
things。
… for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness and a smile and eloquence of beauty；
and she glides
Into his darker musings with a mild and healing sympathy that
steals away
Their sharpness ere he is aware。
CHAPTER 2 … The Moth and the Star
THE truth of the saying that 〃it is always the unexpected that
happens；〃 receives in this country a confirmation from an unlooked…
for quarter； as does the fact of human nature being always；
discouragingly； the same in spite of varied surroundings。 This
sounds like a paradox； but is an exceedingly simple statement
easily proved。
That the great mass of Americans； drawn as they are from such
varied sources； should take any interest in the comings and goings
or social doings of a small set of wealthy and fashionable people；
is certainly an unexpected development。 That to read of the
amusements and home life of a clique of people with whom they have
little in common； whose whole education and point of view are
different from their own； and whom they have rarely seen and never
expect to meet； should afford the average citizen any amusement
seems little short of impossible。
One accepts as a natural sequence that abroad （where an hereditary
nobility have ruled for centuries； and accustomed the people to
look up to them as the visible embodiment of all that is splendid
and unattainable in life） such interest should exist。 That the
home…coming of an English or French nobleman to his estates should
excite the enthusiasm of hundreds more or less dependent upon him
for their amusement or more material advantages； that his marriage
to an heiress … meaning to them the re…opening of a long…closed
CHATEAU and the beginning of a period of prosperity for the
district … should excite his neighbors is not to be wondered at。
It is well known that whole regions have been made prosperous by
the residence of a court； witness the wealth and trade brought into
Scotland by the Queen's preference for 〃the Land of Cakes；〃 and the
discontent and poverty in Ireland from absenteeism and persistent
avoidance of that country by the court。 But in this land； where
every reason for interesting one class in another seems lacking；
that thousands of well…to…do people （half the time not born in this
hemisphere）； should delightedly devour columns of incorrect
information about New York dances and Lenox house…parties； winter
cruises； or Newport coaching parades； strikes the observer as the
〃unexpected〃 in its purest form。
That this interest exists is absolutely certain。 During a trip in
the West； some seasons ago； I was dumbfounded to find that the
members of a certain New York set were familiarly spoken of by
their first names； and was assailed with all sorts of eager
questions when it was discovered that I knew them。 A certain young
lady； at that time a belle in New York； was currently called SALLY；
and a well…known sportsman FRED； by thousands of people who had
never seen either of them。 It seems impossible； does it not？ Let
us look a little closer into the reason of this interest； and we
shall find how simple is the apparent paradox。
Perhaps in no country； in all the world； do the immense middle
classes lead such uninteresting lives； and have such limited
resources at their disposal for amusement or the passing of leisure
hours。
Abroad the military bands play constantly in the public parks； the
museums and palaces are always open wherein to pass rainy Sunday
afternoons； every village has its religious FETES and local fair；
attended with dancing and games。 All these mental relaxations are
lacking in our newer civilization； life is stripped of everything
that is not distinctly practical； the dull round of weekly toil is
only broken by the duller idleness of an American Sunday。
Naturally； these people long for something outside of themselves
and their narrow sphere。
Suddenly there arises a class whose wealth permits them to break
through the iron circle of work and boredom； who do picturesque and
delightful things； which appeal directly to the imagination； they
build a summer residence complete； in six weeks； with furniture and
bric…a…brac； on the top of a roadless mountain； they sail in
fairylike yachts to summer seas； and marry their daughters to the
heirs of ducal houses； they float up the Nile in dahabeeyah； or
pass the 〃month of flowers〃 in far Japan。
It is but human nature to delight in reading of these things。 Here
the great mass of the people find （and eagerly seize on）； the
element of romance lacking in their lives； infinitely more
enthralling than the doings of any novel's heroine。 It is real！
It is taking place！ and … still deeper reason … in every ambitious
American heart lingers the secret hope that with luck and good
management they too may do those very things； or at least that
their children will enjoy the fortunes they have gained； in just
those ways。 The gloom of the monotonous present is brightened； the
patient toiler returns to his desk with something definite before
him … an objective point … towards which he can struggle； he knows
that this is no impossible dream。 Dozens have succeeded and prove
to him what energy and enterprise can accomplish。
Do not laugh at this suggestion； it is far truer than you imagine。
Many a weary woman has turned from such reading to her narrow
duties； feeling that life is not all work； and with renewed hope in
the possibilities of the future。
Doubtless a certain amount of purely idle curiosity is mingled with
the other feelings。 I remember quite well showing our city sights
to a bored party of Western friends； and failing entirely to amuse
them； when； happening to mention as we drove up town； 〃there goes
Mr。 Blank；〃 （naming a