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subscription only； and should be on the center…table in every
parlor in this county。 If you will glance over this book； sir； you
will find it as interesting as a novel； and as useful as an
encyclopaedia〃
〃I don't want the book；〃 I said； 〃and I don't care to look at it。〃
〃But if you were to look at it you would want it； I'm sure。〃
〃That's a good reason for not looking at it； then；〃 I answered。
〃If you came to get us to subscribe for that book we need not take
up any more of your time； for we shall not subscribe。〃
〃Oh； I did not come for that alone；〃 he said。 〃I shall stay here
to…night and start out in the morning to work up the neighborhood。
If you would like this bookand I'm sure you have only to look at
it to do thatyou can deduct the amount of my bill from the
subscription price； and〃
〃What did you say you charged for this book？〃 asked Euphemia；
stepping forward and picking up the volume。
〃Three seventy…five is the subscription price； ma'am； but that book
is not for sale。 That is merely a sample。 If you put your name
down on my list you will be served with your book in two weeks。 As
I told your husband； it will come very cheap to you； because you
can deduct what you charge me for supper； lodging； and breakfast。〃
〃Indeed！〃 said my wife； and then she remarked that she must go in
the house and get supper。
〃When will supper be ready？〃 the man asked； as she passed him。
At first she did not answer him； but then she called back：
〃In about half an hour。〃
〃Good；〃 said the man； 〃but I wish it was ready now。 And now； sir；
if you would just glance over this book； while we are waiting for
supper〃
I cut him very short and went out into the road。 I walked up and
down in front of the house； in a bad humor。 I could not bear to
think of my wife getting supper for this fellow； who was striding
about on the piazza； as if he was very hungry and very impatient。
Just as I returned to the house； the bell rang from within。
〃Joyful sound！〃 said the man； and in he marched。 I followed close
behind him。 On one end of the table； in the kitchen； supper was
set for one person； and； as the man entered； Euphemia motioned him
to the table。 The supper looked like a remarkably good one。 A cup
of coffee smoked by the side of the plate； there was ham and eggs
and a small omelette； there were fried potatoes； some fresh
radishes； a plate of hot biscuit； and some preserves。 The man's
eyes sparkled。
〃I am sorry；〃 said he； 〃that I am to eat alone； for I hoped to have
your good company； but； if this plan suits you； it suits me；〃 and
he drew up a chair。
〃Stop！〃 said Euphemia； advancing between him and the table。 〃You
are not to eat that。 This is a sample supper。 If you order a
supper like it； one will be served to you in two weeks。〃
At this I burst into a roar of laughter； my wife stood pale and
determined； and the man drew back； looking first at one of us； and
then at the other。
〃Am I to understand？〃 he said。
〃Yes；〃 I interrupted； 〃you are。 There is nothing more to be said
on this subject。 You may go now。 You came here to annoy us；
knowing that we did not entertain travelers； and now you see what
you have made by it；〃 and I opened the door。
The man evidently thought that a reply was not necessary； and he
walked out without a word。 Taking up his valise； which he had put
in the hall； he asked if there was any public…house near by。
〃No；〃 I said； 〃but there is a farm…house a short distance down the
road； where they will be glad to have you。〃 And down the road he
went to Mrs。 Carson's。 I am sorry to say that he sold her a 〃Flora
and Fauna〃 before he went to bed that night。
We were much amused at the termination of this affair； and I
became； if possible； a still greater admirer of Euphemia's talents
for management。 But we both agreed that it would not do to keep up
the sign any longer。 We could not tell when the irate driver might
not pounce down upon us with a customer。
〃But I hate to take it down；〃 said Euphemia； 〃it looks so much like
a surrender。〃
〃Do not trouble yourself；〃 said I。 〃I have an idea。〃
The next morning I went down to Danny Carson's little shop；he was
a wheelwright as well as a farmer；and I got from him two pots of
paintone black and one whiteand some brushes。 I took down our
sign； and painted out the old lettering； and； instead of it； I
painted； in bold and somewhat regular characters； new names for our
tavern。
On one side of the sign I painted：
〃SOAP…MAKER'S
AND
BOOK…BINDER'S
HOTEL。〃
And on the other side：
〃UPHOLSTERERS'
AND
DENTISTS'
HOUSE。〃
〃Now then；〃 I said； 〃I don't believe any of those people will be
traveling along the road while we are here； or； at any rate； they
won't want to stop。〃
We admired this sign very much； and sat on the piazza； that
afternoon； to see how it would strike Bill； as he passed by。 It
seemed to strike him pretty hard； for he gazed with all his eyes at
one side of it； as he approached； and then； as he passed it； he
actually pulled up to read the other side。
〃All right！〃 he called out； as he drove off。 〃All right！ All
right！〃
Euphemia didn't like the way he said 〃all right。〃 It seemed to
her； she said； as if he intended to do something which would be all
right for him； but not at all so for us。 I saw she was nervous
about it； for that evening she began to ask me questions about the
traveling propensities of soap…makers； upholsterers； and dentists。
〃Do not think anything more about that； my dear；〃 I said。 〃I will
take the sign down in the morning。 We are here to enjoy ourselves；
and not to be worried。〃
〃And yet；〃 said she； 〃it would worry me to think that that driver
frightened us into taking down the sign。 I tell you what I wish
you would do。 Paint out those names； and let me make a sign。 Then
I promise you I will not be worried。〃
The next day； therefore； I took down the sign and painted out my
inscriptions。 It was a good deal of trouble； for my letters were
fresh； but it was a rainy day； and I had plenty of time； and
succeeded tolerably well。 Then I gave Euphemia the black…paint pot
and the freedom of the sign。
I went down to the creek to try a little fishing in wet weather；
and when I returned the new sign was done。 On one side it read：
FLIES'
AND
WASPS'
HOTEL。
On the other：
HUNDRED…LEGGERS'
AND
RED…ANTS'
HOUSE。
〃You see；〃 said euphemia； 〃if any individuals mentioned thereon
apply for accommodation； we can say we are full。〃
This sign hung triumphantly for several days； when one morning；
just as we had finished breakfast； we were surprised to hear the
stage stop at the door； and before we could go out to see who had
arrived； into the room came our own stage…driver； as we used to
call him。 He had actually left his team to come and see us。
〃I just thought I'd stop an' tell ye；〃 said he； 〃that ef ye don't
look out； Bill'll get ye inter trouble。 He's bound to git the best
o' ye； an' I heared this mornin'； at Lowry's； that he's agoin' to
bring the county clerk up here t