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an' me didn't intend to wait for no sich talk as this； an' he tuk
the man by the arm； and I tuk the old woman； an' we jus' walked 'em
off。 The boarder he told the loafers to get out an' go home； an'
none of 'em follered us； for they know'd if they did he'd a batted
'em over the head。 But he comes up alongside o' me； as I was a'
walkin' behind with Mrs。 Jackson； an' says he： 'How d'ye do；
Pomona？' I must say I felt as if I could slip in between two
flagstones； but as I couldn't get away； I said I was pretty well。
'I heared you was on your bridal trip；' says he ag'in； 'is this
it？' It was jus' like him to know that； an' as there was no help
for it； I said it was。 'Is that your husband？' says he； pointin'
to Jone。 'Yes；' says I。 'It was very good in him to come along；'
says he。 'Is these two your groomsman and bridesmaid？' 'No sir；'
says I。 'They're crazy。' 'No wonder；' says he。 'It's enough to
drive 'em so； to see you two；' an' then he went ahead an' shook
hands with Jone； an' told him he'd know'd me a long time； but he
didn't say nuthin' about havin' histed me out of a winder； for
which I was obliged to him。 An' then he come back to me an' says
he； 'Good…mornin'； I must go to the office。 I hope you'll have a
good time for the rest of your trip。 If you happen to run short o'
lunertics； jus' let me know； and I'll furnish you with another
pair。' 'All right；' says I； 'but you mustn't bring your little
girl along。'
〃He kinder laughed at this； as we walked away； an' then he turned
around an' come back； and says he； 'Have you been to any the…ay…
ters； or anything； since you've been in town？' 'No；' says I； 'not
one。' 'Well；' says he； 'you ought to go。 Which do you like best；
the the…ay…ter； the cir…cus； or wild…beasts？' I did really like
the the…ay…ter best； havin' thought of bein' a play…actor； as you
know； but I considered I'd better let that kind o' thing slide jus'
now； as bein' a little too romantic； right after the 'sylum； an' so
I says； 'I've been once to a circus； an' once to a wild…beast
garden； an' I like 'em both。 I hardly know which I like bestthe
roarin' beasts； a…prancin' about in their cages； with the smell of
blood an' hay； an' the towerin' elephants； or the horses； an' the
music； an' the gauzy figgers at the circus； an' the splendid
knights in armor an' flashin' pennants； all on fiery steeds； a…
plungin' ag'in the sides of the ring； with their flags a…flyin' in
the grand entry；' says I； real excited with what I remembered about
these shows。
〃'Well；' says he； 'I don't wonder at your feelin's。 An' now；
here's two tickets for to…night； which you an' your husband can
have； if you like； for I can't go。 They're to a meetin' of the
Hudson County Enter…mo…logical Society； over to Hoboken； at eight
o'clock。'
〃'Over to Hoboken！' says I； 'that's a long way。'
〃'Oh no； it isn't；' says he。 'An' it wont cost you a cent； but the
ferry。 They couldn't have them shows in the city； for； if the
creatures was to get loose； there's no knowin' what might happen。
So take 'em； an' have as much fun as you can for the rest of your
trip。 Good…bye！' An' off he went。
〃Well； we kep' straight on to the doctor's； an' glad we was when we
got there； an' mad he was when we lef' Mrs。 Jackson an' the General
on his hands； for we wouldn't have no more to do with 'em； an' he
couldn't help undertaking' to see that they got back to the asylum。
I thought at first he wouldn't lift a finger to get us our trunk；
but he cooled down after a bit； an' said he hoped we'd try some
different kind of institution for the rest of our trip； which we
said we thought we would。
〃That afternoon we gawked around； a…lookin' at all the outside
shows； for Jone said he'd have to be pretty careful of his money
now； an' he was glad when I told him I had two free tickets in my
pocket for a show in the evenin。'
〃As we was a…walkin' down to the ferry； after supper； says he：
〃'Suppose you let me have a look at them tickets。'
〃So I hands 'em to him。 He reads one of 'em； and then he reads the
other； which he needn't 'a' done； for they was both alike； an' then
he turns to me； an' says he：
〃'What kind of a man is your boarder…as…was？'
〃It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to say jus' what he was；
but I give Jone the idea； in a general sort of way； that he was
pretty lively。
〃'So I should think；' says he。 'He's been tryin' a trick on us；
and sendin' us to the wrong place。 It's rather late in the season
for a show of the kind； but the place we ought to go to is a
potato…field。'
〃'What on earth are you talkin' about？' says I； dumbfoundered。
〃'Well；' says he； 'it's a trick he's been playin'。 He thought a
bridal trip like ours ought to have some sort of a outlandish wind…
up； an' so he sent us to this place； which is a meetin' of chaps
who are agoin' to talk about insec's；principally potato…bugs； I
expec'an' anything stupider than that； I s'pose your boarder…as…
was couldn't think of； without havin' a good deal o' time to
consider。'
〃'It's jus' like him；' says I。 'Let's turn round and go back；'
which we did； prompt。
〃We gave the tickets to a little boy who was sellin' papers； but I
don't believe he went。
〃'Now then；' says Jone； after he'd been thinkin' awhile； 'there'll
be no more foolin' on this trip。 I've blocked out the whole of the
rest of it； an' we'll wind up a sight better than that boarder…as…
was has any idea of。 To…morrow we'll go to father's an' if the old
gentleman has got any money on the crops； which I expec' he has； by
this time； I'll take up a part o' my share； an' we'll have a trip
to Washington； an' see the President； an' Congress； an' the White
House； an' the lamp always a…burnin' before the Supreme Court； an''
〃'Don't say no more； says I； 'it's splendid！'
〃So； early the nex' day； we goes off jus' as fast as trains would
take us to his father's； an' we hadn't been there mor'n ten
minutes； before Jone found out he had been summoned on a jury。
〃'When must you go？' says I； when he come； lookin' a kind o' pale；
to tell me this。
〃'Right off；' says he。 'The court meets this mornin'。 If I don't
hurry up； I'll have some of 'em after me。 But I wouldn't cry about
it。 I don't believe the case'll last more'n a day。'
〃The old man harnessed up an' took Jone to the court…house； an' I
went too； for I might as well keep up the idea of a bridal…trip as
not。 I went up into the gallery； and Jone； he was set among the
other men in the jury…box。
〃The case was about a man named Brown； who married the half…sister
of a man named Adams； who afterward married Brown's mother； and
sold Brown a house he had got from Brown's grandfather； in trade
for half a grist…mill； which the other half of was owned by Adams's
half…sister's first husband； who left all his property to a soup
society； in trust； till his son should come of age； which he never
did； but left a will which give his half of the mill to Brown； and
the suit was between Brown and Adams and Brown again； and Adams's
half…sister； who was divorced from Brown； and a man named Ramsey；
who had put up a new over…shot wheel to the grist…mill。〃
〃Oh my！〃 exclai