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ham…bones。
This German girl had several successors； and some of them suited as
badly and left as abruptly as herself； but Euphemia never forgot
the ungrateful stab given her by this 〃ham…bone girl；〃 as she
always called her。 It was her first wound of the kind； and it came
in the very beginning of the campaign when she was all unused to
this domestic warfare。
CHAPTER VII。
TREATING OF AN UNSUCCESSFUL BROKER AND A DOG。
It was a couple of weeks； or thereabouts； after this episode that
Euphemia came down to the gate to meet me on my return from the
city。 I noticed a very peculiar expression on her face。 She
looked both thoughtful and pleased。 Almost the first words she
said to me were these：
〃A tramp came here to…day。〃
〃I am sorry to hear that；〃 I exclaimed。 〃That's the worst news I
have had yet。 I did hope that we were far enough from the line of
travel to escape these scourges。 How did you get rid of him？ Was
he impertinent？〃
〃You must not feel that way about all tramps；〃 said she。
〃Sometimes they are deserving of our charity； and ought to be
helped。 There is a great difference in them。〃
〃That may be；〃 I said； 〃but what of this one？ When was he here；
and when did he go？〃
〃He did not go at all。 He is here now。〃
〃Here now！〃 I cried。 〃Where is he？〃
〃Do not call out so loud；〃 said Euphemia； putting her hand on my
arm。 〃You will waken him。 He is asleep。〃
〃Asleep！〃 said I。 〃A tramp？ Here？〃
〃Yes。 Stop； let me tell you about him。 He told me his story； and
it is a sad one。 He is a middle…aged manfifty perhapsand has
been rich。 He was once a broker in Wall street； but lost money by
the failure of various railroadsthe Camden and Amboy； for one。〃
〃That hasn't failed；〃 I interrupted。
〃Well then it was the Northern Pacific； or some other one of them
at any rate I know it was either a railroad or a bank；and he soon
became very poor。 He has a son in Cincinnati； who is a successful
merchant； and lives in a fine house； with horses and carriages； and
all that； and this poor man has written to his son； but has never
had any answer。 So now he is going to walk to Cincinnati to see
him。 He knows he will not be turned away if he can once meet his
son； face to face。 He was very tired when he stopped here；and he
has ever and ever so far to walk yet； you know；and so after I had
given him something to eat； I let him lie down in the outer
kitchen； on that roll of rag…carpet that is there。 I spread it out
for him。 It is a hard bed for one who has known comfort； but he
seems to sleep soundly。〃
〃Let me see him；〃 said I； and I walked back to the outer kitchen。
There lay the unsuccessful broker fast asleep。 His face； which was
turned toward me as I entered； showed that it had been many days
since he had been shaved； and his hair had apparently been uncombed
for about the same length of time。 His clothes were very old； and
a good deal torn； and he wore one boot and one shoe。
〃Whew！〃 said I。 〃Have you been giving him whisky？〃
〃No；〃 whispered Euphemia； 〃of course not。 I noticed that smell；
and he said he had been cleaning his clothes with alcohol。〃
〃They needed it； I'm sure；〃 I remarked as I turned away。 〃And
now；〃 said I； 〃where's the girl？〃
〃This is her afternoon out。 What is the matter？ You look
frightened。〃
〃Oh； I'm not frightened； but I find I must go down to the station
again。 Just run up and put on your bonnet。 It will be a nice
little walk for you。〃
I had been rapidly revolving the matter in my mind。 What was I to
do with this wretch who was now asleep in my outer kitchen？ If I
woke him up and drove him off；and I might have difficulty in
doing it；there was every reason to believe that he would not go
far； but return at night and commit some revengeful act。 I never
saw a more sinister…looking fellow。 And he was certainly drunk。
He must not be allowed to wander about our neighborhood。 I would
go for the constable and have him arrested。
So I locked the door from the kitchen into the house and then the
outside door of the kitchen； and when my wife came down we hurried
off。 On the way I told her what I intended to do； and what I
thought of our guest。 She answered scarcely a word； and I hoped
that she was frightened。 I think she was。
The constable； who was also coroner of our township； had gone to a
creek； three miles away； to hold an inquest； and there was nobody
to arrest the man。 The nearest police…station was at Hackingford；
six miles away； on the railroad。 I held a consultation with the
station…master； and the gentleman who kept the grocery…store
opposite。
They could think of nothing to be done except to shoot the man； and
to that I objected。
〃However；〃 said I； 〃he can't stay there；〃 and a happy thought just
then striking me； I called to the boy who drove the village
express…wagon； and engaged him for a job。 The wagon was standing
at the station； and to save time； I got in and rode to my house。
Euphemia went over to call on the groceryman's wife until I
returned。
I had determined that the man should be taken away； although； until
I was riding home； I had not made up my mind where to have him
taken。 But on the road I settled this matter。
On reaching the house； we drove into the yard as close to the
kitchen as we could go。 Then I unlocked the door； and the boywho
was a big； strapping fellowentered with me。 We found the ex…
broker still wrapped in the soundest slumber。 Leaving the boy to
watch him； I went upstairs and got a baggage…tag which I directed
to the chief of police at the police station in Hackingford。 I
returned to the kitchen and fastened this tag； conspicuously； on
the lappel of the sleeper's coat。 Then； with a clothes…line； I
tied him up carefully； hand and foot。 To all this he offered not
the slightest opposition。 When he was suitably packed； with due
regard to the probable tenderness of wrist and ankle in one brought
up in luxury； the boy and I carried him to the wagon。
He was a heavy load； and we may have bumped him a little； but his
sleep was not disturbed。 Then we drove him to the express office。
This was at the railroad station； and the station…master was also
express agent。 At first he was not inclined to receive my parcel；
but when I assured him that all sorts of live things were sent by
express； and that I could see no reason for making an exception in
this case； he added my arguments to his own disposition； as a
house…holder； to see the goods forwarded to their destination； and
so gave me a receipt； and pasted a label on the ex…broker's
shoulder。 I set no value on the package； which I prepaid。
〃Now then；〃 said the station…master； 〃he'll go all right； if the
express agent on the train will take him。〃
This matter was soon settled； for； in a few minutes； the train
stopped at the station。 My package was wheeled to the express car；
and two porters； who entered heartily into the spirit of the thing；
hoisted it into the car。 The train…agent； who just then noticed
the character of the goods； began to declare that he would not have
the fellow in his car； but my friend the station…master shouted out
that