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Rudder Grange
by Frank R。 Stockton
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I。
Treating of a Novel Style of Dwelling…house
CHAPTER II。
Treating of a Novel Style of Boarder
CHAPTER III。
Treating of a Novel Style of Girl
CHAPTER IV。
Treating of a Novel Style of Burglar
CHAPTER V。
Pomona Produces a Partial Revolution in Rudder Grange
CHAPTER VI。
The New Rudder Grange
CHAPTER VII。
Treating of an Unsuccessful Broker and a Dog
CHAPTER VIII。
Pomona Once More
CHAPTER IX。
We Camp Out
CHAPTER X。
Wet Blankets
CHAPTER XI。
The Boarder's Visit
ChAPTER XII。
Lord Edward and the Tree…man
CHAPTER XIII。
Pomona's Novel
CHAPTER XIV。
Pomona takes a Bridal Trip
CHAPTER XV。
In which two New Friends disport themselves
CHAPTER XVI。
In which an Old Friend appears; and the Bridal Trip takes a Fresh
Start
CHAPTER XVII。
In which we take a Vacation and look for David Dutton
CHAPTER XVIII。
Our Tavern
CHAPTER XIX。
The Baby at Rudder Grange
CHAPTER XX。
The Other Baby at Rudder Grange
RUDDER GRANGE。
CHAPTER I。
TREATING OF A NOVEL STYLE OF DWELLING HOUSE。
For some months after our marriage; Euphemia and I boarded。 But we
did not like it。 Indeed; there was no reason why we should like
it。 Euphemia said that she never felt at home except when she was
out; which feeling; indicating such an excessively unphilosophic
state of mind; was enough to make me desire to have a home of my
own; where; except upon rare and exceptional occasions; my wife
would never care to go out。
If you should want to rent a house; there are three ways to find
one。 One way is to advertise; another is to read the
advertisements of other people。 This is a comparatively cheap way。
A third method is to apply to an agent。 But none of these plans
are worth anything。 The proper way is to know some one who will
tell you of a house that will exactly suit you。 Euphemia and I
thoroughly investigated this matter; and I know that what I say is
a fact。
We tried all the plans。 When we advertised; we had about a dozen
admirable answers; but in these; although everything seemed to
suit; the amount of rent was not named。 (None of those in which
the rent was named would do at all。) And when I went to see the
owners; or agents of these suitable houses; they asked much higher
rents than those mentioned in the unavailable answersand this;
notwithstanding the fact that they always asserted that their terms
were either very reasonable or else greatly reduced on account of
the season being advanced。 (It was now the fifteenth of May。)
Euphemia and I once wrote a book;this was just before we were
married;in which we told young married people how to go to
housekeeping and how much it would cost them。 We knew all about
it; for we had asked several people。 Now the prices demanded as
yearly rental for small furnished houses; by the owners and agents
of whom I have been speaking; were; in many cases; more than we had
stated a house could be bought and furnished for!
The advertisements of other people did not serve any better。 There
was always something wrong about the houses when we made close
inquiries; and the trouble was generally in regard to the rent。
With agents we had a little better fortune。 Euphemia sometimes
went with me on my expeditions to real estate offices; and she
remarked that these offices were always in the basement; or else
you had to go up to them in an elevator。 There was nothing between
these extremes。 And it was a good deal the same way; she said;
with their houses。 They were all very low indeed in price and
quality; or else too high。
One trouble was that we wanted a house in a country place; not very
far from the city; and not very far from the railroad station or
steamboat landing。 We also wanted the house to be nicely shaded
and fully furnished; and not to be in a malarial neighborhood; or
one infested by mosquitoes。
〃If we do go to housekeeping;〃 said Euphemia; 〃we might as well get
a house to suit us while we are about it。 Moving is more expensive
than a fire。〃
There was one man who offered us a house that almost suited us。 It
was near the water; had rooms enough; and somebut not very much
ground; and was very accessible to the city。 The rent; too; was
quite reasonable。 But the house was unfurnished。 The agent;
however; did not think that this would present any obstacle to our
taking it。 He was sure that the owner would furnish it if we paid
him ten per cent; on the value of the furniture he put into it。 We
agreed that if the landlord would do this and let us furnish the
house according to the plans laid down in our book; that we would
take the house。 But unfortunately this arrangement did not suit
the landlord; although he was in the habit of furnishing houses for
tenants and charging them ten per cent。 on the cost。
I saw him myself and talked to him about it。
〃But you see;〃 said he; when I had shown him our list of articles
necessary for the furnishing of a house; 〃it would not pay me to
buy all these things; and rent them out to you。 If you only wanted
heavy furniture; which would last for years; the plan would answer;
but you want everything。 I believe the small conveniences you have
on this list come to more money than the furniture and carpets。〃
〃Oh; yes;〃 said I。 〃We are not so very particular about furniture
and carpets; but these little conveniences are the things that make
housekeeping pleasant; and;speaking from a common…sense point of
view;profitable。〃
〃That may be;〃 he answered; 〃but I can't afford to make matters
pleasant and profitable for you in that way。 Now; then; let us
look at one or two particulars。 Here; on your list; is an ice…
pick: twenty…five cents。 Now; if I buy that ice…pick and rent it
to you at two and a…half cents a year; I shall not get my money
back unless it lasts you ten years。 And even then; as it is not
probable that I can sell that ice…pick after you have used it for
ten years; I shall have made nothing at all by my bargain。 And
there are other things in that list; such as feather…dusters and
lamp…chimneys; that couldn't possibly last ten years。 Don't you
see my position?〃
I saw it。 We did not get that furnished house。 Euphemia was
greatly disappointed。
〃It would have been just splendid;〃 she said; 〃to have taken our
book and have ordered all these things at the stores; one after
another; without even being obliged to ask the price。〃
I had my private doubts in regard to this matter of price。 I am
afraid that Euphemia generally set down the lowest price and the
best things。 She did not mean to mislead; and her plan certainly
made our book attractive。 But it did not work very well in
practice。 We have a friend who undertook to furnish her house by
our book; and she never could get the things as cheaply as we had
them quoted。
〃But you see;〃 said Euphemia; to her; 〃we had to put them down at
very low prices; because the model house we speak of in the book is
to be entirely furnished for just so much。〃
But; in spite of this e