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〃Would it have been a lie if I had said it was quite six？〃
〃Oh； my son； my son！ I shall never tell you a lie again。〃
〃No； mother； please don't。〃
〃My boy； have I done well to…day on the whole？〃
Suppose he were unable to say yes。
These are the merest peccadilloes； you may say。 Is it then a
little thing to be false to the agreement you signed when you got
the boy？ There are mothers who avoid their children in that
hour； but this will not save them。 Why is it that so many women
are afraid to be left alone with their thoughts between six and
seven？ I am not asking this of you； Mary。 I believe that when
you close David's door softly there is a gladness in your eyes；
and the awe of one who knows that the God to whom little boys say
their prayers has a face very like their mother's。
I may mention here that David is a stout believer in prayer； and
has had his first fight with another young Christian who
challenged him to the jump and prayed for victory； which David
thought was taking an unfair advantage。
〃So Mary is twenty…six！ I say； David； she is getting on。 Tell
her that I am coming in to kiss her when she is fifty…two。〃
He told her； and I understand that she pretended to be indignant。
When I pass her in the street now she pouts。 Clearly preparing
for our meeting。 She has also said； I learn； that I shall not
think so much of her when she is fifty…two； meaning that she will
not be so pretty then。 So little does the sex know of beauty。
Surely a spirited old lady may be the prettiest sight in the
world。 For my part； I confess that it is they； and not the young
ones； who have ever been my undoing。 Just as I was about to fall
in love I suddenly found that I preferred the mother。 Indeed； I
cannot see a likely young creature without impatiently
considering her chances for； say； fifty…two。 Oh； you mysterious
girls； when you are fifty…two we shall find you out； you must
come into the open then。 If the mouth has fallen sourly yours
the blame： all the meannesses your youth concealed have been
gathering in your face。 But the pretty thoughts and sweet ways
and dear； forgotten kindnesses linger there also； to bloom in
your twilight like evening primroses。
Is it not strange that； though I talk thus plainly to David about
his mother； he still seems to think me fond of her？ How now； I
reflect； what sort of bumpkin is this； and perhaps I say to him
cruelly： 〃Boy； you are uncommonly like your mother。〃
To which David： 〃Is that why you are so kind to me？〃
I suppose I am kind to him； but if so it is not for love of his
mother； but because he sometimes calls me father。 On my honour
as a soldier； there is nothing more in it than that。 I must not
let him know this； for it would make him conscious； and so break
the spell that binds him and me together。 Oftenest I am but
Captain W to him； and for the best of reasons。 He addresses me
as father when he is in a hurry only； and never have I dared ask
him to use the name。 He says； 〃Come； father；〃 with an accursed
beautiful carelessness。 So let it be； David； for a little while
longer。
I like to hear him say it before others； as in shops。 When in
shops he asks the salesman how much money he makes in a day； and
which drawer he keeps it in； and why his hair is red； and does he
like Achilles； of whom David has lately heard； and is so
enamoured that he wants to die to meet him。 At such times the
shopkeepers accept me as his father； and I cannot explain the
peculiar pleasure this gives me。 I am always in two minds then；
to linger that we may have more of it； and to snatch him away
before he volunteers the information； 〃He is not really my
father。〃
When David meets Achilles I know what will happen。 The little
boy will take the hero by the hand； call him father； and drag him
away to some Round Pond。
One day； when David was about five； I sent him the following
letter： 〃Dear David： If you really want to know how it began；
will you come and have a chop with me to…day at the club？〃
Mary； who； I have found out； opens all his letters； gave her
consent； and； I doubt not； instructed him to pay heed to what
happened so that he might repeat it to her； for despite her
curiosity she knows not how it began herself。 I chuckled；
guessing that she expected something romantic。
He came to me arrayed as for a mighty journey； and looking
unusually solemn； as little boys always do look when they are
wearing a great coat。 There was a shawl round his neck。 〃You
can take some of them off；〃 I said； 〃when we come to summer。〃
〃Shall we come to summer？〃 he asked； properly awed。
〃To many summers；〃 I replied； 〃for we are going away back； David；
to see your mother as she was in the days before there was you。〃
We hailed a hansom。 〃Drive back six years；〃 I said to the cabby；
〃and stop at the Junior Old Fogies' Club。〃
He was a stupid fellow； and I had to guide him with my umbrella。
The streets were not quite as they had been in the morning。 For
instance； the bookshop at the corner was now selling fish。 I
dropped David a hint of what was going on。
〃It doesn't make me littler； does it？〃 he asked anxiously； and
then； with a terrible misgiving： 〃It won't make me too little；
will it； father？〃 by which he meant that he hoped it would not do
for him altogether。 He slipped his hand nervously into mine； and
I put it in my pocket。
You can't think how little David looked as we entered the portals
of the club。
II
The Little Nursery Governess
As I enter the club smoking…room you are to conceive David
vanishing into nothingness； and that it is any day six years ago
at two in the afternoon。 I ring for coffee； cigarette； and
cherry brandy； and take my chair by the window； just as the
absurd little nursery governess comes tripping into the street。
I always feel that I have rung for her。
While I am lifting the coffee…pot cautiously lest the lid fall
into the cup； she is crossing to the post…office； as I select the
one suitable lump of sugar she is taking six last looks at the
letter； with the aid of William I light my cigarette； and now she
is re…reading the delicious address。 I lie back in my chair； and
by this time she has dropped the letter down the slit。 I toy
with my liqueur； and she is listening to hear whether the postal
authorities have come for her letter。 I scowl at a fellow…member
who has had the impudence to enter the smoking…room； and her two
little charges are pulling her away from the post…office。 When I
look out at the window again she is gone； but I shall ring for
her to…morrow at two sharp。
She must have passed the window many times before I noticed her。
I know not where she lives； though I suppose it to be hard by。
She is taking the little boy and girl； who bully her； to the St。
James's Park； as their hoops tell me； and she ought to look
crushed and faded。