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another。
I saw her again； years afterward； when she was a married woman
playing with her children。 She stamped her foot at a naughty
one； and I saw the gleam of her teeth as she gnashed them in the
dear pretty way I can't forget； and then a boy and girl； fighting
for her shoulders； brought the whole group joyously to the
ground。 She picked herself up in the old leisurely manner； lazily
active； and looked around her benignantly； like a cow： our dear
wild one safely tethered at last with a rope of children。 I
meant to make her my devoirs； but； as I stepped forward； the old
wound broke out afresh； and I had to turn away。 They were but a
few poor drops； which fell because I found that she was even a
little sweeter than I had thought。
X
Sporting Reflections
I have now told you （I presume） how I became whimsical； and I
fear it would please Mary not at all。 But speaking of her； and；
as the cat's light keeps me in a ruminating mood； suppose；
instead of returning Mary to her lover by means of the letter； I
had presented a certain clubman to her consideration？ Certainly
no such whimsical idea crossed my mind when I dropped the letter；
but between you and me and my night…socks； which have all this
time been airing by the fire because I am subject to cold feet； I
have sometimes toyed with it since。
Why did I not think of this in time？ Was it because I must ever
remain true to the unattainable she？
I am reminded of a passage in the life of a sweet lady； a friend
of mine； whose daughter was on the eve of marriage； when suddenly
her lover died。 It then became pitiful to watch that trembling
old face trying to point the way of courage to the young one。 In
time； however； there came another youth； as true； I dare say； as
the first； but not so well known to me； and I shrugged my
shoulders cynically to see my old friend once more a matchmaker。
She took him to her heart and boasted of him； like one made young
herself by the great event； she joyously dressed her pale
daughter in her bridal gown； and； with smiles upon her face； she
cast rice after the departing carriage。 But soon after it had
gone； I chanced upon her in her room； and she was on her knees in
tears before the spirit of the dead lover。 〃Forgive me；〃 she
besought him； 〃for I am old； and life is gray to friendless
girls。〃 The pardon she wanted was for pretending to her daughter
that women should act thus。
I am sure she felt herself soiled。
But men are of a coarser clay。 At least I am； and nearly twenty
years had elapsed； and here was I burdened under a load of
affection； like a sack of returned love…letters； with no lap into
which to dump them。
〃They were all written to another woman； ma'am； and yet I am in
hopes that you will find something in them about yourself。〃 It
would have sounded oddly to Mary； but life is gray to friendless
girls； and something might have come of it。
On the other hand； it would have brought her for ever out of the
wood of the little hut； and I had but to drop the letter to send
them both back there。 The easiness of it tempted me。
Besides； she would tire of me when I was really known to her。
They all do； you see。
And； after all； why should he lose his laugh because I had lost
my smile？
And then； again； the whole thing was merely a whimsical idea。
I dropped the letter； and shouldered my burden。
XI
The Runaway Perambulator
I sometimes met David in public places such as the Kensington
Gardens； where he lorded it surrounded by his suite and wearing
the blank face and glass eyes of all carriage…people。 On these
occasions I always stalked by； meditating on higher things；
though Mary seemed to think me very hardhearted； and Irene； who
had become his nurse （I forget how； but fear I had something to
do with it）； ran after me with messages； as； would I not call and
see him in his home at twelve o'clock； at which moment； it
seemed； he was at his best。
No； I would not。
〃He says tick…tack to the clock；〃 Irene said； trying to snare me。
〃Pooh！〃 said I。
〃Other little 'uns jest says 'tick…tick；'〃 she told me； with a
flush of pride。
〃I prefer 'tick…tick；'〃 I said； whereat she departed in dudgeon。
Had they had the sense to wheel him behind a tree and leave him；
I would have looked； but as they lacked it； I decided to wait
until he could walk； when it would be more easy to waylay him。
However； he was a cautious little gorbal who； after many threats
to rise； always seemed to come to the conclusion that he might do
worse than remain where he was； and when he had completed his
first year I lost patience with him。
〃When I was his age；〃 I said to Irene； 〃I was running about。〃 I
consulted them casually about this matter at the club； and they
had all been running about at a year old。
I made this nurse the following offer： If she would bring the
dilatory boy to my rooms and leave him there for half an hour I
would look at him。 At first Mary； to whom the offer was passed
on； rejected it with hauteur； but presently she wavered； and the
upshot was that Irene； looking scornful and anxious； arrived one
day with the perambulator。 Without casting eyes on its occupant；
I pointed Irene to the door： 〃In half…an…hour；〃 I said。
She begged permission to remain； and promised to turn her back；
and so on； but I was obdurate； and she then delivered herself of
a passionately affectionate farewell to her charge； which was
really all directed against me； and ended with these powerful
words： 〃And if he takes off your socks； my pretty； may he be
blasted for evermore。〃
〃I shall probably take off her socks；〃 I said carelessly to this。
Her socks。 Do you see what made Irene scream？
〃It is a girl； is it not？〃 I asked； thus neatly depriving her of
coherent speech as I pushed her to the door。 I then turned round
toto begin； and； after reflecting； I began by sitting down
behind the hood of his carriage。 My plan was to accustom him to
his new surroundings before bursting on the scene myself。
I had various thoughts。 Was he awake？ If not； better let him
wake naturally。 Half…an…hour was a long time。 Why had I not
said quarter…of…an…hour？ Anon； I saw that if I was to sit there
much longer I should have said an hour； so I whistled softly； but
he took no notice。 I remember trying to persuade myself that if
I never budged till Irene's return； it would be an amusing
triumph over Mary。 I coughed； but still there was no response。
Abruptly； the fear smote me。 Perhaps he is not there。
I rose hastily； and was striding forward； when I distinctly
noticed a covert movement somewhere near the middle of the
carriage； and heard a low gurgle； which was instantly suppressed。
I stopped dead at this sharp reminder that I was probably not the
only curious person in the room； and for a long moment we both
lay low； after which； I am gla