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disinterested and philanthropic millionaire； you take me forfor
something different from what I am。 We have both made mistakes。
In a word； it is impossible for me to accept your offer！〃
〃Is that final？〃 asked Poulter。
〃Certainly；〃 said I。
Poulter gathered his manuscripts together and replaced them in the
bag； and got up to leave the room。
〃Good evening； Mr。 Dale；〃 he said mournfully； as I opened the door
of the room。 〃Good evening〃he kept on talking till he was fairly
out of the house〃mark my words； you'll be sorryvery sorryone
day that you did not fall in with my scheme。 Offers like mine
don't come every day； and you will one day regret having refused
it。〃
With these words he left the house。
I had little appetite for my dinner that evening。
The Pipe
〃RANDOLPH CRESCENT； N。 W。
MY DEAR PUGHI hope you will like the pipe which I send with this。
It is rather a curious example of a certain school of Indian
carving。 And is a present from
〃Yours truly； JOSEPH TRESS。〃
It was really very handsome of Tressvery handsome！ The more
especially as I was aware that to give presents was not exactly in
Tress's line。 The truth is that when I saw what manner of pipe it
was I was amazed。 It was contained in a sandalwood box； which was
itself illustrated with some remarkable specimens of carving。 I
use the word 〃remarkable〃 advisedly； because； although the
workmanship was undoubtedly； in its way； artistic； the result could
not be described as beautiful。 The carver had thought proper to
ornament the box with some of the ugliest figures I remember to
have seen。 They appeared to me to be devils。 Or perhaps they were
intended to represent deities appertaining to some mythological
system with which； thank goodness； I am unacquainted。 The pipe
itself was worthy of the case in which it was contained。 It was of
meerschaum； with an amber mouthpiece。 It was rather too large for
ordinary smoking。 But then； of course； one doesn't smoke a pipe
like that。 There are pipes in my collection which I should as soon
think of smoking as I should of eating。 Ask a china maniac to let
you have afternoon tea out of his Old Chelsea； and you will learn
some home truths as to the durability of human friendships。 The
glory of the pipe； as Tress had suggested； lay in its carving。 Not
that I claim that it was beautiful； any more than I make such a
claim for the carving on the box； but； as Tress said in his note；
it was curious。
The stem and the bowl were quite plain； but on the edge of the bowl
was perched some kind of lizard。 I told myself it was an octopus
when I first saw it； but I have since had reason to believe that it
was some almost unique member of the lizard tribe。 The creature
was represented as climbing over the edge of the bowl down toward
the stem； and its legs； or feelers； or tentacula； or whatever the
things are called； were； if I may use a vulgarism； sprawling about
〃all over the place。〃 For instance； two or three of them were
twined about the bowl； two or three of them were twisted round the
stem； and one； a particularly horrible one； was uplifted in the
air； so that if you put the pipe in your mouth the thing was
pointing straight at your nose。
Not the least agreeable feature about the creature was that it was
hideously lifelike。 It appeared to have been carved in amber； but
some coloring matter must have been introduced； for inside the
amber the creature was of a peculiarly ghastly green。 The more I
examined the pipe the more amazed I was at Tress's generosity。 He
and I are rival collectors。 I am not going to say； in so many
words； that his collection of pipes contains nothing but rubbish；
because； as a matter of fact； he has two or three rather decent
specimens。 But to compare his collection to mine would be absurd。
Tress is conscious of this； and he resents it。 He resents it to
such an extent that he has been known； at least on one occasion； to
declare that one single pipe of hisI believe he alluded to the
Brummagem relic preposterously attributed to Sir Walter Raleigh
was worth the whole of my collection put together。 Although I have
forgotten this； as I hope I always shall forgive remarks made when
envious passions get the better of our nobler nature； even of a
Joseph Tress； it is not to be supposed that I have forgotten it。
He was； therefore； not at all the sort of person from whom I
expected to receive a present。 And such a present！ I do not
believe that he himself had a finer pipe in his collection。 And to
have given it to me！ I had misjudged the man。 I wondered where he
had got it from。 I had seen his pipes； I knew them off by heart
and some nice trumpery he has among them； too！ but I had never seen
THAT pipe before。 The more I looked at it； the more my amazement
grew。 The beast perched upon the edge of the bowl was so lifelike。
Its two bead…like eyes seemed to gleam at me with positively human
intelligence。 The pipe fascinated me to such an extent that I
actually resolved tosmoke it！
I filled it with Perique。 Ordinarily I use Birdseye； but on those
very rare occasions on which I use a specimen I smoke Perique。 I
lit up with quite a small sensation of excitement。 As I did so I
kept my eyes perforce fixed upon the beast。 The beast pointed its
upraised tentacle directly at me。 As I inhaled the pungent tobacco
that tentacle impressed me with a feeling of actual uncanniness。
It was broad daylight； and I was smoking in front of the window；
yet to such an extent was I affected that it seemed to me that the
tentacle was not only vibrating； which； owing to the peculiarity of
its position； was quite within the range of probability； but
actually moving； elongatingstretching forward； that is； farther
toward me； and toward the tip of my nose。 So impressed was I by
this idea that I took the pipe out of my mouth and minutely
examined the beast。 Really； the delusion was excusable。 So
cunningly had the artist wrought that he succeeded in producing a
creature which； such was its uncanniness； I could only hope had no
original in nature。
Replacing the pipe between my lips I took several whiffs。 Never
had smoking had such an effect on me before。 Either the pipe； or
the creature on it； exercised some singular fascination。 I seemed；
without an instant's warning； to be passing into some land of
dreams。 I saw the beast； which was perched upon the bowl； writhe
and twist。 I saw it lift itself bodily from the meerschaum。
II
〃Feeling better now？〃
I looked up。 Joseph Tress was speaking。
〃What's the matter？ Have I been ill？〃
〃You appear to have been in some kind of swoon。〃 Tress's tone was
peculiar； even a little dry。
〃Swoon！ I never was guilty of such a thing in my life。〃
〃Nor was I； until I smoked that pipe。〃
I sat up。 The act of sitting up made me conscious of the fact that