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asking her if she had any friends。
〃I thought I had one friend left；〃 she said； 〃or you would never
have met me in this place。 It turns out I was wrong。 My friend's
door was closed in my face some hours since； my friend's servants
threatened me with the police。 I had nowhere else to go； after
trying my luck in your neighborhood； and nothing left but my two…
shilling piece and these rags on my back。 What respectable
innkeeper would take ME into his house？ I walked about； wondering
how I could find my way out of the world without disfiguring
myself； and without suffering much pain。 You have no river in
these parts。 I didn't see my way out of the world； till I heard
you ringing at the doctor's house。 I got a glimpse at the bottles
in the surgery； when he let you in； and I thought of the laudanum
directly。 What were you doing there？ Who is that medicine for？
Your wife？〃
〃I am not married！〃
She laughed again。 〃Not married！ If I was a little better dressed
there might be a chance for ME。 Where do you live？ Here？〃
We had arrived； by this time； at my mother's door。 She held out
her hand to say good…by。 Houseless and homeless as she was； she
never asked me to give her a shelter for the night。 It was MY
proposal that she should rest； under my roof； unknown to my mother
and my aunt。 Our kitchen was built out at the back of the cottage：
she might remain there unseen and unheard until the household was
astir in the morning。 I led her into the kitchen； and set a chair
for her by the dying embers of the fire。 I dare say I was to
blameshamefully to blame； if you like。 I only wonder what YOU
would have done in my place。 On your word of honor as a man； would
YOU have let that beautiful creature wander back to the shelter of
the stone quarry like a stray dog？ God help the woman who is
foolish enough to trust and love you； if you would have done that！
I left her by the fire； and went to my mother's room。
IX
If you have ever felt the heartache； you will know what I suffered
in secret when my mother took my hand； and said； 〃I am sorry；
Francis； that your night's rest has been disturbed through ME。〃 I
gave her the medicine； and I waited by her till the pains abated。
My aunt Chance went back to her bed； and my mother and I were left
alone。 I noticed that her writing…desk； moved from its customary
place； was on the bed by her side。 She saw me looking at it。
〃This is your birthday； Francis；〃 she said。 〃Have you anything to
tell me？〃 I had so completely forgotten my Dream； that I had no
notion of what was passing in her mind when she said those words。
For a moment there was a guilty fear in me that she suspected
something。 I turned away my face； and said； 〃No； mother； I have
nothing to tell。〃 She signed to me to stoop down over the pillow
and kiss her。 〃God bless you； my love！〃 she said； and many happy
returns of the day。〃 She patted my hand； and closed her weary
eyes； and； little by little； fell off peaceably into sleep。
I stole downstairs again。 I think the good influence of my mother
must have followed me down。 At any rate； this is true： I stopped
with my hand on the closed kitchen door； and said to myself：
〃Suppose I leave the house； and leave the village； without seeing
her or speaking to her more？〃
Should I really have fled from temptation in this way； if I had
been left to myself to decide？ Who can tell？ As things were； I
was not left to decide。 While my doubt was in my mind； she heard
me； and opened the kitchen door。 My eyes and her eyes met。 That
ended it。
We were together； unsuspected and undisturbed； for the next two
hours。 Time enough for her to reveal the secret of her wasted
life。 Time enough for her to take possession of me as her own； to
do with me as she liked。 It is needless to dwell here on the
misfortunes which had brought her low； they are misfortunes too
common to interest anybody。
Her name was Alicia Warlock。 She had been born and bred a lady。
She had lost her station； her character； and her friends。 Virtue
shuddered at the sight of her； and Vice had got her for the rest of
her days。 Shocking and common； as I told you。 It made no
difference to ME。 I have said it alreadyI say it againI was a
man bewitched。 Is there anything so very wonderful in that？ Just
remember who I was。 Among the honest women in my own station in
life； where could I have found the like of HER？ Could THEY walk as
she walked？ and look as she looked？ When THEY gave me a kiss； did
their lips linger over it as hers did？ Had THEY her skin； her
laugh； her foot； her hand； her touch？ SHE never had a speck of
dirt on her： I tell you her flesh was a perfume。 When she embraced
me； her arms folded round me like the wings of angels； and her
smile covered me softly with its light like the sun in heaven。 I
leave you to laugh at me； or to cry over me； just as your temper
may incline。 I am not trying to excuse myselfI am trying to
explain。 You are gentle…folks； what dazzled and maddened ME； is
everyday experience to YOU。 Fallen or not； angel or devil； it came
to thisshe was a lady； and I was a groom。
Before the house was astir； I got her away （by the workmen's train）
to a large manufacturing town in our parts。
Herewith my savings in money to help hershe could get her
outfit of decent clothes and her lodging among strangers who asked
no questions so long as they were paid。 Herenow on one pretense
and now on anotherI could visit her； and we could both plan
together what our future lives were to be。 I need not tell you
that I stood pledged to make her my wife。 A man in my station
always marries a woman of her sort。
Do you wonder if I was happy at this time？ I should have been
perfectly happy but for one little drawback。 It was this： I was
never quite at my ease in the presence of my promised wife。
I don't mean that I was shy with her； or suspicious of her； or
ashamed of her。 The uneasiness I am speaking of was caused by a
faint doubt in my mind whether I had not seen her somewhere； before
the morning when we met at the doctor's house。 Over and over
again； I found myself wondering whether her face did not remind me
of some other facewhat other I never could tell。 This strange
feeling； this one question that could never be answered； vexed me
to a degree that you would hardly credit。 It came between us at
the strangest timesoftenest； however； at night； when the candles
were lit。 You have known what it is to try and remember a
forgotten nameand to fail； search as you may； to find it in your
mind。 That was my case。 I failed to find my lost face； just as
you failed to find your lost name。
In three weeks we had talked matters over； and had arranged how I
was to make a clean breast of it at home。 By Alicia's advice； I
was to describe her as having been one of my fellow servants during
the time I was employed under my ki