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wacancy； that wacancy must be filled up。 Oh； Mrs。 Corney； what a
prospect this opens！ What a opportunity for a jining of hearts and
housekeepings！”
Mrs。 Corney sobbed。
“The little word？” said Mr。 Bumble； bending over the bashful
beauty。 “The one little； little； little word； my blessed Corney？”
“Ye—ye—yes！” sighed out the matron。
“One more；” pursued the beadle； “compose your darling
feelings for only one more。 When is it to come off？” Mrs。 Corney
twice essayed to speak： and twice failed。 At length summoning up
courage； she threw her arms round Mr。 Bumble’s neck； and said； it
might be as soon as ever he pleased； and that he was “a irresistible
duck。”
Matters being thus amicably and satisfactorily arranged； the
contract was solemnly ratified in another tea…cupful of the
peppermint mixture； which was rendered the more necessary； by
the flutter and agitation of the lady’s spirits。 While it was being
disposed of； she acquainted Mr。 Bumble with the old woman’s
decease。
“Very good；” said that gentleman； sipping his peppermint； “I’ll
call at Sowerberry’s as I go home； and tell him to send tomorrow
morning。 Was it that as frightened you； love？”
“It wasn’t anything particular； dear；” said the lady evasively。
“It must have been something； love；” urged Mr。 Bumble。
“Won’t you tell your own B。？”
“Not now；” rejoined the lady； “one of these days。 After we’re
married； dear。”
“After we’re married！” exclaimed Mr。 Bumble。 “It wasn’t any
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impudence from any of them male paupers as—”
“No； no； love！” interposed the lady hastily。
“If I thought it was；” continued Mr。 Bumble； “if I thought as
any of ’em dared to lift his wulgar eyes to that lovely
countenance—”
“They wouldn’t have dared to do it； love；” responded the lady。
“They had better not！” said Mr。 Bumble； clenching his fist。 “Let
me see any man； porochial or extra…porochial； as would presume
to do it； and I can tell him that he wouldn’t do it a second time！”
Unembellished by any violence of gesticulation； this might have
seemed no very high compliment to the lady’s charms； but； as Mr。
Bumble accompanied the threat with many warlike gestures； she
was much touched with this proof of his devotion； and protested；
with great admiration； that he was indeed a dove。
The dove then turned up his coat collar； and put on his cocked
hat； and； having exchanged a long and affectionate embrace with
his future partner； once again braved the cold wind of the night；
merely pausing； for a few minutes； in the male paupers’ ward； to
abuse them a little； with the view of satisfying himself that he
could fill the office of workhouse…master with needful acerbity。
Assured of his qualifications； Mr。 Bumble left the building with a
light heart； and bright visions of his future promotion； which
served to occupy his mind until he reached the shop of the
undertaker。
Now； Mr。 and Mrs。 Sowerberry having gone out to tea and
supper； and Noah Claypole not being at any time disposed to take
upon himself a greater amount of physical exertion than is
necessary to a convenient performance of the two functions of
eating and drinking； the shop was not closed； although it was past
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the usual hour of shutting up。 Mr。 Bumble tapped with his cane on
the counter several times； but； attracting no attention； and
beholding a light shining through the glass window of the little
parlour at the back of the shop； he made bold to peep in and see
what was going forward； and when he saw what was going
forward； he was not a little surprised。
The cloth was laid for supper； the table was covered with bread…
and…butter； plates and glasses； a porter pot and a wine…bottle。 At
the upper end of the table； Mr。 Noah Claypole lolled negligently in
an easy…chair； with his legs thrown over one of the arms； an open
clasp…knife in one hand； and a mass of buttered bread in the other。
Close beside him stood Charlotte； opening oysters from a barrel；
which Mr。 Claypole condescended to swallow； with remarkable
avidity。 A more than ordinary redness in the region of the young
man’s nose； and a kind of fixed wink in his right eye； denoted that
he was in a slight degree intoxicated； these symptoms were
confirmed by the intense relish with which he took his oysters； for
which nothing but a strong appreciation of their cooling properties
in cases of internal fever； could have sufficiently accounted。
“Here’s a delicious fat one； Noah； dear！” said Charlotte； “try
him； do； only this one。”
“What a delicious thing is a oyster！” remarked Mr。 Claypole；
after he had swallowed it。 “What a pity it is； a number of ’em
should ever make you feel uncomfortable； isn’t it； Charlotte？”
“It’s quite a cruelty；” said Charlotte。
“So it is；” acquiesced Mr。 Claypole。 “Ain’t yer fond of oysters？”
“Not overmuch；” replied Charlotte。 “I like to see you eat ’em；
Noah； dear； better than eating ’em myself。”
“Lord！” said Noah reflectively； “how queer！”
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“Have another；” said Charlotte。 “Here’s one with such a
beautiful； delicate beard！”
“I can’t manage any more；” said Noah。 “I’m very sorry。 Come
here； Charlotte； and I’ll kiss yer。”
“What！” said Mr。 Bumble； bursting into the room。 “Say that
again； sir。”
Charlotte uttered a scream； and hid her face in her apron。 Mr。
Claypole； without making any further change in his position than
suffering his legs to reach the ground； gazed at the beadle in
drunken terror。
“Say it again； you wile； owdacious fellow！” said Mr。 Bumble。
“How dare you mention such a thing； sir？ And how dare you
encourage him； you insolent minx？ Kiss her！” exclaimed Mr。
Bumble； in strong indignation。 “Faugh！”
“I didn’t mean to do it！” said Noah； blubbering。 “She’s always a…
kissing of me； whether I like it； or not。”
“Oh； Noah；” cried Charlotte reproachfully。
“Yer are； yer know yer are！” retorted Noah。 “She’s always adoin’ of it。 Mr。 Bumble； sir； she chucks me under the chin； please；
sir； and makes all manner of love！”
“Silence！” cried Mr。 Bumble sternly。 “Take yourself downstairs；
ma’am。 Noah； you shut up the shop； say another word till your
master comes home； at your peril； and； when he does come home；
tell him that Mr。 Bumble said he was to send a old woman’s shell
after breakfast tomorrow morning。 Do you hear； sir？ Kissing！”
cried Mr。 Bumble； holding up his hands。 “The sin and wickedness
of the lower orders in this porochial district is frightful！ If
Parliament don’t take their abominable courses under
consideration； this country’s ruined； and the character of the
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peasantry gone for ever！” With these words； the beadle strode；
with a lofty and gloomy air； from the undertaker’s premises。
And now that we have accompanied him so