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atdocentgeneralhistoryspecialprofessordoctor Kriegfried Ueberallgemein。 All the delegates without exception expressed themselves in the strongest possible heterogeneous terms concerning the nameless barbarity which they had been called upon to witness。 An animated altercation （in which all took part） ensued among F。O。T。E。I。 as to whether the eighth or the ninth of March was the correct date of the birth of Ireland's patron saint。 In the course of the argument cannonballs； scimitars； boomerangs； blunderbusses； stinkpots； meatchoppers； umbrellas； catapults； knuckledusters； sandbags； lumps of pig iron were resorted to and blows were freely exchanged。 The baby policeman； Constable MacFadden； summoned by special courier from Booterstown； quickly restored order and with lightning promptitude proposed the seventeenth of the month as a solution equally honourable for both contending parties。 The readywitted ninefooter's suggestion at once appealed to all and was unanimously accepted。 Constable MacFadden was heartily congratulated by all the F。O。T。E。I。； several of whom were bleeding profusely。 mendatore Beninobenone having been extricated from underneath the presidential armchair； It was explained by his legal adviser Avvocato Pagamimi that the various articles secreted in his thirtytwo pockets had been abstracted by him during the affray from the pockets of his Junior colleagues in the hope of bringing them to their senses。 The objects （which included several hundred ladies' and gentlemen's gold and silver watches） were promptly restored to their rightful owners and general harmony reigned supreme。
Quietly； unassumingly； Rumbold stepped on to the scaffold in faultless morning dress and wearing his favourite flower the Gladiolus Cruentus。 He announced his presence by that gentle Rumboldian cough which so many have tried （unsuccessfully） to imitate … short； painstaking yet withal so characteristic of the man。 The arrival of the world…renowned headsman was greeted by a roar of acclamation from the huge concourse； the viceregal ladies waving their handkerchiefs in their excitement while the even more excitable foreign delegates cheered vociferously in a medley of cries； hoch； banzai； eljen； zivio； chinchin； polla kronia； hiphip； vive； Allah； amid which the ringing evviva of the delegate of the land of song （a high double F recalling those piercingly lovely notes with which the eunuch Catalani beglamoured our greatgreatgrandmothers） was easily distinguishable。 It was exactly seventeen o'clock。 The signal for prayer was then promptly given by megaphone and in an instant all heads were bared； the mendatore's patriarchal sombrero； which has been in the possession of his family since the revolution of Rienzi； being removed by his medical adviser in attendance； Dr Pippi。 The learned prelate who administered the last forts of holy religion to the hero martyr when about to pay the death penalty knelt in a most christian spirit in a pool of rainwater； his cassock above his hoary head； and offered up to the throne of grace fervent prayers of supplication。 Hard by the block stood the grim figure of the executioner； his visage being concealed in a tengallon pot with two circular perforated apertures through which his eyes glowered furiously。 As he awaited the fatal signal he tested the edge of his horrible weapon by honing it upon his brawny forearm or decapitated in rapid succession a flock of sheep which had been provided by the admirers of his fell but necessary office。 On a handsome mahogany table near him were neatly arranged the quartering knife； the various finely tempered disembowelling appliances （specially supplied by the worldfamous firm of cutlers； Messrs John Round and Sons； Sheffield）； a terracotta saucepan for the reception of the duodenum； colon； blind intestine and appendix etc when successfully extracted and two modious milkjugs destined to receive the most precious blood of the most precious victim。 The housesteward of the amalgamated cats' and dogs' home was in attendance to convey these vessels when replenished to that beneficent institution。 Quite an excellent repast consisting of rashers and eggs； fried steak and onions； done to a nicety； delicious hot breakfast rolls and invigorating tea had been considerately provided by the authorities for the consumption of the central figure of the tragedy who was in capital spirits when prepared for death and evinced the keenest interest in the proceedings from beginning to end but he； with an abnegation rare in these our times； rose nobly to the occasion and expressed the dying wish （immediately acceded to） that the meal should be divided in aliquot parts among the members of the sick and indigent roomkeeper's association as a token of his regard and esteem。 The nec and non plus ultra of emotion were reached when the blushing bride elect burst her way through the serried ranks of the bystanders and flung herself upon the muscular bosom of him who was about to be launched into eternity for her sake。 The hero folded her willowy form in a loving embrace murmuring fondly Sheila； my own。 Encouraged by this use of her christian name she kissed passionately all the various suitable areas of his person which the decencies of prison garb permitted her ardour to reach。 She swore to him as they mingled the salt streams of their tears that she would cherish his memory； that she would never forget her hero boy who went to his death with a song on his lips as if he were but going to a hurling match in Clonturk park。 She brought back to his recollection the happy days of blissful childhood together on the banks of Anna Liffey when they had indulged in the innocent pastimes of the young and； oblivious of the dreadful present； they both laughed heartily； all the spectators； including the venerable pastor； joining in the general merriment。 That monster audience simply rocked with delight。 But anon they were overe with grief and clasped their hands for the last time。 A fresh torrent of tears burst from their lachrymal ducts and the vast concourse of people； touched to the inmost core； broke into heartrending sobs； not the least affected being the aged prebendary himself。 Big strong men； officers of the peace and genial giants of the royal Irish constabulary； were making frank use of their handkerchiefs and it is safe to say that there was not a dry eye in that record assemblage。 A most romantic incident occurred when a handsome young Oxford graduate； noted for his chivalry towards the fair sex； stepped forward and； presenting his visiting card； bankbook and genealogical tree； solicited the hand of the hapless young lady； requesting her to name the day； and was accepted on the spot。 Every lady in the audience was presented with a tasteful souvenir of the occasion in the shape of a skull and crossbones brooch； a timely and generous act which evoked a fresh outburst of emotion： and when the gallant young Oxonian （the bearer； by the way； of one of the most timehonoured names in Albion's history） placed on the finger of his blushing fiancée an expensive engagement ring with emeralds set in the form of a fourleaved shamrock excitement knew no bounds。 Nay； even the stern provostmarshal； lieutenantcolonel Tomkin…Ma