尤利西斯-第236章

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h　all　father　left　me　in　spite　of　his　stamps　Ive　my　mothers　eyes　and　figure　anyhow　he　always　said　theyre　so　snotty　about　themselves　some　of　those　cads　he　wasnt　a　bit　like　that　he　was　dead　gone　on　my　lips　let　them　get　a　husband　first　thats　fit　to　be　looked　at　and　a　daughter　like　mine　or　see　if　they　can　excite　a　swell　with　money　that　can　pick　and　choose　whoever　he　wants　like　Boylan　to　do　it　4　or　5　times　locked　in　each　others　arms　or　the　voice　either　I　could　have　been　a　prima　donna　only　I　married　him　es　loooves　old　deep　down　chin　back　not　too　much　make　it　double　My　Ladys　Bower　is　too　long　for　an　encore　about　the　moated　grange　at　twilight　and　vaulted　rooms　yes　Ill　sing　Winds　that　blow　from　the　south　that　he　gave　after　the　choirstairs　performance　Ill　change　that　lace　on　my　black　dress　to　show　off　my　bubs　and　Ill　yes　by　God　Ill　get　that　big　fan　mended　make　them　burst　with　envy　my　hole　is　itching　me　always　when　I　think　of　him　I　feel　I　want　to　I　feel　some　wind　in　me　better　go　easy　not　wake　him　have　him　at　it　again　slobbering　after　washing　every　bit　of　myself　back　belly　and　sides　if　we　had　even　a　bath　itself　or　my　own　room　anyway　I　wish　hed　sleep　in　some　bed　by　himself　with　his　cold　feet　on　me　give　us　room　even　to　let　a　fart　God　or　do　the　least　thing　better　yes　hold　them　like　that　a　bit　on　my　side　piano　quietly　sweeeee　theres　that　train　far　away　pianissimo　eeeeeeee　one　more　song　that　was　a　relief　wherever　you　be　let　your　wind　go　free　who　knows　if　that　pork　chop　I　took　with　my　cup　of　tea　after　was　quite　good　with　the　heat　I　couldnt　smell　anything　off　it　Im　sure　that　queerlooking　man　in　the　porkbutchers　is　a　great　rogue　I　hope　that　lamp　is　not　smoking　fill　my　nose　up　with　smuts　better　than　having　him　leaving　the　gas　on　all　night　I　couldnt　rest　easy　in　my　bed　in　Gibraltar　even　getting　up　to　see　why　am　I　so　damned　nervous　about　that　though　I　like　it　in　the　winter　its　more　pany　O　Lord　it　was　rotten　cold　too　that　winter　when　I　was　only　about　ten　was　I　yes　I　had　the　big　doll　with　all　the　funny　clothes　dressing　her　up　and　undressing　that　icy　wind　skeeting　across　from　those　mountains　the　something　Nevada　sierra　nevada　standing　at　the　fire　with　the　little　bit　of　a　short　shift　I　had　up　to　heat　myself　I　loved　dancing　about　in　it　then　make　a　race　back　into　bed　Im　sure　that　fellow　opposite　used　to　be　there　the　whole　time　watching　with　the　lights　out　in　the　summer　and　I　in　my　skin　hopping　around　I　used　to　love　myself　then　stripped　at　the　washstand　dabbing　and　creaming　only　when　it　came　to　the　chamber　performance　I　put　out　the　light　too　so　then　there　were　2　of　us　Goodbye　to　my　sleep　for　this　night　anyhow　I　hope　hes　not　going　to　get　in　with　those　medicals　leading　him　astray　to　imagine　hes　young　again　ing　in　at　4　in　the　morning　it　must　be　if　not　more　still　he　had　the　manners　not　to　wake　me　what　do　they　find　to　gabber　about　all　night　squandering　money　and　getting　drunker　and　drunker　couldnt　they　drink　water　then　he　starts　giving　us　his　orders　for　eggs　and　tea　Findon　haddy　and　hot　buttered　toast　I　suppose　well　have　him　sitting　up　like　the　king　of　the　country　pumping　the　wrong　end　of　the　spoon　up　and　down　in　his　egg　wherever　he　learned　that　from　and　I　love　to　hear　him　falling　up　the　stairs　of　a　morning　with　the　cups　rattling　on　the　tray　and　then　play　with　the　cat　she　rubs　up　against　you　for　her　own　sake　I　wonder　has　she　fleas　shes　as　bad　as　a　woman　always　licking　and　lecking　but　I　hate　their　claws　I　wonder　do　they　see　anything　that　we　cant　staring　like　that　when　she　sits　at　the　top　of　the　stairs　so　long　and　listening　as　I　wait　always　what　a　robber　too　that　lovely　fresh　plaice　I　bought　I　think　Ill　get　a　bit　of　fish　tomorrow　or　today　is　it　Friday　yes　I　will　with　some　blancmange　with　black　currant　jam　like　long　ago　not　those　2　lb　pots　of　mixed　plum　and　apple　from　the　London　and　Newcastle　Williams　and　Woods　goes　twice　as　far　only　for　the　bones　I　hate　those　eels　cod　yes　Ill　get　a　nice　piece　of　cod　Im　always　getting　enough　for　3　forgetting　anyway　Im　sick　of　that　everlasting　butchers　meat　from　Buckleys　loin　chops　and　leg　beef　and　rib　steak　and　scrag　of　mutton　and　calfs　pluck　the　very　name　is　enough　or　a　picnic　suppose　we　all　gave　5/…　each　and　or　let　him　pay　and　invite　some　other　woman　for　him　who　Mrs　Fleming　and　drive　out　to　the　furry　glen　or　the　strawberry　beds　wed　have　him　examining　all　the　horses　toenails　first　like　he　does　with　the　letters　no　not　with　Boylan　there　yes　with　some　cold　veal　and　ham　mixed　sandwiches　there　are　little　houses　down　at　the　bottom　of　the　banks　there　on　purpose　but　its　as　hot　as　blazes　he　says　not　a　bank　holiday　anyhow　I　hate　those　ruck　of　Mary　Ann　coalboxes　out　for　the　day　Whit　Monday　is　a　cursed　day　too　no　wonder　that　bee　bit　him　better　the　seaside　but　Id　never　again　in　this　life　get　into　a　boat　with　him　after　him　at　Bray　telling　the　boatmen　he　knew　how　to　row　if　anyone　asked　could　he　ride　the　steeplechase　for　the　gold　cup　hed　say　yes　then　it　came　on　to　get　rough　the　old　thing　crookeding　about　and　the　weight　all　down　my　side　telling　me　to　pull　the　right　reins　now　pull　the　left　and　the　tide　all　swamping　in　floods　in　through　through　the　bottom　and　his　oar　slipping　out　of　the　stirrupits　a　mercy　we　werent　all　drowned　he　can　swim　of　course　me　no　theres　no　danger　whatsoever　keep　yourself　calm　in　his　flannel　trousers　Id　like　to　have　tattered　them　down　off　him　before　all　the　people　and　give　him　what　that　one　calls　flagellate　till　he　was　black　and　blue　do　him　all　the　good　in　the　world　only　for　that　longnosed　chap　I　dont　know　who　he　is　with　that　other　beauty　Burke　out　of　the　City　Arms　hotel　was　there　spying　around　as　usual　on　the　slip　always　where　he　wasnt　wanted　if　there　was　a　row　on　you　vomit　a　better　face　there　was　no　love　lost　between　us　thats　I　consolation　I　wonder　what　kind　is　that　book　he　brought　me　Sweets　of　Sin　by　a　gentleman　of　fashion　some　other　Mr　de　Kock　I　suppose　the　people　gave　him　that　nickname　going　about　with　his　tube　from　one　woman　to　another　I　couldnt　even　change　my　new　white　shoes　all　ruined　with　the　saltwater　and　the　hat　I　had　with　that　feather　all　blowy　and　tossed　on　me　how　annoying　and　provoking　because　the　smell　of　the　sea　excited　me　of　course　the　sardines　and　the　bream　in　Catalan　bay　round　the　back　of　the　rock　they　were　fine　all　silver　in　the　fishermens　baskets　old　Luigi　near　a　hundred　they　said　came　from　Genoa　and　the　tall　old　chap　with　the　earrings　I　dont　like　a　man　you　have　to　climb　up　to　go　get　at　I　suppose　theyre　all　dead　and　rotten　long　ago　besides　I　dont　like　being　alone　in　this　big　barracks　of　a　place　at　night　I　suppose　Ill　have　to　put　up　with　it　I　never　brought　a　bit　of　salt　in　even　when　we　moved　in　the　confusion　musical　academy　he　was　going　to　make　on　the　first　floor　drawingroom　with　a　brassplate　or　Blooms　private　hotel　he　suggested　go　and　ruin　himself　altogether　the　way　his　father　did　down　in　Ennis　like　all　the　things　he　told　father　he　was　going　to　do　and　me　but　I　saw　through　him　telling　me　all　the　lovely　places　we　could　go　for　the　honeymoon　Venice　by　moonlight　with　the　gondolas　and　the　lake　of　o　he　had　a　picture　cut　out　of　some　paper　of　and　mandolines　and　lanterns　O　how　nice　I　said　whatever　I　liked　he　was　going　to　do　immediately　if　not　sooner　will　you　be　my　man　will　you　carry　my　can　he　ought　to　get　a　leather　med