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e from the sister's words he had reckoned upon a speedy delivery he was； however； it must be owned； not a little alleviated by the intelligence that the issue so auspicated after an ordeal of such duress now testified once more to the mercy as well as to the bounty of the Supreme Being。
Accordingly he broke his mind to his neighbour； saying that； to express his notion of the thing； his opinion （who ought not perchance to express one） was that one must have a cold constitution and a frigid genius not to be rejoiced by this freshest news of the fruition of her confinement since she had been in such pain through no fault of hers。 The dressy young blade said it was her husband's that put her in that expectation or at least it ought to be unless she were another Ephesian matron。 I must acquaint you； said Mr Crothers； clapping on the table so as to evoke a resonant ment of emphasis； old Glory Allelujerum was round again to…day； an elderly man with dundrearies； preferring through his nose a request to have word of Wilhelmina； my life； as he calls her。 I bade him hold himself in readiness for that the event would burst anon。 'Slife； I'll be round with you。 I cannot but extol the virile potency of the old bucko that could still knock another child out of her。 All fell to praising of it； each after his own fashion； though the same young blade held with his former view that another than her conjugial had been the man in the gap； a clerk in orders； a linkboy （virtuous） or an itinerant vendor of articles needed in every household。 Singular； muned the guest with himself； the wonderfully unequal faculty of metempsychosis possessed by them； that the puerperal dormitory and the dissecting theatre should be the seminaries of such frivolity； that the mere acquisition of academic titles should suffice to transform in a pinch of time these votaries of levity into exemplary practitioners of an art which most men anywise eminent have esteemed the noblest。 But； he further added； it is mayhap to relieve the pentup feelings that in mon oppress them for I have more than once observed that birds of a feather laugh together。
But with what fitness； let it be asked； of the noble lord； his patron； has this alien； whom the concession of a gracious prince has admitted to civil rights； constituted himself the lord paramount of our internal polity？ Where is now that gratitude which loyalty should have counselled？ During the recent war whenever the enemy had a temporary advantage with his granados did this traitor to his kind not seize that moment to discharge his piece against the empire of which he is a tenant at will while he trembled for the security of his four per cents？ Has he forgotten this as he forgets all benefits received？ Or is it that from being a deluder of others he has bee at last his own dupe as he is； if report belie him not his own and his only enjoyer？ Far be it from candour to violate the bedchamber of a respectable lady； the daughter of a gallant major； or to cast the most distant reflections upon her virtue but if he challenges attention there （as it was indeed highly his interest not to have done） then be it so。 Unhappy woman she has been too long and too persistently denied her legitimate prerogative to listen to his objurgations with any other feeling than the derision of the desperate。 He says this； a censor of morals； a very pelican in his piety； who did not scruple； oblivious of the ties of nature； to attempt illicit intercourse with a female domestic drawn from the lowest strata of society。 Nay； had the hussy's scouringbrush not been her tutelary angel it had gone with her as hard as with Hagar； the Egyptian！ In the question of the grazing lands his peevish asperity is notorious and in Mr Cuffe's hearing brought upon him from an indignant rancher a scathing retort couched in terms as straightforward as they were bucolic。 It ill bees him to preach that gospel。 Has he not nearer home a seed…field that lies fallow for the want of a ploughshare？ A habit reprehensible at puberty is second nature and an opprobium in middlelife。 If he must dispense his balm of Gilead in nostrums and apothegms of dubious taste to restore to health a generation of unfledged profligates let his practice consist better with the doctrines that now engross him。 His marital breast is the repository of secrets which decorum is reluctant to adduce。 The lewd suggestions of some faded beauty may console him for a consort neglected and debauched but this new exponent of morals and healer of ills is at his best an exotic tree which； when rooted in its native orient； throve and flourished and was abundant in balm but； transplanted to a clime more temperate； its roots have lost their quondam vigour while the stuff that es away from it is stagnant； acid and inoperative。
The news was imparted with a circumspection recalling the ceremonial usages of the Sublime Porte by the second female infirmarian to the junior medical officer in residence； who in his turn announced to the delegation that an heir had been born。 When he had betaken himself to the women's apartment to assist at the prescribed ceremony of the afterbirth in the presence of the secretary of state for domestic affairs and the members of the privy council； silent in unanimous exhaustion and approbation； the delegates； chafing under the length and solemnity of their vigil and hoping that the joyful occurrence would palliate a licence which the simultaneous absence of abigail and officer rendered the easier； broke out at once into a strife of tongues。 In vain the voice of Mr Canvasser Bloom was heard endeavouring to urge； to mollify； to restrain。 The moment was too propitious for the display of that discursiveness which seemed the only bond of union among tempers so divergent。 Every phase of the situation was successively eviscerated： the prenatal repugnance of uterine brothers； the Caesarean section； posthumity with respect to the father and； that rarer form； with respect to the mother； the fratricidal case known as the Childs murder and endered memorable by the impassioned plea of Mr Advocate Bushe which secured the acquittal of the wrongfully accused； the rights of primogeniture and king's bounty touching twins and triplets； miscarriages and infanticides； simulated and dissimulated； acardiac ftus in ftu； aprosopia due to a congestion； the agnatia of certain chinless Chinamen （cited by Mr Candidate Mulligan） in consequence of defective reunion of the maxillary knobs along the medial line so that （as he said） one ear could hear what the other spoke； the benefits of anesthesia or twilight sleep； the prolongation of labour pains in advanced gravidancy by reason of pressure on the vein； the premature relentment of the amniotic fluid （as exemplified in the actual case） with consequent peril of sepsis to the matrix； artificial insemination by means of syringes； involution of the womb consequent upon the menopause； the problem of the perpetuation of the species in the case of females impregnated by delinquent rape； that distressing manner of delivery called by the Brandenburghers Sturzgeburt； the recorded instances of multigeminal； twikindled and monstrous births conceived during the catamenic period or of consanguin