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飘-第151章

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st; for the yams were exhausted and Pork’s snares and fishlines had yielded nothing。 One of the shoats would have to be killed the next day if they were to eat at all。 Strained and hungry faces; black and white; were staring at her; mutely asking her to provide food。 She would have to risk losing the horse and send Pork out to buy something。 And to make matters worse; Wade was ill with a sore throat and a raging fever and there was neither doctor nor medicine for him。
 Hungry; weary with watching her child; Scarlett left him to Melanie’s care for a while and lay down on her bed to nap。 Her feet icy; she twisted and turned; unable to sleep; weighed down with fear and despair。 Again and again; she thought: “What shall I do? Where shall I turn? Isn’t there anybody in the world who can help me?” Where had all the security of the world gone? Why wasn’t there someone; some strong wise person to take the burdens from her? She wasn’t made to carry them。 She did not know how to carry them。 And then she fell into an uneasy doze。
 She was in a wild strange country so thick with swirling mist she could not see her hand before her face。 The earth beneath her feet was uneasy。 It was a haunted land; still with a terrible stillness; and she was lost in it; lost and terrified as a child in the night。 She was bitterly cold and hungry and so fearful of what lurked in the mists about her that she tried to scream and could not。 There were things in the fog reaching out fingers to pluck at her skirt; to drag her down into the uneasy quaking earth on which she stood; silent; relentless; spectral hands。 Then; she knew that somewhere in the opaque gloom about her there was shelter; help; a heaven of refuge and warmth。 But where was it? Could she reach it before the hands clutched her and dragged her down into the quicksands?
 Suddenly she was running; running through the mist like a mad thing; crying and screaming; throwing out her arms to clutch only empty air and wet mist Where was the haven? It eluded her but it was there; hidden; somewhere。 If she could only reach it! If she could only reach it she would be safe! But terror was weakening her legs; hunger making her faint。 She gave one despairing cry and awoke to find Melanie’s worried face above her and Melanie’s hand shaking her to wakefulness。
 The dream returned again and again; whenever she went to sleep with an empty stomach。 And that was frequently enough。 It so frightened her that she feared to sleep; although she feverishly told herself there was nothing in such a dream to be afraid of。 There was nothing in a dream about fog to scare her so。 Nothing at all—yet the thought of dropping off into that mist…filled country so terrified her she began sleeping with Melanie; who would wake her up when her moaning and twitching revealed that she was again in the clutch of the dream。
 Under the strain she grew white and thin。 The pretty roundness left her face; throwing her cheek bones into prominence; emphasizing her slanting green eyes and giving her the look of a prowling; hungry cat。
 “Daytime is enough like a nightmare without my dreaming things;” she thought desperately and began hoarding her daily ration to eat it just before she went to sleep。
 
 At Christmas time Frank Kennedy and a small troop from the commissary department jogged up to Tara on a futile hunt for grain and animals for the army。 They were a ragged and ruffianly appearing crew; mounted on lame and heaving horses which obviously were in too bad condition to be used for more active service。 Like their animals the men had been invalided out of the front…line forces and; except for Frank; all of them had an arm missing or an eye gone or stiffened joints。 Most of them wore blue overcoats of captured Yankees and; for a brief instant of horror; those at Tara thought Sherman’s men had returned。
 They stayed the night on the plantation; sleeping on the floor in the parlor; luxuriating as they stretched themselves on the velvet rug; for it had been weeks since they had slept under a roof or on anything softer than pine needles and hard earth。 For all their dirty beards and tatters they were a well…bred crowd; full of pleasant small talk; jokes and compliments and very glad to be spending Christmas Eve in a big house; surrounded by pretty women as they had been accustomed to do in days long past。 They refused to be serious about the war; told outrageous lies to make the girls laugh and brought to the bare and looted house the first lightness; the first hint of festivity it had known in many a day。
 “It’s almost like the old days when we had house parties; isn’t it?” whispered Suellen happily to Scarlett。 Suellen was raised to the skies by having a beau of her own in the house again and she could hardly take her eyes off Frank Kennedy。 Scarlett was surprised to see that Suellen could be almost pretty; despite the thinness which had persisted since her illness。 Her cheeks were flushed and there was a soft luminous look in her eyes。
 “She really must care about him;” thought Scarlett in contempt。 “And I guess she’d be almost human if she ever had a husband of her own; even if her husband was old fuss…budget Frank。”
 Carreen had brightened a little too; and some of the sleep…walking look left her eyes that night。 She had found that one of the men had known Brent Tarleton and had been with him the day he was killed; and she promised herself a long private talk with him after supper。
 At supper Melanie surprised them all by forcing herself out of her timidity and being almost vivacious。 She laughed and joked and almost but not quite coquetted with a one…eyed soldier who gladly repaid her efforts with extravagant gallantries。 Scarlett knew the effort this involved both mentally and physically; for Melanie suffered torments of shyness in the presence of anything male。 Moreover she was far from well。 She insisted she was strong and did more work even than Dilcey but Scarlett knew she was sick。 When she lifted things her face went white and she had a way of sitting down suddenly after exertions; as if her legs would no longer support her。 But tonight she; like Suellen and Carreen; was doing everything possible to make the soldiers enjoy their Christmas Eve。 Scarlett alone took no pleasure in the guests。
 The troop had added their ration of parched corn and side meat to the supper of dried peas; stewed dried apples and peanuts which Mammy set before them and they declared it was the best meal they had had in months。 Scarlett watched them eat and she was uneasy。 She not only begrudged them every mouthful they ate but she was on tenterhooks lest they discover somehow that Pork had slaughtered one of the shoats the day before。 It now hung in the pantry and she had grimly promised her household that she would scratch out the eyes of anyone who mentioned the shoat to their guests or the presence of the dead pig’s sisters and brothers; safe in their pen in the swamp。 These hungry men could devour the whole shoat at one meal and; if they knew of the live hogs; they could commandeer them for the army。 She was alarmed; too; for the cow and the horse and wished they were hidden in the swamp; instead of tied in t
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