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board had begun bargaining with the tradesmen； but I decided not to buy anything until I had disembarked。 I had no sooner got off the ship than I was assailed by a man who wanted to sell me a diamond ring。 I had no intention of buying one； but I could not conceal the fact that I was impressed by the size of the diamonds。 Some of them were as big as marbles。 The man went to great lengths to prove that the diamonds were real。 As we were walking past a shop； he held a diamond firmly against the window and made a deep impression in the glass。 It took me over half an hour to get rid of him。
The next man to approach me was selling expensive pens and watches。 I examined one of the pens closely。 It certainly looked genuine。 At the base of the gold cap； the words 'made in the U。S。A。' had been neatly inscribed。 The man said that the pen was worth &10； but as a special favour； he would let me have it for &8。 I shook my head and held up a finger indicating that I was willing to
pay a pound。 Gesticulating wildly； the man acted as if he found my offer outrageous； but he eventually reduced the price to &3。 Shrugging my shoulders； I began to walk away when； a moment later； he ran after me and thrust the pen into my hands。 Though he kept throwing up his arms in despair； he readily accepted the pound I gave him。 I felt especially pleased with my wonderful bargainuntil I got back to the ship。 No matter how hard I tried； it was impossible to fill this beautiful pen with ink and to this day it has never written a single word ！
lesson29 Funny or not？
Whether we find a joke funny or not largely depends on where we have been brought up。 The sense of humour is mysteriously bound up with national characteristics。 A Frenchman； for instance； might find it hard to laugh at a Russian joke。 In the same way； a Russian might fail to see anything amusing in a joke which would make an Englishman laugh to tears。
Most funny stories are based on comic situations。 In spite of national differences； certain funny situations have a universal appeal。 No matter where you live； you would find it difficult not to laugh at； say； Charlie Chaplin's early films。 However； a new type of humour； which stems largely from America； has recently come into fashion。 It is cal1ed' sick humour '。 Comedians base their jokes on tragic situations like violent death or serious accidents。 Many people find this sort of joke distasteful。 The following example of 'sick humour' will enable you to judge for yourself。
A man who had broken his right leg was taken to hospital a few weeks before Christmas。 From the moment he arrived there； he kept on pestering his doctor to tell him when he would be able to go home。 He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital。 Though the doctor did his best； the patient's recovery was slow。 On Christmas day； the man still had his right leg in plaster。 He spent
a miserable day in bed thinking of all the fun he was missing。 The following day； however； the doctor consoled him by telling him that his chances of being able to leave hospital in time for New Year celebrations were good。 The man took heart and； sure enough； on New Year's Eve he was able to hobble along to a party。 To compensate for his unpleasant experiences in hospital； the man drank a little more than was good for him。 In the process； he enjoyed himself thoroughly and kept telling everybody how much he hated hospitals。 He was still mumbling something about hospitals at the end of the party when he slipped on a piece of ice and broke his left leg。
Lesson30 The death of a ghost
For years villagers believed that Endley farm was haunted。 The farm was owned by two brothers； Joe and Bert Cox。 They employed a few farm hands； but no one was willing to work there long。 Every time a worker gave up his job； he told the same story。 Farm labourers said that they always woke up to find the work had been done overnight。 Hay had been cut and cow sheds had been cleaned。 A farm worker； who stayed up all night； claimed to have seen a figure cutting corn in the
moonlight。 In time； it became an accepted fact that the Cox brothers employed a conscientious ghost that did most of their work for them。
No one suspected that there might be someone else on the farm who had never been seen。 This was indeed the case。 A short time ago； villagers were astonished to learn that the ghost of Endley had died。 Everyone went to the funeral； for the 'ghost' was none other than Eric Cox； a third brother who was supposed to have died as a young man。 After the funeral； Joe and Bert revealed
a secret which they had kept for over forty years。 Eric had been the eldest son of the family。 He had been obliged to join the army during the first World War。 As he hated army life he decided to desert his regiment。 When he learnt that he would be sent abroad； he returned to the farm and his farther hid him until the end of the war。 Fearing the authorities； Eric remained in hiding after the war as well。 His father told everybody that Eric had been killed in action。 The only other people who knew the secret were Joe and Bert。 They did not even tell their wives。 When their father died； they thought it their duty to keep Eric in hiding。 All these years； Eric had lived as a recluse锛堥殣閬佽�叄弧″瘋瀵炶�咃級。 He used to sleep during the day and work at night； quite unaware of the fact that he had become the ghost of Endley。 When he died； however； his brothers found it impossible to keep the secret any longer。
Lesson31 A lovable eccentric
True eccentrics never deliberately set out to draw attention to themselves。 They disregard social conventions without being conscious that they are doing anything extraordinary。 This invariably wins them the love and respect of others； for they add colour to the dull routine of everyday life。
Up to the time of his death； Richard Colson was one of the most notable figures in our town。 He was a shrewd and wealthy business…man； but the ordinary town…folk hardly knew anything about this side of his life。 He was known to us all as Dickie and his eccentricity had become legendary long before he died。 Dickie disliked snobs（鍔垮埄灏忎汉） intensely。 Though he owned a large car； he hardly ever used it； preferring always to go on foot。 Even when it was raining heavily； he refused to carry an umbrella。 One day； he walked into an expensive shop after having been caught in a particularly heavy shower。 He wanted to buy a &300 fur coat for his wife； but he was in such a bedraggled condition that an assistant refused to serve him。 Dickie left the shop without a word and returned carrying a large cloth bag。 As it was extremely heavy； he dumped it on the counter。 The assistant asked him to leave； but Dickie paid no attention to him and requested to see the manager。 Recognizing who the customer was； the manager was most apologetic and 'reprimanded the assistant severely。 When Dickie was given the fur coat； he presented the assistant with the cloth bag。 It contained &300 in pennies。 He insisted on the assistant's counting the money before he left 72；000 pennies in all！ On another occasion； he invited a number of important critics to see his private collection of modern paintings。 This exhibition received a great deal of atte